BLOGbuster

It's Just, Good Business.

2011-12-15T21:54:00.001+08:00

In Pirates of the Caribbean 3, Lord Cutler Beckett's last words 'It's Just, Good Business' before he was thrown to the deep ocean when counter explosions from both Jack Sparrow's and Will Turner's ships fired. He was shocked at the utmost, at the moment of truth, he didn't have to escape to save his life, because there are nothing left in his life where the 'good business' didn't do him a favour. Looking up to the sky while walking down the stairs, it almost felt like a joke from God, what was he trying to tell? Work harder and do whatever it takes, and I shall grant you what you want. He died in style but left a mission unaccomplished.

Somehow I am relating myself to him, it's weird that I have never set my eyes on him when we have the very charming Johnny Depp and the very good-looking Orlando Bloom. *drools*

The HSC results and ATAR aren't favourable. It hit me with complete shock and disappointment at the moment of truth when the website loaded on 3.30am yesterday and 7.45am today.

I looked up to the awesome KL view from my balcony, somehow it doesn't look fascinating tonight. Trying to find the moon where it's eclipse news dominated facebook newsfeed last week, I can't find it. Funny, I looked up to the sky and wondered, what are tou trying to tell me.

Looking at my comrade, smiling with pride and occupied with honours, deep inside ny heart, there were boomerang of yells 'that should be me'. I want to numb myself with my office work and the adrenaline of exercise, feed myself cheese, chocolate, green tea to cheer myself up. Time might be the best remedy.

Trying to send some grateful emails, tears kept flowing, the mixture of tears with eyeliner and mascara dropped, till I watched Bones. Perhaps God is trying to fool me again, it was a episode where a murdered surgeon paralyses Brennan's life, it's dubbed as the episode that makes people cry. Brennan saw herself in the victim, stressed, lonely and detached. Her world turned upside down in 3 days.

My world turned upside down in 3 days, it will turn back right up in 3 days. No? When God closes a door, He opens another door. What if, I only wanted the first door, it's always the first door.

Wenx

Same Shades of Blues.

2011-11-26T17:25:00.001+08:00

I remembered,

When we wore the same shades of blue,

When we met in the tunnel,

When our eyes caught each other,

How those gave me faith that we had fate.

It was four to five months ago,

From a student, to a stalker,

From follower, to Facebook friend,

From passionate, to losing interest,

Now that it's time to say goodbye,

I was not ready.

No more looking forward to the weekends,

No more tomato-red faces,

No more squealing inside my heart,

No more heart-pumping.

Should have had the guts to talk,

Should have caught the last moment,

Wrong time wrong opportunity,

Perhaps it's better this way,

At least you will remember,

The girl who didn't talk to you,

The girl who didn't wave you back.

Never talk,

Never officially met,

My best wishes to you,

And thank you for the teenage dream.

Love,

Wenx

Crash Crash Burn

2011-11-14T21:33:00.001+08:00

Never knew something like this would happen to be so fast, just after 1 1/2 years of driving.

Never admit I am a good driver, but I do think I am a careful driver, or sometimes over confident. 12th November 2011. A very first accident, scary and traumatic. I am not sure whether I should laugh or cry. For sure, I am grateful that no one was injured. But I totally can't remember that moment when the impact happened. Perhaps the 2 seconds exchange with the opposite car seemed short, but it was significant enough to leave a very deep mark in my memory.

Driving on the opposite lane where I thought I was supposed to drive on, since my road was blocked. Light flashed from the opposite direction, I knew something was wrong. Slowing down and pressing on the horn made no help, an impact was inevitable. For one moment, I was completely clueless and senseless. Until my friend's voice broke the silence, urging to pull the handbrake.

It wasn't my fault, it wasn't the oncoming car's fault either. If there was a party to blame, it would be the wrong place at the wrong time. Perhaps this served me right, lessons are learned. I could have avoided this, in many ways. I couldn't stop thinking every time I am alone and every night when I am falling asleep, I keep asking myself 'why', 'why so stupid', 'why going back to that haunting path'?

I felt guilty for causing trouble to my parents, from waking up from sleep to lodging a police report, from 2 hours sleep to only 1 car to drive between them, from the trouble of getting back the report and sending the car to the service centre. All these wouldn't have happened if it weren't the pleaser attitude of mine.

Since Saturday, I have been craving for support and love. I wish there is someone to hold me when I need a hand, funny, I have been waiting for all year long. Instead, what I got is requests from people asking for help. Sometimes, sorry is not the hardest word, 'no' is. I immersed myself in the routine of gym, wanting it to release the tension in me. Somehow it does ease me, but it all came back within me.

That flash of light from the opposite car will be on my mind for awhile, it isn't something to be forgotten so easily. The wound in my heart that has lasted for this year, it needs to come to a halt, thank God 2011 is coming to an end. Drivers out there, no matter how good or confident you are, accidents bound to happen any time at any circumstances. Drive slow and careful, safe and sound, signal left and right, look up and down.

Crashed and Burned,

Wenz

1 Down, 5 to Go.

2011-10-20T20:29:00.001+08:00

The title says it all. The hellish week will start next Monday, lasting for 13 days. I cannot wait to clear my books, out of sight, out of fright. I was surprised by the waves of inspiration in the beginning of the week. I wish it didn't die down.

3 papers next week, 3 of my favourites, 3 of my best. Ironically, I am flushed by spasm of horror, worrying that I would not perform well. I am afraid being hit cold by failure and thud of disappointment.

I am very grateful for the support and love given by friends and family, yes I do feel the rush of love. I look up to inspiring figures for motivation. When I look into the mirror, I am one step closer to the finishing line but walking backwards due to hesitation, arrogance, distress and fatigue. Is it worth it?

You and I both know the answer.

In the midst of a serious revival, I ought to toughen up, stop myself from drowning in misery and focus on what I can change.

Love,
Wenx

The End of a Beginning

2011-10-16T22:13:00.000+08:00

Seriously, how many ends will we have? There is only one which is death. But through the journeys and chapters of life, there are countless beginnings where it starts from countless ends. For example, when my mother gave birth to me, it's the end of a 9 month pregnancy with the beginning of a new-born's exploration of life. When I fell while learn to walk, it's the end of babyhood with the beginning of childhood where things are magical. When I finished from UPSR to PMR, from PMR to SPM, it's the end of an exam which I would thought it's the hardest at that stage with the beginning of a harder one. Funny yet ironic. When you first get a boyfriend, it's the end of singlehood with a beginning to a relationship with someone, a special someone whom you would wanna share your life with. When you have broken up with the first boyfriend, it's the end of a relationship with a beginning of another relationship with a better approach and a tougher heart to love.

And now, with the example which is relative to me. When I am going to have my finals in Tuesday, finishing in 3 weeks time, it's the end of a winding journey with the beginning of the path to undergraduate studies, to a hopeful happening journey outside home. The manual countdown on my room indicates there's only one day left :S

You might wanna ask, are you prepared? I wouldn't say yes yet I wouldn't deny. Perhaps it have been a year long difficult journey, my confidence level is gradually decreasing, with a negative thought that 'no matter what I do, it's just not enough!' I have not worked hard to the utmost, I have not been studying day and night (but I do have my afternoon nap with books sharing half of my bed, it's just some peculiar habits I have, and yes, you may laugh), I have not been disciplined and motivated. I am afraid it might cost me my dream, a dream that I dreamt since I was Form 5.

I do believe God is fair. He will give you the returns you deserved. I know my degree of effort isn't worth my desired ATAR, but I do pray hard that He will bless me for the next 3 weeks. I thank God for showing me the motivations and blessings I need. Cristiano Ronaldo whom I idolised for years, yes I would try my best from now, eventhough it's just 3 weeks, to show my dream. Oprah Winfrey whom is so inspirational and powerful, where her show gave me strength to achieve, the heart for love and the will to continue. Mr B.L. whom is the true idol whom I met last Saturday (so starstrucked!) whom wished me with his words and a pat on the waist. My gym instructor who reminded me to 'chill, mate'. Family and friends whom show support, advices and love whom I am so grateful to have them.

Complaning about the lack of effort is no help to the battle, I pray for the best and I hope God will show me the path and the right way. Thank you, and thank you for all. Good luck to all of my comrades, may the best is with you.

Love,
Wenx

To USA with LOVE

2011-10-15T21:53:00.000+08:00

Need not introduction, she's one significant figure in my life. Remembering how we first get closed, it gotta be in 2008, Form 4 when we were destined to sit together in class. From class partners to good friends, from good friends to hubby-wifey, from hubby-wifey to best friends, it have been 4 years and we are still going strong.

Recalling all the sweet memories we have, it's just uncountable. First sleepover at your place, 'attended' Daughtry concert, watched Avril Lavigne's concert, all the after school hangouts, TGIF date, fortnightly catch ups, Singapore trip this June, first photo shoot, the sharing and gossiping sessions, Damansara Uptown adventure, birthdays, more and more. The last memory we had were the day you left. It really didn't hit me till the very last 10 minutes. We sobbed as we hugged, waved, and watched you left to the airport. Yet, the very touching letter you gave, signified our friendship has more to come.

It's hard to find a friend who will always make the move to keep in touch, because I know I am not. It's hard to find a friend who care about you sincerely. It's hard to find a friend who never gives up on me and willing to listen to my complaints. It's hard to find a friend who shares the same interest. It's hard to find that friend, but I am thankful I found you.

I am not good in expressing love. But when I say 'I love you', it is a huge step and it really means 'I love you'. Dealing with your departure to the States, I am really happy that your dream comes true but it wasn't an easy feeling. There's less outings for me on Fridays or Saturdays, which will make my mother slightly happy. Although there's less communication, but we both know, the friendship is still going strong, because I love you ;)

Happy 19th Birthday Joanne Chong.

Hugs and Kisses to USA,

From Malaysia with Love.
Sorry I couldn't make something special for your birthday. But you do know, you hold a very special position in my heart <3

Love you so much,

Wenz

The Girl in the Crowd

2011-10-11T21:23:00.000+08:00

I read a magazine article the other day, describing his experience in a women-dominated environment. However, what if it's the other way round?

The picture says it all, being the only girl in a crowd of boys. Somehow it makes you feel special, but at the same time it makes you so fragile, so tiny and so self-conscious in a men-dominating world. Having to study in an all-girls secondary school, basically I am a nun for 5 years.

For these 2 years, I experienced the situation in the picture. Very intimidating indeed. I am the only girl in the Chemistry class, out of 7 students and a male teacher. Perhaps I was too self conscious, it builds up a tremendous pressure in me. Being surrounded guys who are generally better in all sort of things, make me feel timid and useless. I would constantly remind myself to stop the stupid thought. But it wouldn't go away. The thought haunted me for almost a year. Performing experiments alongside the guys, they speak Chemistry jargon like I never would understand.

Most of the time, I am not listening in Chemistry lessons, somehow I am just not attracted to particles and bonds anymore. On the verge of dropping the subject, his words of encouragement and gaze of kindness popped out on my mind. He would always come and ask 'how are you doing', giving compliments and advice. Deep down, I wouldn't wanna disappoint him.

Being a typical Asian as I said before, 'A' is something we pursue. The latest Glee episode suggested Mike Chang (drools thinking of Harry Shum Jr) scores an A- which his father says it is equivalent to F in Asia. Very true indeed. I wanted strings of A, I wanted to proof that I can. The egoistic me somehow cannot allow me to give up a subject that I have taken for 2 years

7 days to the flag off, and I am not even studying like crazy. I know what I want and what it takes to get there. But somehow, I am not doing it. I am afraid arrogance has taken over me, leaving lack of confidence and low self esteem in me. I wanted to wake up from these, not to waste any more time. But I can't seem to sit at the study table, looking at words, and write it up.

I would need to remind myself, this is the last thing I can do if I want to get out of here, to see the world, to experience the culture. I would need to shut myself from thinking. I would need to transform those fear into confidence and motivation. I would need to remember to ease my parents' burden. I would need to make the best out of remaining 6 days. I would need a perfect score to obtain a glory. I would need to remember my teachers' expectations and friends' supports, not to let them down.

Dear God, please bless and help me.

73636237,

Wenx

Easy Money, Tough Life

2011-10-06T12:00:00.001+08:00

I came across to the death if Apple founder, Steve Jobs just 10 minutes ago, he was only 56, died of battle to cancer.

It was very shocking, that the man who transformed the world tremendously, changed the way communication had previously worked and left so much technological impact to this modernised world.

56, not even the age of retirement. He set up the company in 1976, holding on to the principles of innovation and leadership, he was a success, a legend, a genius. But did all of these glories pay off? Did all of his effort allow him to get what he deserve?

I am not a technology savvy, nor am a person who know much about technology and business. But I do know the revolution of the iPad, iPhone, iMac, Macbook and iPod have changed this very generation. We no longer clutching thick books or laptops, all we do is surfing the net or reading through iPad. We no longer talk or communicate often, all we do is Facebook and Twitter or gaming with iPhones. We no longer hear the sound from the world, all we do is stuff our both ears with Beats headphones and listening to the mega playlist on iPods. Kids no longer holding soft toys and Grid Blyton story books because they have much better entertainment applications from iPad and iPhone.

I am very amazed and shocked by these changes and scenes I saw. Even so, a business opportunity came to me two days ago. Once again, I found myself in a dilemma and a sea of thoughts whether technology should be part of education. The answer is 'yes' but the old-thinking me kept denying the fact. Steve Jobs said: Innovation is what differentiate a leader and a follower. World-class leadership mentor, Robin Sharma said: Everyone is a leader and we need no title to lead. Now you see the contradiction.

I am encouraged to be part of the business, to earn what you call, easy money. Being raised in a middle-income family where I don't enjoy easy money and fast success, I am not much a risk taker, that explains why I am reluctant in approaching easy opportunity. Being a typical Chinese Malaysian, I am driven by competition, eager to success, strings of A's in certificates. Probably this is because I don't believe in risks, miracles, opportunities, I am definitely not a businesswoman material.

But what I am clutching on, is still a dream, a valid dream. I may not be a founder of a business company, knowing that I wouldn't have the guts to take risks and leadership to lead. I may not be the richest person or the rich lady with bungalows and sports car, knowing that rich isn't a good pathway after being in a rich culture for 2 years. But what I can be is a person who pursue my achievable dreams, learn from each success and failure, being inspired by each happenings, and discovered more about this world.

People are driven by unlimited wants, there is no end to what you can get in this world. You may call me stupid, but I thank God for allowing me to see through the evilness of greed and the power of satisfaction at this age. Steve Jobs might have had the time of his life through the success of Apple, what's the point of having a legacy if you can't enjoy it. I may miss out to an opportunity to investment and fortune, but I certainly wouldn't want my life to be just surrounded by money, money and money.

RIP Steve Jobs, your innovation had certainly paid off, the world can't thank you much for these lovely gadgets, it's a technological era which you have contributed your life, time and effort. Thank you.

Blogged from his inventions,
Wenx with iPad2 :)

When Grown Men Cry

2011-09-27T21:53:00.002+08:00

I have seen Forest Whitaker in various movies, pointing guns to the bad guys. I have admired Laurence Fishburne as Morpheus in 'The Matrix' being the leader of the superior team. I have been charmed by Hayden Christensen in 'Jumper' and 'Awake'. I have been amazed by the sexiness of the current James Bond, Daniel Craig. I have always like Genie in 'Aladdin', voiced by Robin Williams. I have also been scared by Blonsky in 'The Incredible Hulk' which Tim Roth becomes a monster.

But, I have not seen them cry.

I remembered looking at this photography article in StarTwo, probably two years ago. I remembered it was quite inspiring seeing real men cry. Men always give me the image of being strong, protecting their women with ego and pride. Somehow I have always wanted to be like them, to be as strong as men, to be better than men.

Of course. You would say. Well oh course I love this image. I have always been fond of Cristiano Ronaldo, no matter what he does/did.

It have been quite a difficult situation for me. I have read this Facebook status, saying 'crying isn't a sign of weakness, but a sign of staying strong for too long'. People do say, 'it is okay to cry, just let it out'. It ain't a solution, but a temporary remedy.

I faced a dilemma today, I think I already have the decision in mind, but I just need some assurance and support. Somehow, the egoistic me isn't asking for support and assistance. It is a decision that should be made since end of last year, it's not procrastination but stubbornness that held me for so long. I would say I am proud of myself but also I am weak for not continuing the journey. It has so many contradictions on each point, but a decision is still needed. I hope things will be clear soon.

The photography album above is called 'When Grown Men Cry'. What about 'When I cry', 'When You Cry', 'When We Cry'. Would people care like how they would search for the renowned masculine men?

Wenz

The Departure

2011-09-26T19:54:00.001+08:00

In these 2 months, I've been saying Goodbyes quite often. It's never easy saying the word. I think this is applicable to everyone, it's not easy recovering from farewell. Sucks to handle the fact that someone's leaving, it's something unavoidable and inevitable.

One and a half month ago, I had to handle the departure of one of my best pal, trials exams and piano Grade 8 exams. Last week, the end of college with collegemates. Today, an unexpected farewell from a not to say close friend but a significant one.

There are loads more I want to say, tonnes more I want to cry out. But time is not allowing me to do so. This break, a study break, probably is what I need to rejuvenate and recover.

Peeps, it is not my intention to write emotional posts but the more I watch 'Eat Pray Love' the movie, the more I can relate myself to the main character. Except I cannot just leave everything and travel to places.

Dear readers, I am okay. Probably books can be my best anaesthetic and time can be my best remedy. I am on a Facebook fast on weekdays and trying to shun myself from any possible communication.

If you have anything, you may email or text me.

Love,
Wens

In the Reign of The End

2011-09-21T21:42:00.002+08:00

How time flies, I have been in college for almost two years. Remembering when I delightedly accepted the scholarship, pursuing a course I never heard before. Now, I am on the verge of graduating, in the reign of the end. What is left are two days of non-studying and 6 days of final exams.

To be honest, I looked forward to the last day. Yes, it is indeed an upsetting news that there are friends you wouldn't hang out with. But, what matters more to me, is crossing the finishing line after almost two years of hard work, ending a road where it is winding all the way, and starting a new journey.

Perhaps it is really wrong in the very beginning, I have expected so much. I remembered spending time daydreaming life in a new school, embarking on a perfect college life, being friends with people all around the world, things not surrounding gossips and dramas. However, it all turns out the opposite. I blamed no one but be grateful to God, after all, this is a worthy scholarship, what else should I complain?

Two years, I have made some valuable friendships, I see different people from different parts of the world. I have to say the students' superior social status and financial background (yes, it's peer pressure) have made my life a bit harder. Not that I am jealous (oh well, a bit), but I was educated in a way that I learned to see faces and psychological aspect of different people. Perhaps I inherited my mom's genes, we read faces through gestures and mindsets. Not that I read minds and moods like the Twilight heartthrob does, but more to reading one's personality.

Probably in these two terms, I saw so many new things, you may call me observant =) From immaturity, poor leadership, backstabbing, alienation, emotional, racist, double-face agent, spoiled brat, to maturity, multi-talent, good follower, independent, decisive. The list goes on, I would say the bad exceeds the good. Don't get me wrong, I am not critising people, making me God-like, I am many of the bad qualities too. But sometimes it disappoints and annoys me much to see, yet I wouldn't make a voice to it.

Today, pretty much an emotional day. I wasn't, till I reached school and things triggered my bewildered mind. I saw more and more stuff today, not sure if it's stuff I want to see. I found out something as well, which upset me at first, but I felt relieved after being blindfolded for months. Yes, it's definitely feeling relieved and good. Come to think of it, I am stupid and narcissus to even think of that way.

Nevertheless, a cute lil 6 year old Spanish boy tried to console me in the bus, having a lovely chat about issues in the bus and a blossom red rose given by a birthday girl and a short nap, managed to put a smile on my face. Yes I am not doing any revisions for now, and probably not tomorrow, and on the mock up day. But I am feeling good and positive this way.

Thanks for reading till this far, it's quite a long and whiny one.

Love,

Wenx

September 11th.

2011-09-11T22:56:00.000+08:00

Ten years ago, I still vividly remembered my mom and me watching CNN breaking news when the World Trade Centre in New York City was attacked. Being a 9 year old naive girl, I don't think I find out on the very solemn day. The impact of this incident didn't hit me until recent years every September 11th.

Dubbed as the incident that changed the world, particularly US, the terrorists attack claimed 2977 lives excluding the hijackers. A mixture of reaction was seen for this saddening incident, some were on the US side, some blamed the US for causing and resulting the death of hundreds of thousands of middle eastern's civilians, some even don't give a sh*t about it.

Me being a person who is not keen on politics and wars, I can't really comment much on this. What really happened behind all those attacks and wars, do not matter much to me. But what really hurts to see is the loss of human nature through pursuing power and respective beliefs. What they cause in order to get what they want, is not just merely human sacrifices, but tears of pain, cries of grief, loss of innocent lives, and devastating states of demolitions.

I remembered I used to pray for world peace to God at night and during my birthday. Hoping for a better world and peace for us to live, the hope is still on, but as more explorations came, it dampens a little. Not that I have lost hope, but I changed my mind perspective as I grow. I learned about equilibrium in Economics and it inspires me about applying the theory in life philosophy. There can't be peace as bad and evil are always there to balance the nature of the world. There will always be rich and poor and both factors are counteracting each other.

On a personal side, I would say I am pretty much a Jekyll and Hyde. Yes I have something that I want really badly, and yes, to achieve that, I would do and I did horrible things (not horrible, but I am punished by the guilt and the pain that I couldn't tell anyone). Come to think of it, it made me no difference than attackers and pretty much everyone. On comparison, similarly all of us would do things, even if it's bad things, in order to achieve something, we would lose part of the human nature. Whereas the difference is the degree of evilness and how much human nature that you would sacrifice to achieve the want.

There are tonnes of wants among billions of people. To satisfy it all will always be a mission impossible. But one thing for sure, a self-control is the key. It's really difficult to control the wants, on crossing the line of human nature, it's just a thin line of boundary. When you realise you are wrong and you want to cross back the line, it's either too late or the line has become a thick concrete wall.

RIP to those who sacrificed on this day 10 years ago. Still finger-crossed for world peace and for human nature.

Love,

Wenz

The Kill, The Laugh, The Voice

2011-08-29T17:47:00.001+08:00

The moment you are hit by waves of realisation, you are so angry at yourself for making such stupid and silly mistake. The thing is the thought appeared on my mind: 'leave it here and you will lose it'. But you thought: 'nahh I won't. I'm smart enough not to lose it'.

Half an hour later, the jolt of awareness came to your mind. Oh sh*t, only to think that 'oh I should have listened to my thoughts'. It feels like my mind is teasing me 'I told you so'.

I feel lost, in myself, there's an alien in me. Who are you, who am I, blood is all I see. The alien voice in my head is talking to me all the time. I tried hard to reject, tried hard to fight, but....

I tried to be someone else, but nothing seemed to change. I know now, this is who I really am inside, finally find myself, fighting for a chance I know now, this is who I really am.

Mistakes have been done. It's the past. Redemption is to be done. It's the key to future. Sorry is invalid. Making a change is appropriate.

Love,
Wenx

That was never my Intention

2011-08-24T17:04:00.001+08:00

It was never my intention to humiliate you, you have no idea how much respect I have for you. It was never my intention to having argument, knowing that I can't voice it out spontaneously and couragely. It was never my intention to make things ended up this way, I was this close on finishing the week and the internal exams.

God has been kind to me for the week, but He never makes things easy. This is gonna pull me down, but on the verge of tears when you said (spat is a more accurate word) those cold words, I held my head up high and held your gaze firmly. I'm sorry, I said.

I am not sorry for doing it, but I am sorry that it had to happen and you were upset. 'Don't make this mistake again.' It was never a mistake, it was just when discussion turned ugly, mistake became misunderstanding, a stupid one.

It was ridicule that it wasn't your piercing words that made me cry, but a letter from my friend did. It made me felt honoured to have been a good friend. But with this happened, it upset me, for not being a good person.

I have no regrets at all, but I was never trained to be one with high self esteem. What you see from the outside, 'superwoman' my cute friends said to me, is just an acting that I was trained for long. Inside, I am vulnerable and fragile, but I will never let the weaker side of mine out, never.

Things will not be the same after today. I might not smile at you whenever you pass by. I can't just pretend things never happen, not only we had upset you, you had broken my self esteem when I needed it the most.

Wenx.

When This is It

2011-08-21T19:19:00.000+08:00

When times are hard, I would try to remember, there are much harder stuff in the world.

When relationships are cold, I would try to please and keep quiet, fight no more and care less.

When 12 units of 6 subjects are difficult to cope, I would remind myself, there are people doing 14-16 units of 7-8 subjects.

When there are complaints, I would try hard, to keep to myself.

When the arm muscles are hurting from practising scales, I would remind myself, I am done for good after tomorrow.

When love and support are gone, I would know, at least I am there for myself.

When the heart is not pumping, I would know, I have tried the best I could.

But, what if, I am so sick and tired of giving these excuses?

Yes, when you are so sick and tired, you would keep telling yourself, there are more people outside are suffering more than you.

It's All Human Nature

2011-08-18T17:45:00.003+08:00

When I am down, it's his voice, their music who accompanied the journey to comfort zone.

It might due to the pre-trials stress, I wasn't feeling well in school. Come to think of it, I felt a ridiculous thud of disappointment, it's not that I feel abandoned or left out. But it's the truth that 'people come to you when they need you, dump you when they are done'. It was like primary school all over again, how immature, how ironic. Furthermore, the thought that people taking what you have without even asking or informing, is even more hurtful, with the sharp wave of pain attacking my soul.

I approached the piano with touch of fierceness, wanting to bang on each note with hatred. I tried to immerse myself in the mountain of books, but my mind is can't stop thinking about my stupidity of being used. I should have known, it's just the rhythm of life, part of human nature.

Think no more. It's the upcoming week I should be worrying about. Play no more. It's time to focus. Say no more. I just want peace, the rest is all 'up to you'.

Wenx

A Terrible Approach, Right?

2011-08-14T21:07:00.003+08:00

The next 12 days, I can't really put it to words. It felt like it's a never-ending road, I know it's all gonna end in 81 days. But the level of pressure is peaking and the preparation isn't working as how as I want it to be. I have tried, but it's not good enough.

I came into a jolt of realization, in order to achieve something, you need to sacrifice something, an opportunity cost. No pain no gain, I might lose myself for achieving what I want. Looking at the definition of my course given by the urbandictionary.com.

One of the most gruelling of any type of exam, by any standard. Taken in Australia, in the final year of schooling, the HSC (Higher School Certificate) determines your ATAR (Australian Tertiary Admisstion Rank), or subsequently, your life. Those exams have caused countless teenage suicides, and mass depression in adolescents, which causes excessive drinking and debauchery, and consequently, suspension, lowering the opportunity to learn and succeed with this incredibly painful ordeal.

It's seem a bit over-exaggerated. Yes it is tough. The ATAR is what holding me. I consider myself as a very competitive person, a good rank is basically what I have been fighting for my life. I know what I want, I know which position I want to be in. It's a brutal and competitive world, I would say if you want to excel, a rank is very important.

HSC and the ATAR taught me many stuff, in terms of philosophical life. I've seen how people approach the concept of exams, ranks and life. I do respect other's point of views. ATAR might not be a rank that defines everything, but it will defines my life, my future in the university.

It would be really difficult to handle the departure of a really close friend of mine, the upcoming Grade 8 exams and HSC trials exam. It's a challenge that I must undergo, and a mission that God leaves me, and please allow me to gain inspirations from it. Fingers crossed, I thank you'all for your support.

I'LL BE ON A FACEBOOK FAST FOR THESE 12 DAYS. IF YOU NEED TO CONTACT ME, PLEASE EMAIL ME OR TEXT ME. THANK YOU.

Love,

Wenz

Counting down to 9 months later.

2011-08-14T20:40:00.003+08:00

It's been awhile since I last made a video, couldn't think of any better farewell gift other than a homemade video, I hope you like it, I know you do :)

I have always known you will be going to USA for tertiary education. But deep down, I wasn't really prepared to let you go, I can't imagine not hanging out with you at least once a month, and now, 9 months without you! It sounds like you are my boyfriend, but you are more than that! A hubby whom I love very much, a good friend whom I thankfully have. Recalled the moments of us having roars of laughter, moments of secret talks and gossips, the jumble of memories always put a smile on my face.

It was really a sad day, it really didn't hit me till the last 15 minutes that the sudden jolt of realization hit me 'SHE'S-LEAVING-IN-15-MINUTES'. With a pang of sadness, I was sobbing quietly, I really don't want you to see my tears, I don't want to make you cry. But I can't help it. Waved you goodbye, I walked to my car, even Tokio Hotel can't make me sing as usual. It was the hardest journey ever, knowing the journey signified for not seeing you for months.

I didn't know it would be this difficult, I thought I can hold back my tears, I thought I can not let you cry. I was wrong, it was the hardest goodbye ever. But, I was really happy for you, happy to see your dream come true, happy to see you going for a new chapter of life. I wish the best for you, as you always see the best in me. You gave me the energy to carry on the upcoming hellish 2 weeks. I wish you to have great fun in the States!

Update me whenever you can, the traditional email way would be great as I will be on a Facebook fast for two weeks. I will stay tune at your blog, as your loyal blog reader. P.S. I LOVE YOU. And you know I don't simply say those 3 words to anyone <3

XOXO,

Wenx

I am Magical.

2011-08-02T21:13:00.003+08:00

Isn't this the best thing a fan could ever ask for? Alongside with Harry Potter, I am now one of Pottermore. Long live, Harry Potter.

'You are magical'

I am magical.

We are magical.

But not everyone believes that.

Robin Sharma does. Currently reading this book by the world class leadership mentor. Though things he said are pretty much what I've already knew, but to frame it to words to match what is it in my head, Sharma did it in a way that his words of wisdom inspired me deeply. Allowing me to have a journey of fatherly talk with him through words, I know what to do, what to focus and how to walk the journey of life.

Love,

Wenz

It's never easy saying goodbye.

2011-07-16T10:57:00.006+08:00

21st July 2007, 6.54am. First day the book was released. Finished in two days.

17th Nov 2010, 11.30am. First day of the part one of the movie. Finished in 2 and 1/2 hours.

14th July 2011, 2.10pm. First day of the part two of the movie. Finished in 2 and 1/4 hours.

Harry Potter saga. Done? Now what?

Recalled how I start to like Harry Potter, it didn't start when I got my first Harry Potter book as a birthday gift from my parents. Well, they got me the Chamber of Secrets (second book), I have absolutely no knowledge about this famous wizard with a lightning bolt scar. As a ten year old kid, I was never drawn to words, not realising the power of words, how it heals and hurts, creates and destroys, charms and upsets.

Then the craze started when the Prisoner of Azkaban (third movie) came out. I started to fall in love, and then there it comes, in about three or four years, seven books I have collected and read. The Deathly Hallows (last movie) marks the first time of me dropping tears in the cinema. It was just emotionally-challenged, I knew what would happen, reading the book before watching the movie. I knew Snape will be dead, no doubt Alan Rickman (portrait by the peculiar yet ever-cool Alan Rickman) and director David Yates successfully captured the emotional moment that created the most touching scene I have ever seen after Titanic's Rose and Jack's romance. It was sad and difficult to see the saga coming to an end, realising there's no more to expect.

The last and arguably the best among all signifies the end of a decade, but it never dies in a fan's heart. Of 10 years of spells and charms, it does more than a childhood accompaniment. It transforms my childhood into a mix of magic and fantasy, helps me realising value and love. I don't care how technology savvy can a future child be in the future, with iPad and iPhone replacing Tom & Jerry and Barbie, I will introduce Harry Potter to their lives.

Love,

Wenx

19th, and more to come.

2011-07-10T21:20:00.003+08:00

Just few days before 8th of July, I was disturbed by the fact nothing felt right. Life's like plotting a graph and I was at the transitional period and it was a recession that had lasted for quite awhile. It all began when I was obsessed in achieving what I want, and when I fell, I fell hard on my face. The Singapore trip proved to be what I needed after a long battle, although it didn't turn out as good as I expected, it was what I deserved.

I have always liked the beach. It always gives me a touch of calm, a surge of excitement , and a jumble of memories. However, I looked beyond the sea, listened to the sounds of wave, clenched hard to the bicycle which I could not handle; on the verge of tears, I felt a twinge of sadness, a clench of regret and a ping of disappointment.

Coming back to reality had always brought me to thinkings and redemption. There were loads to be done, but none is started and completed. At times, I don't even know if my people-pleasing disease is back. A nice birthday dinner at Look Out Point was indeed lovely and surprising, overlooked at the night view of Kuala Lumpur, covered by the mist but still beautiful and calm. Surrounded by laughters and chatters, it was a cozy dinner with the close ones, and they brought me back to life.

I cancelled the original plan to celebrate on the official day, knowing that all I needed for the first day of the 19th year was to spend time alone, doing whatever I like and want. A nearly 2 hours window shopping trip to my second home, KLCC all by myself, proved to be a relaxing one. I enjoyed looking stuff I liked, visiting shops I loved, not worrying about other stuff. An one hour rest in Starbucks, reading my last book of the blockbuster series, Harry Potter. A brief lunch with a few close friends was an addition delighted touch on the day.

Tried the best macaroons in Harrods, bought two handbags for mother, had a beauty nap, a nice jog with the favourite band, Tokio Hotel plugged to my ears and applied a soothing mask. A simple dinner at Nando's with family was nice and lovely. The highlight of the day was watching The Sound of Music with the accompaniment of glasses of red wine. I enjoyed singing along with the catchy tunes, my family joined in too.

I had decided I didn't want to spend my day refreshing Facebook page and reading wishes. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate all the 157 friends who wished me through Facebook and Whatsapp , but I would wanna spend a better time to reply their wishes personally and sincerely, which I already did. Thank you once again, y'all know who you are. It was a lil disappointed for some who didn't wish, with the fact that they are on Facebook 24/7.

An extra note of appreciation to those who wished me through phone texts, I was really delighted and touched and sorry for not replying it instantly. I expressed my special gratitude to those who make it to the Thursday dinner. Once again, y'know who you are. Thank you for making it even though it was quite a last minute notice, and you babes had never failed to brighten my day for years. A lovely thank you to the *wink wink* bestie who gave me such a thoughtful and meaningful gift, it meant the world to me. A special thank you to my *wink wink* hubby who put in efforts for the 2 days and everything you have done. Thank you to my lovely family for the treat and love.

I thank God for granting me another birthday to celebrate and blessing me, that it was a joyful one. I thank Ronaldo (though he wouldn't care who I am) for his inspiration for a pre-university course. I thank all of you once again who had been part on the 19th birthday of mine.

19th and still counting. I am ready for more falls and more achievements, more sorrows and more happiness, more adventures and more discoveries, more inspirations and more changes.

XOXO,

Wen Xin

19th, and more to come.

2011-07-10T21:20:00.002+08:00

Tried the best macaroons in Harrods, bought two handbags for mother, had a beauty nap, a nice jog with the favourite band, Tokio Hotel and applied a soothing mask. A simple dinner at Nando's with family was nice and lovely. The highlight of the day was watching The Sound of Music with the accompaniment of glasses of red wine. I enjoyed singing along with the catchy tunes, my family joined in too.

19th and still counting. I am ready for more falls and more achievements, more sorrows and more happiness, more adventures and more discoveries, more inspirations and more changes.

XOXO,

Wen Xin

Be Careful What You Wish For.

2011-06-05T18:00:00.002+08:00

It had been awhile since I last picked up a book and enjoyed reading it. Reading through my long reading list, I decided it was time for some chic-lit moment. And there it went, 'Be Careful What You Wish For.

All of us do have wish, perhaps I should say wishes. And everyday, you are pushed or guided to strive your best, hoping one day you will reach the dreams, a day of wishes come true. But is the wish what you want? I came across Eminem's song, of the same title, and I found a good quote.

'So be careful what you wish for

Cause you just might get it

And if you get it then you just might not know
What to do wit' it, 'cause it might just
Come back on you ten-fold'

I wish for a planned life, so it would be exactly how I want it to be.

I wish for a fairytale relationship, so I would be able to experience a lovey-dovey moment.

I wish to be successful and rich, so I can enjoy all the glory and luxury.

I wish the world to be in peace and harmony, so people can live in joy and satisfaction.

I wish to watch a tennis Grand Slam final and football match in Old Trafford, just to experience how it is like to be one of spectators to be viewed by millions on TV.

I wish to date a celebrity, well, it's more to a fantasy.

I wish to have a fantastic and healthy body.

I WISH ALL MY WISHES TO COME TRUE.

But, but. The consequences lying along the journey of getting all the wants and needs, might be a bigger impact to you than the finale. You might risk losing a life, a friend, morality, happiness...

I know what I want, I know what I wish for. The inspirations like Li Na becoming the first Asian to win the French Open, 12 year old Youtuber playing sensational classical pieces, Cristiano Ronaldo achieving the PiChiChi award, high achievers gaining top academic honours, my idol purchasing cars and homes like how I buy food....

Inspirational people with incredible success, proves that dreams are achievable and nothing is impossible. And sometimes in order to get what you want, you just can't do what you want, at certain stage, you ought to do what it takes to win and make the best out of it.

Wishing,

Wenz

Adoring the Green Can

2011-05-27T22:07:00.002+08:00

Yes, the green can. On a lifeless Friday night, with a completely exhausted body and worn-out mind, I glanced at the coffee table, a green can with dripping water vapours caught my attention. With a half-closing pair of eyes, I decided to treat myself one.

Sipped, I wish the liquor can just make my worries disappear. I hope the boiling sensation in my stomach can make me sleep better without waking up at 5.30am in the morning. I am relying on the green can to make me feel better. Yes, it has been a bl--dy sh*tty week, maybe I am stressing myself out, perhaps I am not a person who can handle big responsibility or high position. Once again, this will give me a few days of thinking.

When a responsibility is given, you have no obligations but to perform your best. After the week, I might have overrated myself, considering I can manage a given task well. The truth is always hurtful, and the hopes I have given to myself are not reached, expectations are crushed. It's depressing and disappointing to see that happen, but it can be a motivation driving myself to the next challenge, with an improvised mindset.

Stress. When it over-controlled you, you are no longer yourself. What you risk losing is a life, what you might be gaining is the will to put up a good fight, to fight back the rights to have the control of your life. Stress is a manipulative life variable. When it's positive, it will push you to the limit, bring you the glory and taste of success. Oppositely, it might bring you down with the mental game, where you will never emerge as a winner.

Sipping the last mouth from the green can, the bitterness did not make the stress away, indicating that avoiding isn't a way to solve existing problems. I am not ready to face it nor to solve it but I know I am ready to work on changes.

Kisses to the magic green can,

Wenx

Have you ever?

2011-05-25T19:53:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt every breath you take, is a step to closer to pain? But you have no choice but to inhale?

Have you ever felt when listening to any song, you just want to let the tears out? But you have no choice but to hold back.

Have you ever felt that you no longer have the energy to stay strong, just wanna give up straight right away? But you have no choice but to stay strong even though your battery life is close to depletion.

Have you ever felt to mute yourself, so that you don't have to listen to any noise, any arguments, any piercing words?

Have you ever thought of shutting yourself from the real world, just to get a little more time for yourself, to breath and to think? But time ain't your good friend, mate.

Have you ever wondered what are you fighting for, why are you living for? But why there isn't an answer?

People often ask: How are you?

I answer: Yeah I am good, still surviving.

The truth: Well, you can't really say 'my life is screwed'.

ARGH,

Wenx

I've just got 'inception-ed'

2011-04-21T22:05:00.002+08:00

Months after this blockbuster thriller was released, I watched it, finally. And yes, I've just got 'inception-ed'! The manipulative plot managed to bring me for a high-flying and thriving roller coaster ride, the idea of planting an idea inside someone's brain using development of subconscious using dream within a dream was total genius, pure genius, true genius. I can't help myself but to bite my fingernails during the last 20 minutes, to see how levels of dreams being solved.

This movie did inspire me about something, of a reality issue, of dreams VS. reality. Some people will position themselves strategically in an imaginative fantasy where they seek for an escape from the polluted and corrupted reality.

The quote by Leonardo DiCaprio, 'You taught me how to use people's mind'. This line of thought got me contemplating, more generally, it's so applicable in our daily lives. I have been observing for quite some time, rereading my diary posts, there are a lot of mind games, ugly dramas and broken hearts. Those who know how to use the psychological method to master one person, the gamer will have a great advantage over the pleaser. It's like a possession, or rather just a cat-chasing-rat game.

'One word for you, stupid!'

Laughing out loud, my mom spat that right on my face. I was in denial, but deep inside, I truly know it was the truth. Between me and the gamer, I will always be the one being shadowed with the gamer getting all the limelight. It's not something I want to fight for, because it's not worth fighting for. But yet, the psychological pressure is so huge that it always become an overwhelming frustration and an admission of failure.

Oh well, I guess I have to use a different frame of mind, using psychology to learn mind-controlling and emotion self-defensing. Dreams and reality, too bad it's always have to involve making decisions between two tempting options. Sometimes in order to avoid the pigeons holes and pitfalls of the past in life, you just have to wake up from your dreams and face your reality. And sometimes you need to re-imagine a dream in order to make the reality come true. Ladies and gentlemen, do you want to live in an architecturally-built dreams or a harshly world?

Love,

Wenz

Black - The New Red Alert

2011-04-20T14:45:00.005+08:00

Friday has always been really interesting and captivating, yes it’s the last day of working or studying, a significant day as you make it through the week, heading to a much relaxing weekend so you can catch your breath and slow down for a while. And yet, recently, we are lucky enough to have a song to sing about Friday, to embrace the greatness of this wonderful day which brings us joy, even some of us, parties till late morning. Thanks to latest (oh well I think I am one month late to post this up) Youtube sensation, Rebecca Black.

What can I say about her? I shall start with the day I ‘discovered’ her. I overheard in my common room, the gang of friends were watching the infamous video, ‘Friday~ Friday~’, I watched for 10 seconds, a Demi Lovato look-alike with weird mouth was the lead singer. And funnily, I blindly asked, ‘Is she the female version of Justin Bieber?’

Dang, I was so right, for these three weeks, on every Friday night, my Facebook news feed will be flooded with ‘Friday~ Friday~ Partying~ Partying~’ statuses and ‘Rebecca Black – Friday (Official Music Video)’. To be honest, I’ve never clicked to watch that video, I am not interested and not wanting as I don’t think there is a need. I’ve read harsh comments about her and it did spark me up a bit to wanting to watch her video. But oh well, no thank you. I don’t need to see a 14-year-old kid as a laughing material.

Yes, the fact that she is 14 years old is scary. The society has becoming a criticizing one (or maybe all the while it has been like this) where people enjoy laughing at people’s act. Who care if she can’t sing, apparently according to my Facebook news feed 2 weeks ago, 30 million people did. Perhaps by now, the music video might gather 40 or even 50 million views.

The truth is, we are all flawed individuals with imperfections. Black may have been accused for sound pollution or for being horrendous disaster for the pop music industry. But the phenomenon of Black reflects the ugly side of human beings, for being disrespectful, for being foulmouthed, and cold-hearted. Information sharing is indeed vital in this digital era, and those videos are perfect as the topic of communication. But I doubt the meaning of this kind of communication, for the sake of keeping in touch, or the sake of catching up a hot trend, or just for the sake of laughing at other people.

Just like Bieber (I’ve posted something similarly to this about Bieber: http://wikolia-wens.blogspot.com/2010/05/bieber-fever.html ), I am defending Black because she is just another victim who has been globalised to be a public social enemy. And this leads to my italic question above, yes she is the female version of Bieber, not the fact of singing talent, but the fact of them being such a worldwide sensation.

This post is not intended to anyone, but I just hope this will give you a good think, is it appropriate or necessary to criticize her that way? Maybe my answer would be different if I’ve watched the full length video. But really, I have better things to do. If there aren’t so many outspoken people, this world would have been a better place.

Back to the picture, ‘where’s Friday’. It’s in 2 days time and it’s going to mark the closing end of my 2 weeks break. Oh well, 1 week holidays to be precise. Though this week has not been a productive study week but I do realize this break has allowed me to rest and to set up routines that I have to practice. With about 6 more months to finish the pre-university course, I have a lot more to fix and a lot more routines to adapt. With hope, I know I can.

Love,

Wenz

The Circuitous Path of Life

2011-04-14T22:55:00.002+08:00

I looked at my phone screen, it stated 2.14am, I forced myself back to sleep but my mind can’t stop thinking of home. Looked to the right through the window grill, why am I here? Why did I choose to be trapped in this place? I’ve become a stranger in a strange land, living with a bunch of unknowns for 5 days 4 nights. I starred at my reflection on a broken mirror, wondering ‘who am I’ and ‘what I am fighting for’. I’ve asked these 2 questions a lot of times recently. There isn’t an answer, yet. From this trip which is like a liberating vacation from the dreadful half yearly exams, what I’ve learned is more to a reinvention of a lost person who has been going at the wrong direction for a long time.

‘Akak, when going back?’

‘Thursday’

‘Friday cannot?’

‘I’ve school on Friday. You want me to stay?’

‘Yes, stay till Friday.’

Rebecca’s soft voice asked me several times every day, I’ve lost count of how many times. I can’t help myself to look into Sarah’s eyes, her huge eyes with super-curled lashes starred into my inner soul and it gave me a reason to smile.

‘Kak, why are you crying?’

I can’t help myself to break down on the second day, after knowing some of the kids’ backgrounds. I wondered, why are there parents like that, why make the kids suffer, why are they so irresponsible, why is God so cruel to them, why the kids become that violent and mad, why, why, and WHY?! Perhaps I was outta my mind because of PMS, the mild recovery for the exam which has drained out the energy and confidence in me, the killing loneliness, the unexpected call, the terrible homesick… Thank God there are family and friends who helped me through the second day and the kids who put back a smile on my face.

I accompanied Patricia to Brickfields to send Rebecca to kindergarten. Rebecca was smiling all the way, standing wobbly in the bus, holding Patricia’s hand while crossing the road, waiting for Patricia’s nod to walk into the kindergarten and running frantically to the door. Bringing books from the cupboard upstairs to the newly-sponsored bookshelves from the Kiwanis Club of Kuala Lumpur was a good workout. The kids were appreciative for accessing the resources during their free time. They are a bunch of intelligent and hardworking kids who just require a bit of pushing in life and guidance.

‘Do you hate your dad?’

‘No’

Elizabeth answered affirmatively and instantaneously. She shared me her personal stories and ambition. She cried at night when thinking about her grandfather who is critically sick. I got the chance to celebrate her brother’s birthday on 11^th April, they had KFC and a birthday cake, sponsored by a restaurant owner. They were laughing, talking in Tamil where I couldn’t obviously understand at all, they are in a big family, they are happy outside, but deep inside, are they?

How lucky we are to have a family to expect your arrival each day? How fortunate we are to have a home to go back, a nice bed to sleep on? How good our life is, if to compare with those kids? Why are we complaining each day? Based on my observations in life, some people are loaded with fortune, and they can waste their money on unnecessary stuff where those kids floundered helplessly on transport money and pocket money; they can waste their precious time on useless and meaningless things. There is a strong urge inside of me to give them one tight slap and a long philosophical speech. But come to think of it, why should I be bothered? Why wasting my time where I can focus on more deserving unfortunate lives?

‘Kak, write down the formula, I learn after I buy one’

I was holding my old Rubik’s Cube, which has become Luke’s cube. Disappointment is displayed on his face when his first cube is broken. He tore out the old Rubik’s Cube’ stickers and pasted on the Sudoku Cube with glue. He seemed so interested and determined to master the Rubik’s Cube since last evening. That’s something I used to have, I wondered why have I lost it.

‘Kak eaten already?’

It’s funny that I was there to serve my residential project, they are the ones who are serving me, taking good care of me and inspiring me. During my stay, I’ve seen rodents and more big fat disgusting lizards. But what scares me more are the fear of being scolded and beaten up, the need to use violence to protect themselves, the fact that they are fighting for a life, the hardship they have to suffer due to their backgrounds, the pain and sadness that they have endured for losing part of their life, the insecurity, the hardcore discipline…

I was eagerly anticipating the clock to strike 11am on the last day, bidding farewell to the adults, Patricia and Sarah. The other kids were in school, I didn’t have the chance to say a proper goodbye. But I know deeply in my heart, it ain’t goodbye, I will be back, when I have the chance. Sarah came out from the home and waved to me, the three-second exchange seemed insignificant, but I do know, I have made some changes in them and they have made even greater changes in me. God bless all of them.

Love,

Wenx

To King from Queen.

2011-02-04T18:10:00.002+08:00

Dear King,

5 years of secondary school life, it would not be a colourful one, if it wasn't with you, Hanani Azman.

A jovial girl who was the class monitor, leaded Melati to ultimate glory, took responsiblities to the fullest. I had great fun participating in Dikir Barat, being in the naughtiest and noisiest class, being under your wonderful leadership.

An awesome friend who is always there for her friends, for me. I truly thank her a lot or her love and care as she isn't afraid to show it off. Consistent 'likes' and comments are an encouragement from her for me to keep up my work. Her comments on this blog is one of the reason that this blog is surviving.

A scholarship recipient in IACT who is pursuing her studies in Mass Communication who shows passion and dedication to her dream. I wish her all the best and may successes will be with her from now and till the future.

A King who is crowned with the series of Narnia, and the fortunate me, as 'her' Queen. We are the King and Queen, nothing will change us. I am positive that our friendship will last. Because you never give up on things, never give up on me.

Happy Birthday my King.

May the 19th year bring you the courage to explore the adventures of life, the joy which brings you smiles and happiness, the determination when you encounter challenges and the love, to you from me.

Have a great one!

Love,

Queen.

Pre-CNY

2011-02-02T22:29:00.002+08:00

I spent a week before school reopen, baking Chinese New Year cookies as my annual practice. It has been the third year of baking CNY cookies, and yeah, I am pretty proud with my baking skills ;)

Baking whole week killed me off, the preparation of giant amount of ingredients, the heat of the microwave oven and built-in oven, the moulding part... It was just too much work to do, but thanks to my brothers who helped out and mother who washed all the equipments, I survived and the outcomes (5 different cookies) were all good =)

Chinese New Year, a time for relatives from all places to gather and to catch up; a time for us Chinese people to test the luck (gambling), a time for us to try something (alcohol!), a time for us (unmarried) to get angpaos ($$), a time for parents and relatives to talk about politics, a time for me to repeat my degree choice to the adults (Haha).

I am not really in a mood to celebrate CNY, it might be because of school works are piling up, there are plans to do, plans to follow, and most importantly, I have to discover myself again. But things are going pretty well at this moment =)

Chinese New Year. I wonder people are celebrating for the sake of doing it, for the sake of it is a traditional festival which is celebrated for centuries or you really mean it. But I am really grateful to have the 4 days break, at least it's a break. And for those who have a week off and still complaining, shut up!

Currently listening to Celine Dion's, her voice never fails to touch the inner me.

Happy Chinese New Year to all. May you are blessed with good health, luck and prosperity. To be realistic, not everyone will have a great year, there will be downs and falls. May your Rabbit year is the year you learn to change, be a better person and lead a better life. Gong Hei Fatt Choi =)

Love,

Wenx.

Idol Fever

2011-01-27T21:59:00.002+08:00

Knowing that I wouldn't have the mood to study, I shall blog. Was meant to blog about this last Thursday when it debuts it's first episode.

Yes, once again, every year, the new season of American Idol commences. And I never fail to catch it, you can say, I pretty much growing up watching Idol, but not cartoons, oh well, apart from Tom and Jerry!

Last season, when Idol shockingly announced that the 3 of the 4 judges were leaving the panel, including the much-beloved Simon Cowell, comments of 'American Idol would be so different without Cowell', 'Gah I don't have a reason to watch Idol anymore!' and 'Idol would be meaningless and boring to watch, not watching, hmph!' instantly filled Facebook's lives feed and a hot topic to talk about with friends.

New judges comprise of the talented Jennifer Lopez and rockstar legend Steven Tyler from Aerosmith, teamed up with Randy Jackson. They are the reason why we should continuing watching Idol. After 8 seasons of Cowell-Abdul-Jackson, 1 season with new Degenerous-Dioguardi, we certainly need a change to this 10 years old show. What do we expect from the outrageous vocalist Tyler and the multi-talented hot mom Lopez? It's something we need to watch.

Besides, Idol producer Simon Fuller certainly knows how to attract the audiences. With the impressive trailer on the first episode, multi changes as compared to the previous ones, star-studded judging panel. I am still and always an Idol fan. Furthermore, Idol has produced top singers like Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Chris Daughtry, Adam Lambert, David Cook and so on. Is there a reason why we stop watching the birth of the next superstar idol and his/her wonderful journey?

Most importantly, Idol is definitely an inspiration to me. The stories behind the contestants really touched my heart and are making me shedding tears. We often complain about how difficult and miserable life is, but not knowing we are so fortunate if compared to others. We can definitely lead a better life, but we are blinded by the will of seeking sympathy, wasting time, not putting effort and many other stupid excuses.

May God bless the girlfriend of the contestant just now, may good health and happiness are with you. And to your boyfriend aka no-name-contestant, I shall find out about your name soon. Thank you for your life experience, it really got me thinking, 'DESTINY', an interesting topic which I still couldn't figure out after so long.

Love,

Wenx

Many and Much, with Buts.

2011-01-23T11:29:00.004+08:00

I don't think I deserve an reward, but I decided to get Tokio Hotel's 'Best Of' Deluxe Edition, as a reward and motivation =)

Inspired by the starting of 2nd term of Year 12 tomorrow, I present you my 'manies' (plural for many) and 'muches' (plural for much).

So many stuffs on the to-do list, but time is not my best friend.
So much anger and frustrations in my head, but I can't scream it out.
So many things to buy, but I don't have the ability to find money yet.
So much thoughts in my mind, but I can't think properly.
So many dreams to achieve, but I don't have the confidence and ability yet.
So much fats in my body, but I can't shrug it off.
So many problems to worry, but the solutions are no where to be found.
So much love to give, but it is not the right moment yet.
So many questions on my head, but there are no right answers.
So much good music to explore, but I got only two ears.
So many responsibilities to carry out, but I am not committed enough.
So much crimes in this world, but I can't stop it all.
So many homeworks to do, but I keep on procrastinating.
So much tears everyday, but it never solve the problems.
So many movies and dramas, but I have missed.
So much falls for now, but this is life.
So many friends to concern, but they take it all and never give me back.
So much knowledges to pursue, but I can't know it all.
So many opportunities are offered, but I let it slip away.
So much efforts to put in, but where to start from?
So many disasters happening, but these are the punishments.
So much happiness I see, but pains are inevitable.
So many guys in the world, but it's hard to find the soulmate.
So much qualities I want from him, but I can't have it all.
So many issues I am interested, but I am learning bit by bit.
So much changes I have had, but there are more to come.
So many complaints I got, but I just can't shut up!
So much more to say, but I should stop before my readers run away!

Need many guidelines and much discipline to overcome the next 11 weeks. A bigger change ahead, a harder task awaiting, more fun to explore, a great challenge in the end, I hope I would be alive.

Love,

Wenx

Say, all you need to say.

2011-01-18T22:38:00.006+08:00

There is this one sentence, those 3 words, are always difficult for me to say. You might be reminded of Plain White T's 1234. 'There's only 1 thing, 2 do, 3 words, 4 you'. It's not that 3 letters. To even utter my 3 difficult words, it takes a huge courage from me. Sometimes, I would avoid a conversation or an argument, a comment or a post, a text or a call, because I can't say that word, it seems like the hardest word.

Yes, Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

The 3 words that I am refering to is 'I am sorry', it's the same anyway. Of course there is a reason behind why sorry is my hardest word. I used to apologise, like all the time. When I accidentally knocked someone on the street, when I blocked someone's path, when I broke promises, when I was not punctual, when I did something wrong, when I hurt someone with words, when I outburst during my foul mood, when I wrote a speech in someone's birthday card, etc.

Sooner or so, when I read a magazine article, saying about trying not to apologise so often. Then I tried to change the habit. But the main reason is due to my egoism, I don't want to apologise because I don't want it to be my fault, I don't want to be the loser, I don't want to be the people pleaser. Most importantly, I don't want to make mistakes.

You might say, human makes mistakes everyday and learn from them, so that it won't be repeated in the future. I agree with that statement, but I can't afford to make mistakes, I hate myself for doing mistakes. It's just, I am stubborn. And this explains why I hate to be late, there is a tremendous stress whenever I am late, but to date, I am still late to outings, I am changing this bad habit!

***

So, Sorry is the hardest word to me, what is/are the easiest word/words?

It will be revealed soon.

Love,

Wenz

Phoebe's =)

2011-01-17T22:02:00.003+08:00

16th of January, HAPPY BIRTHDAY

PHOEBE!

Thanks for the invite, as it symbolises 4 years of friendship still going on, after a year of different pathways, we are still staying togehter. And thanks to your parents, Kimberly and Marshal aka Stanley for the food, it was marvellous and I had great time =)

Just a little something to share with you ;)

The lady below.

Angela Montenegro, a fictional character in the series, Bones. The character is played by Michaela Conlin. This character reminds me a lot of you. She has a gorgeous smile, just like you; an amazing body, just like you; a passion for what she likes, just like you; most importantly, a great personality, just like you! Check her out, if you have the time.

Thank you for being such an amazing friend. You know I love you.

Love,

Wenz.

After all, it changes again.

2011-01-16T22:39:00.003+08:00

All the while, I thought my heart is strong, it is filled with thoughts, wonders and questions. Since last year, I have been searching for inspirations, to explore the world in a deeper level and to search my character and personality.

Before today, I stay strong with my POV (Point of Views) . I posted the daily inspirations on Facebook statuses or at times, seldom though, I blogged it. I was confident and proud with my POVs, until today. I discovered, I wasn't right. And to find it out, it takes courage, time and effort.

Today, a message came shockingly, and thank God things are all good. But one thing for sure, it changes my heart, not totally but a big part. It will give me a good think for days or weeks, and definitely change the way I think, the way I act and the way I live. You may wonder, 'why do you think things to be complicated'. My answer, because life is never simple.

You might don't understand this post. But this marks a significant change of my heart.

P.S. Phoebe, if you are reading this, your post will be next =)

Love,

Wenz

My facts, which you should know.

2011-01-13T12:28:00.005+08:00

Thoughts came randomly when I was watching teevo, driving on the road, using the internet, basically my life. Here goes the list of what I 'discover' in these 2 weeks.

Petrol station is the restaurant for cars. Shell would be a cheese burger because it is founded by a British transport company. Petronas would be a nasi lemak since it is local. Esso would be steak as it is owned by an USA company. I guess my family cars' prefer cheese burger :)
Females love football is the same as males love porn/strip shows (some). Because somehow there is the physical attraction of opposite sex triggers the excitement inside. Oh well, Cristiano Ronaldo does have a strong sex appeal to make me watch him all the time last time. But of course, it's not just his looks, but also the skills and the personality.
Humans feel insecure, that's why they have to be in a relationship or religion, or watching Star World's Monday Night Laugh like How I Met Your Mother to fill the emptiness in them. To fill the space in me, a person who loves and cares, God's words which guide and inspire or the character of Barney Stinson? I choose Barney, tell me who doesn't love him!
Saying 'I love you' to friends is so easy like ABC until it confuses me whether it's true or not. It's so frequent until it scares me, makes me wondering about friendship loves. If I were to say 'I love you', I must be really mean it.
People are narcisstic especially those who post 'I just shit' or 'Just woke up, good morning' constantly or daily on Facebook or Twitter. Posting random facts about yourselff occasionally is totally fine. But is there a need to tell the world you just fart or shit?
I don't need 1000 friends on Facebook when I am only keeping in touch with 50 of them, hating 450 of them and not knowing 500 of them.
Facebook is becoming a place to discover the truth, and it hurts finding out from there because it shows your friend prefers telling the world first before you. Especially if you thought he or she is a good close friend.
Good and evil, rich and poor, strong and weak, tall and short, fat and slim, they all exist for a reason, because there is something call the equalibrium point. If everyone is rich, who is there to lose money to the rich people? If everyone is strong, who do you compare to show that you are strong? If everyone is good, we don't need polices and lawyers.
The domination of males is still strong if you see the number of politicians in a country, the main characters in hollywood action movies and etc. Where do all the girls go, driving crazy at university or home trying to change the domination, screaming at and following Justin Bieber's world tour and being dominated by smarter/lovey-dovey guys. I am not critising the domination, but I feel it's weird. Yes I am sexist. But don't get me wrong, I love guys and I like Bieber!
Listen to Taylor Swift's songs, read Sophie Kinsella's novels, watch chic-lit movies like The Proposal, When in Rome, makes us, especially love-searching teens, believe in fairy tales, ever-lasting love and true soulmate. But is it true? Marriages end with divorces, families ruin with abuse, relationships end with break ups and hatreds. My answer, yes for some, not for all.
Lady Gaga is not just the Madonna in the 1980s, she is also the Michael Jackson. The trios who contribute so much to the music industry, will live forever.
Humans are contradicting themselves all the time. Michael Jackson wanted to be a white and has become one while he sang 'no matter if you're black or white'. But, I love the music video! For us students it will be... During school term, 'Haiz, I want holidays so badly!'. During school holidays, 'I miss school :( '
100% of you reading this have opinions on the 12 facts above, 80% of you won't voice it out. C'mon, be the 20%, tell me what you think. My facts could be wrong. Leave a message at the chatbox or facebook message me ;) Be the 50, or u prefer the 450, but please not the 500. You get what it means :)

P.S. The facts are just in general, randomly popped into my mind in my daily life when I see things. I don't aim at someone and I am not trying to offend anyone. My sincere apology if I offended you. Tell me, I think I can accept. Haha. Hope you enjoy this post, it might give you a good laugh, a deep thought, a heavy argument with me or a new confusion ;)

Love,

Wenx

Don't Say Goodbye. Don't Leave Me.

2011-01-11T22:32:00.003+08:00

You will know a guy is worth it when he offers you his hand through hardship and his shoulder through sadness. He can be the one, the one who fills the emptiness in you, shares the ups and downs with you, and makes your life an interesting one. It is amazing, when you are totally hopeless, the saviour just appears right in front of you.

There was a tale in December, all the while I didn't know it's you. Now that you are gone, other than stalking you on Facebook, there is nothing else I can do anymore. Dear readers, it sounds like I am in love, but I can assure you I am not. It is just it is really inspiring during that time, the lyrics just come to me in 10 minutes, so I combine it with the song which is written for quite some time. Officially wrote on last Friday which was a significant day to this song, recorded on last Saturday in Yamaha Music Centre.

Last night I had insomia, perhaps it was the aftermath of posting the song. I put my iPod on the playlist. And it goes 'Watch You Go' by Jordin Sparks, 'What About Now' by Daughtry, 'Goodbye' by Miley Cyrus, 'The First One' by Boys Like Girls and 'Whataya Want From Me' by Adam Lambert. Cannot take it no more, shut it and go to bed forcefully.

For those who know, keep it to yourself. For those who don't know, don't ask, it's better to keep it that way. Thank you for the likes and comments, it really means a lot to me.

Love,
Wenz

Grenade? I Dare You.

2011-01-08T21:44:00.005+08:00

I am currently addicted to this song. It is catchy and an emotional song. But I do not understand, does someone really can catch a grenade, throw your hand on a blade, jump in front of a train and do anything for someone? I know it's just hyperbole and the use of metaphore. But to sacrifice for love? Worthy? Even your life?

I trust you heard about the death of Alviss Kong. They call him great, I call him stupid. Sorry to say. I was inpsired by his death, and posted this on Facebook on December 10, 2010.

Sacrifice for life, but not love. Love with sincerity, but not desperation. Live for yourself, but not him or her. Die with pride, but not stupidity.

Those who die for love, drugs, stupidity do not earn my respect and do not deserve my tears. Although I admire the courage of commiting suicide, I can't imagine how devastated it is for a person to choose this never-ending path, but still, it is a human life that we are dealing with.

Appreciate life and live your life. Make it bright and loud. Make it YOUR life.

Love,

Wenx

Inspired. Refreshed. Reflective.

2011-01-08T20:49:00.003+08:00

There is one moment, perhaps the only moment, which I feel totally relaxed. When I am in the gym, working out =)

I feel inspired everytime I sit beside the glass door which reflects heat at the member lounge, viewing Suria KLCC's main entrance and Jalan Ampang's traffic, sipping hot coffee and write a post in my diary.

I feel refreshed everytime I finish the 1 hour group exercise session, where a group of enthusiastic people battling with weights or jumping while catching some breaths, and end with a group clapping.

I am reflective everytime I meditate in the sauna room and the steam room when I see no one as I close my eyes, concentrating on my plans, problems or memories.

I want my body to be healthy and slim, my mind to be bright and positive. And I look up to the fantastic women below. I feel like a pervert or a lesbo while googling the pictures, but oh well, they are my inspirations!

Eva Longoria and Cameron Diaz for their well-toned arms.

Megan Fox and Jessica Alba for their smooth-muscled back.

Nicole Scherzinger for her slim waist.
Su Min, remember we used to call her Zinger Burger? Hahaha.

Shakira for her hard-core abs!
I used to look up upon Gwen Stefani's, but dang, no way to six packs!

Gisele Bundchen and Mirander Kerr aka Mrs Orlando Bloom's long stretchy legs.

Thanks to Mom's Fitness First club membership, I get to enjoy weekends free gym usage. You might wonder 'why her arms still so flabby?', 'damn look at her spare tyres!', 'her legs are like elephants' legs!'. For me, working out is not to look like those women (partially yes, haha), but mainly, I want to be healthy, plus to look good in clothes.

I don't crave to have buffed-up arm muscles. I don't need a sexy back. I don't hope for 22-inches waist (Actually I do). I don't work out for six packs abs. I don't dream for leggy supermodel legs (I cant, my height!). But what I know I can achieve is a healthy lifestyle and slim body with sufficient exercises, and balanced diet.

And you can! Come join me at Fitness First every Saturday and Sunday for free, only for first timer. It would be great, working out together, free flow drinks at the member lounge and a walk at KLCC after that ;) Contact me if interested, anyone, close friends or not-so-close friends, just be my gym mate for a day :)

Love,

Wenx

Guide me, will you?

2011-01-05T21:26:00.004+08:00

A trip to Genting on the 15th of December, for the very first time, I watched a movie in the cinema alone. The choice of movie: Narnia. Never been a fan of Narnia, never would.

But as I was seeking inspirations as usual, the movie actually taught me something.

Defeat the darkness in you,

before exploring the darkness of the world.

There's a darkness in me, or should I say, darknesses. I suppose everyone has.

Yes, discipline. I am not discipline enough. It is something that I struggled since two years ago. I was way so disciplined during my PMR year, sort of like my glorious year which I would never forget.

This 2011, a crucial year, the path to the future. I need to discipline myself, very much. Updated a list of resolutions for the year, to achieve the numbers are not an easy task. But I seriously have to, must discipline myself for the focuses.

Love,

Wenx

Biddin' Farewell to 2010.

2010-12-31T12:10:00.000+08:00

A year is going to pass in about 12 hours. People says time flies. Personally I don't think time flies in a blink of an eye, the ups and downs in a year are definitely a roller-coaster ride, filled with events, smiles, tears, successes, falls. Most importantly, changes and growths.

To me, 2010 is definitely a change. Change in study environment, personality and life. This post is a summary of 2010, enjoy.

No doubt, this is the most significant one. A two-year scholarship to study in an international school which I would never thought of going (never knew it existed too!). Although New South Wales Higher School Certificate (HSC) is a longer course, but what matters to me is the process of studying. The international curriculum, is a difficult one to adapt. But it all paid off when I became prefect and the Dux of Year 11 which came totally unexpected. Furthermore, a trip to Penang and Langkawi with schoolmates is a bonus, not to mention, it's free of charge ;)

HSC's English as Second Language (ESL)'s area of study focuses on 'Belonging', while year 11 focused on 'Journey'. Both themes imply to my situation as a newcomer in this foreign environment in Australian International School Malaysia (AISM). My ESL teacher Mr T said in order to feel belonged in a group, one must forfeit something. I cannot agree more, because I am reluctant to give up my focus and to be involved in high school dramas, I don't really feel belonged. But this earns me peace that I have craved for long.

With my very first visit to Gold Class cinema watching Twlight Saga: Eclipse and a grand birthday dinner, my 18th birthday was a blast. Thanks to this bunch of girls, family, Negar and those who wish. People says 'I feel old during birthday'. I hate that statement, birthday is a blessing. Even though it does not have to be a great celebration, at least, feel grateful.

2010 is definitely remarkable when it comes to this. 5 concerts in 1 year. 3 concerts in July, a crazy month indeed. Not to mention, all 5 are free of charge! As a die-hard fan of Tokio Hotel, 50 minutes of showcase is a satisfaction, though I chose concert over International Award Practice Camp :P A win to Usher's concert is an early birthday present :) Another win to Jason Derulo's showcase plus a Meet & Greet session pass are a major bonus. Not to mention I met JD in person and hugged him for a second! MTV World Stage is the main bomb, having to see Tokio Hotel again and Katy Perry performed, if I survived World Stage, I can survive any concert! The last one would be Paramore, a treat from Jelica, rockzone!

The previous 17 years of my life, I NEVER camp before. For a person who never been to a camp, I went 4 camps this year! That is not really much, but it is a great achievement to me. Back to Nature camp at Awana Genting is a lucky win, slept in longhouse, abseiling, buffet-styled meals, flying fox, trek, winning team.... International Award Kayaking Camp, the real camp. Horrible campsite during monsoon season, the heat, a visit to Orang Asli village, 83km in 4 days 3 nights. And I survived. Although being looked down by a comrade, but it motivates me, I will never give up! AGC's Church Camp, it's not for me, but it is insipiring. Kiwanis Youth Camp, the great deal. Escorted by Emergency Unit, had fire rescue and water rescue, rappelling...

Nothing to say about success. Failures! First driving test, Grade 8 piano, handling problems. But it's part of growth isn't it.

Oh yeahh I worked for a week! My first part time job! And the pay was pretty =)

Oh yeahh LOVE. Oh well, no love but crushes. It has been pretty fun having crushes. Like mom said, observe first and have fun ;)

Goodbye awesome 2010. Hello great 2011!

Resolutions. Done!

2010-12-29T17:15:00.004+08:00

I did not blog for almost 2 months, busy occupied with work is an excuse, the power of Facebook is overcoming Blog is a fact, lack of blogging desire is a contributing factor.

But my blogging urge is back, and I hope it continues =)

As the end of the year is approaching, as a yearly tradition, I reviewed my resolutions which I made a year ago and throughout the year.

An AWESOME 2010! ✓
AGC Youth Church Camp [1112-1412] ✓
Back to Nature Trip @ Awana [0708 - 0808] ✓
Cake Marathon [0210] ✓
Excel in academic [1012] ✓

Exercise regularly and consistently [FAILED]
I certainly did go to gym quite often, but not regularly; involved in school sports, but not actively; workout and exercise at home, but not consistently.

Excursion @ Sunway Lagoon [2804] ✓
Face problems with optimism and rational ✓
First Part Time Job [0410 - 1010] ✓
First Paycheck [2910] ✓
Food Marathon @ Klang [0607] ✓
Get my driving license [0503] ✓
Hair Straightener [0408] ✓
Happy 18th Birthday [0807 & 1007] ✓
Ice-skating [3006] ✓
International Award Camp [2011 - 2311] ✓
International Award Practice Camp [0105] ✓
Jason Derulo Album [3007] ✓
Jason Derulo Showcase [2107] ✓
Kayaking ✓
Kiwanis Youth Camp [1712-2012] ✓
Learn to play violin ✓

Lose weight [FAILED]
Obviously a fail, and I gained weight. Fullstop, need not any more elaboration. Haha.

Meet Greet Hug Jason Derulo [2107] ✓
MTV World Stage 2010 [3107] ✓
Music Showcase [1509] ✓

Pass Grade 8 Practical Piano [FAILED-2908]
This is sort of expectable but I did wish for a miracle. Only have 6 months to prepare plus lack of contributed effort from me myself, I am not upset with the failure.

Paramore LIVE in KL [1910] ✓

Read 18 novels [FAILED]
Achieved a total of 14.

Senior Production [2306] ✓
Straight 1A's in SPM [1103] ✓
Study hard & smart ✓
Tokio Hotel Concert [0105] ✓

Upgrade my piano skills [FAILED]
Obviously a fail. BUT I did try produce some videos and compose some songs =)

Usher Live in KL [0707] ✓
Year 11 Trip [1608-2008] ✓

So, 5 fails. I am satisfied and no doubt, 2010 is an awesome and incredible year =)

Narcissism.

2010-10-22T22:26:00.003+08:00

After all, we are just a bunch of online narcissists, who are searching the belonging of identity in the cyberspace.

That's my latest facebook status, inspired by CLEO's article. I couldn't agree more after reading the article, only to realise, how much our society's mindset is shaped through the existence of social networking sites nowadays.

The study of the level of narcissism said:

Facebook provides an ideal setting for narcissists to monitor their looks, permitting them to thrive on shallow relationship while shunning genuine warmth and empathy.
Those who spend their time updating their profile on the site are more likely to be narcissists or suffer from low self esteem
The study is defined as a “ a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for administration, and an exaggerated sense of self- importance.”
From the gender prospective ,men displayed more self – promotional content in the ‘about me’ and notes section, whereas women demonstrated more self- promotional in the main photo section.
Those who scored higher on the test checked their facebook more often each day than those who did not.

Interesting facts aren't they?

The statuses I post are mostly inspired by observed happenings in daily life, daily complex emotions and inspirational people or things. I just don't agree on posting up private details, random and normal happenings, lovey-dovey wall posts, whining complaints, sympathy and attention seeking statuses.

Using Facebook is like staring at yourself in an online mirror. Statuses that you post, games that you play, profile informations that are available, pages that you like, those self-taken photos of you, all of those reflect your personality. And somehow, it is interesting, or rather annoying to see people post up stuff that makes me wanna click the red X button at the top right button.

Source:
http://indiascanner.com/people-operating-facebook-have-low-self-assurance-and-admiration-for-themselves-14391reas

Though how much I want to deny this, I just couldn't lie to myself to admit that, I am one of them, I am a narcissist. But, not a huge one.

Love,

Wenx

It's all about Glam.

2010-10-03T23:20:00.005+08:00

What do I love about Adam Lambert?

What is there not to love? He was already outstandingly flamboyant in American Idol with his crazy arrangements of song choices and high octave vocals. He is no doubt one of the greatest Idol contestants although he lost his crown to Kris Allen. He is not afraid to be himself, to tell the world about his sexuality and not being embarassed about it. That is really inspiring because he leads his life with eloquence and honesty. He dares to be different although it is controversial and might not be accepted by the public. Most importantly, he promises to be there for the fans' entertainment and he never let the fans down with his awesome rock music.

Why you should win the exclusive tickets from DiGi?

Because I am a loyal DiGi user since 2004 when I first awarded a handphone after scoring straight A's in UPSR. I have never changed or lost the number ever since 6 years ago. Till now I still love the number, and of course DiGi as my telecommunication supplier. Digi had given me a chance to see All American Rejects for free last October, and I hope I will have the chance again from DiGi too see Adam Lambert's Glam Nation Tour. Because I want to be part of the glittery glamorous concert which I know will be awesome with such flamboyant entertainer.

*

I remembered blogging about 'I Dare to Dream' in June about admiring Adam Lambert as a truly inspiring entertainer.
Link: http://wikolia-wens.blogspot.com/2010/06/i-dare-to-dream.html

Partially thanks to Adam Lambert, I am inspired to compose piano songs melody and produce videos for fun and leisure. 'Whataya Want From Me' is my forth video and I am dedicating it to Adam Lambert as one of my inspiration source. The video is a remix of an acapella version and my piano melody. Although the aftermath of the remix does not really work, but I am satisfied because it's my first time remixing :)

FYI, this is a contest blogpost for Adam Lambert's concert contest by DiGi.

For more information, please visit:

http://digi.nuffnang.com.my/2010/09/29/win-tickets-to-adam-lambert-glam-nation-tour-live-in-malaysia-2010/

Love,

Wen Xin

Testing 1 2 3

2010-09-16T20:37:00.001+08:00

Hallo people, I know it has been awhile since my last update. I just cannot seem to find the time to update though I got the blogging materials and loads of things to whine.

Year 11 is going to end by next Friday with exams, seriously cannot wait for the 2 weeks break. There are loads to plan, tonnes to do, and a messy life to fix.

Yesterday was musical showcase, I was fortunate to perform in a string ensemble, playing violin after 6 months of learning. Though my part was just some simple chords, but it was a lil scary to perform as a unskilled learner. But overall, I was really inspired after watching other performances, to realise so many talented people doing impressive stuff.

But Malaysia day, which is today, have been really very unproductive and uninspiring. It started with an Adam Lambert dream, I hope it comes true though. But at the moment I opened my eyes, things were awful and I wasted my day watching teevo and using the internet.

Oh well, not regretting a thing here :P Okay, shall end here, see y'all soon. Y'all? Do I even have readers after the Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr's domination?

Getting back up.

2010-08-28T22:58:00.003+08:00

Picture taken on 22nd August 2009, 5.10pm.

As posted as my Facebook status: A failure came knocking my door today. Yes, I failed my Grade 8 piano practical exam with 93 marks, 7 to go to pass. I am not upset, not mad, not disappointed. I kind of expected it, although was hoping some miracle to happen. Regarding to the failure, a few parties to be blamed including me and a few solid reasons to explain it. But, after all, I thank God for failing me this time, as I learned the lesson and gained the experience. Now I know, what to do for the next attempt. Thank Jeremy Kimber, the examiner, for failing me. *not sarcasm!*

Failure happens all the time in our life. Yes, it is surely depressing at times, think of the time, effort and sometimes money that you have given out. But what matters, is the process of failing that makes you get back up and shape you to be a better person. Yes, it is painful, sleep with teary eyes, become moody till there's hormone imbalance, lifeless with no direction and aim, and so on. But so what, sometimes it is just sad that you allow failure to conquer and control you, knowing that you should get over it and aim for the next success with a stronger and smarter you.

No fail, no success; no pain, no gain. I vow not to waste time anymore and start to deal with life. Pals, I hope you can face failures whole-heartedly with optimism and never give up. Fight for your life and be the winner.

Love,

Wenz

MTV World Stage 2010

2010-08-06T13:43:00.004+08:00

With continuous luck and loads of winnings, the month of July had been the craziest in 2010 by far. It began with going to Usher's Live in KL, winning Eclipse limited edition merchandises, celebrating birthday with Gold Class movie experience and a bunch of girlfriends, going Jason Derulo's showcase, meet and greet him, winning his album and at last, the highly-anticipated MTV World Stage Live in Malaysia 2010!

The crowd is covered with disposable ponchos during the heavy downpour. I think I can spot the umbrella I was holding, the tiny silver one at the middle. Though it was raining cats and dogs, the crowd's enthusiasm was still at a high level.

Local band, Bunkface was the first act. And they rocked the crowd with their popular catchy hits in both Malay and English. They have certainly made Malaysians proud. No doubt they are one of the best bands in Malaysia, Imma getting addicted to their songs now :)

Next, we have the gorgeous quintet from Korea, Wondergirls. Seriously, even with their big hit Nobody, I wasn't captivated by them. But after watching them live, these hot girls can dance. Their singing still doesn't appeal to me. But I was entertained really well by their nice outfits, sexy dances and catchy tunes.

They were the reason why I wanna go to World Stage so badly. After attending their concert in May, it's just almost impossible for a Tokio Hotel fan to not attend World Stage. The German rock band thrilled the 15000 fans after a long hour of wait. The boys shocked me with props from their European concert tour, thought I would never have a chance to see. The song choices were almost similar with the one in May, except 2 or 3 new songs and a few new elements into the performances. Overall, it was great to see them twice in 3 months. But it was just sad they didn't perform my favourite song, Alien. But still, I love them!

Alas, with a titbit of energy level left in me, I almost give up on continue the concert after hours of standing and dehydration, Katy Perry rocked the house! Though I wouldn't wanna admit this, but it was true that she owned the night! Dressed in a ballerina costume, fans were not excited to see it. But the stage set up was great with candyland as the theme. She sang a few of her new and old songs. And she thrilled us with guitar performances, both acoustic and electric guitars. She is no doubt, a great performer and entertainer!

The concert left me half dead and I cannot walk straight after that. It even landed me a week of being sick. There was even a point I felt like I am done with concerts. But no! World Stage is definitely worth it and I am not done with concerts. LOL.

But for these 2 months, I am gonna stop the craziness and head for a recovery, both physically and mentally. Not to mention, finals is around the corner. But, I am really excited for the getaway next week :)

Love,

Wenz

Crazy Frenzy.

2010-07-27T12:46:00.006+08:00

For almost a month or so, concert goers, inlcuding me, have been spending endless hours on MTV website and organisers' website/facebook, tryna win the money-cant-buy passes to the highly-aniticipated MTV World Stage.

After countless attempts of spotting Junior and Bee on MTV website, which I failed and gave up. I tried other organisers' contest. Thank God, I won KLue magazine's contest with high pride. Because I won it with Tokio Hotel's help.

Challenge: Love Katy Perry, Tokio Hotel, Wonder Girls or Bunkface? Show us how devoted you are to music act via photos, illustrations, poem, etc - whatever it takes to catch our attention.

My Entry. Read it if interested. I am considered really lucky for this, as people are really dying for the exclusive passes. I participated on the last day, found out the contest on the last day, there are 3 different challenges for 20 pairs of passes, I suppose the competition is high and tight. But ya, thankfully, my effort isn't wasted and here comes MTV World Stage 2010!

I am really looking forward to this World Stage, to be part of the second consecutive World Stage that is going to be held in Malaysia. But it is just sad to see fans are just being too crazy, too extreme, too stupid.

The facebook of Xpax has become a trading place of sellers and buyers. People are taking the moeny-cant-buy condition as an advantage, sell it with a high price to those unfortunate one who wants to be part of the 15000 fans who are going to rock on this Saturday. But is it worth the fan's craziness for a glimpse of their idol? Perhaps it is a yes. There are people who actually bought 32 Tokio Hotel albums for 3 meet and greet passes who entitle them only 1 minute close up with the band.I would never do that. Other than cannot afford to, it is definitely not worthy.

People these day are really crazy and being fanatic for their idols, until I can say, they lost themselves living in the world of idol fantasy, waste their hard-earned money, precious time, hard effort, and many more.

Me myself is an example.

1st July - 16th July, I had mentally travelled to 15 countries around the world, getting 15 different puzzle pieces and participated in a Tokio Hotel worldwide contest, Humanoid Scavenger Hunt. The contest was really driving me and many die-hard fans to locate the puzzle pieces in different countries fansites with unreadable language. This is crazy I can say, to win 1 of the 15 prizes that are offered among hundred thousands or even millions of fans. But what I am impressed are co-operations of all fansites around the world, unity of fans giving hints each day and the international level of fans pariticipations.

Tadaa~ The 15 puzzle pieces!
I am deifinitely not going to win it, but being part of it, I am glad and not regretting it.

Call me crazy? There are more people are even crazier. I am just being crazy in a normal way and I wouldn't let my craziness affect what I am fighting for my studies, future and life now :)

Love,

Wenz

Starstruck.

2010-07-23T21:11:00.005+08:00

It was like I have striked on some lucky charm, I won passes to Jason Derulo's showcase, made it as my second in this month, with a third one coming up in 7 days!

Once again, same as Usher, I am not a big fan, not even a normal fan, but just merely try my luck for the contest. Unexpectedly, I got it :)

Attending this showcase marked my very first time visiting a club. With my legal age now, I still not officially allowed for clubbing yet, oh dang another 3 years. But being able to experience it for a while, I am all satisfied :)

The place I stood wasn't really a good view, due to my height and being late. But somehow, I still enjoy standing concert which gives me the mood and the atmosphere to rock and to dance along with the crowd who goes crazy with Jason's well-toned body, professionally coordinated dance moves, unique vocals and charming personality.

This is what I wrote on my previous blogpost:
I was too engrossed in finishing this book until I miss a few calls, one of it is a pretty important as it is an once-a-lifetime golden opportunity. Oh well, I am really nervous yet exciting about, will reveal it soon :)

Attending a concert is not really an once-a-lifetime-golden opportunity, but THIS is, continue reading :)

I wrote this to AstroHitz:
I would like to meet Jason Derulo in person because I want him to be the first celebrity that I can get close with and the moment will be the most memorable one.

Winning the passes is already a surprised gift, but having the chance to meet and greet is certainly not beyond my expectation.

So, this is my experience and feelings:

With the media crew yelling 'HitzTV winners', I rushed to the front alongside 4 other winners. Then, our group was the first and I was the first to go in. It was a small backstage room, the air-conditioning is cold. Jason is wearing his leather jacket, looking extremely macho and big-sized in it, just like those athletics.

He dranked a cup of water and turned around to see us. 2 fan girls standing on the edge squeled, I was too shocked to utter a word and scream. Jason said HI, and came near us, squeezed to the centre, wide arms around five of us, but sadly, did not reach me. A few shots were taken, we were rushed out by the media crew.

I was the last to shake his hand, my tiny hand on his large palm, it was warm :) Deep inside of me, I know this is not the meet and greet session that I want. I took a deep breath. Can I have a hug, I said. Of course he would not refuse. 'Sure' he murmured. I was already hugging him, with my left side of my face lying on his chest, touching his silver studded leather jacket. I can feel one of his arms was on my right shoulder back. His body is really well-built and macho. Oh gosh, it was definitely a memorable moment, as I stated in the slogan.

Yes it was just a short one second hug, but that marked the climax of the day. 'The show was really awesome' I said after the hug. 'Oh Thanks Ya Sweetie...' This totally made my day, there was a big grin on my face when I slept and I could not stop thinking about him. The media crew shoo-ed me out, maybe it is actually forbidden to hug him :P But, I don't care.

Meeting a talented celebrity like Jason is such a golden opportunity and a privilege, I will not let it be, just like that. Haha. One of my moto of life is 'go crazy while you are young'. Because we might not be having these chances to party crazily and attending concert energetically after some time. So, enjoy your life with controlled entertainment, and work hard on achieving a good study path at the same time.

This is what I have to learn and apply for my life now.

I'm caught in a Love Hangover,

Wenz.

Life and Death.

2010-07-19T14:29:00.005+08:00

As the movie, Eclispe did focus a few scenes on her, it was interesting to find out about this

newborn's life and death.

I read this book at Kinokuniya in about 110 minutes on Friday last week. I was too engrossed in finishing this book until I miss a few calls, one of it is a pretty important as it is an once-a-lifetime golden opportunity. Oh well, I am really nervous yet exciting about, will reveal it soon :) Back to Bree Tanner, after reading this book, I finally know what had happened to her. It was kinda dramatic, fun, romantic and sad to read.

'Do you want a burger?' The way she changed to a vampire is funny. Oh well, wouldn't reveal it, not gonna spoil the surprise.

Jodelle Ferland.

She is the 16 years old girl who plays Bree Tanner. Googled for her pictures, it was frightening as she acted in some horror movie, gosh I couldn't look at her.

There are so many questions and wonders in my head about Life and Death. How to lead a good life? How will my future life be? How should I improve? How does death feels like? Is it painful when I heave the last breath? Is there an after-life? Reborn? Whatever I did in this life will just be gone? How many years can I live?

I have a whole long lifetime to find out. Perhaps it is better to not find out the answer, because what matters, is enjoying the current life and expect the unexpecteds. Life is so much more fun when you do not know what will happen next. Lead a healthy, fun, excellent life, while you can. Oh well, you always can.

Love,

Wenz

I am Usher-ed.

2010-07-15T22:39:00.003+08:00

Yes, I might be updating blog quite frequent since I got the blogging material lately. I found my passion of blogging back and hopefully, I can find my life back :)

Oh yes, I won 2 tickets to see Usher live in Kuala Lumpur on 7th July. I tried my luck on the Galaxie Magazine website, just for fun. I've never win anything big before. Perhaps it was my birthday luck, I got a call from them on the Sunday, I missed the first call actually. Lucky me though, he called again. Finding the company was a disappointing part, but thank God, I found someone who gladly I knew, had enjoyed the concert.

The view wasn't that bad, though Usher was tiny. But I was all satisfied, ain't complaining as it was free and it was a great way to finish the last day of being seventeen :) I should not complain these days because I know there are more people who are less unfortunate than me.

Back to Usher, I am not a die-hard fan, not even a fan of his. I cannot even remember I participated in the contest until he called and cannot even recall what I wrote for the slogan. But perhaps God want Usher to inspire me. His dance moves were great, well-coordinated, slinky and smooth, sexy and flirty. It worthed the guys' attention and the girls' screaming. Not to forget I was not feeling well on that day and lost my voice the next day.

A souvenir for the concert. I certainly enjoyed his one and a half hour concert. The crowd was great, loads of screaming, Usher was charming and no doubt, a world-class entertainer, the King of R&B. I am glad I am part of his first-time-in-Malaysia. You ROCK, Usher :)

I dreamt about him this morning. Michelle, you are in it too (let's see if you are my blog reader). I was in a workshop with him and he was giving away MTV World Stage passes. It is a hint isn't it? I need the passes! *Fingers-crossed*

Oh ya, I remembered. I wrote something like this to win the tickets.

I want to see Usher live in Kuala Lumpur because I want to experience this music legend as my first concert and make it a memorable night.

P.S. Oh yeah? First concert? So..not. Usher is probably my fifth though. HAHA. Beautiful lie isn't it?

Love,

Wenz

Hair Evolution.

2010-07-14T16:25:00.008+08:00

A Haircut! After 6 months.

Love the frenzy curls, too bad it only lasts until my shower.

Throughout this 6 months, people asking me questions about my hair. I sighed and answered with my well-trained speeches because I have answered for only-God-will-know-how-many-times.

Why did you chop your hair?

Because I wanna have a change after 5 years of long hair and cure my serious dandruff problem.

Did you perm or curl your hair?
No, never, it is natural curl.

Do you wanna go rebonding again? I reckon you should, you look nicer with straight hair.
No. Somehow I like the natural curl, though I used to hate it.

Ya, I like my curls somehow, after not accepting for years. Perhaps because I have learned that natural is still the best look, rather than those fake stuff =)

I would try dreadlocks and cornrow someday! Watch me!

Love,

Wenz

Inspiration. Where?

2010-07-13T21:49:00.003+08:00

For 1 month or so, I've been craving for inspirations and motivations.

'Come on Wenz!' I tell myself through the mirror.

'Fix your life!' A voice inside my head tells me.

And yet, wasted the holidays and time.

I've turned 18 recently, but I don't feel 18.

Definitely not emo-ing now.

Just wondering, how to fix my life, fix myself.

More updates to come!

Loving my TokioHotel-inspired layout?

Hopefully yes :)

Leben?

Wenz

As the time passes, tick tock..

2010-06-17T22:27:00.003+08:00

They say, time is precious, life is short. You cannot afford to miss a single moment of your life. But no matter how hard I encourage myself to do something, I just cannot seem to find the momentum to kick start my work. Bad news are it will be a gruesome Production week and a totally unprepared piano practical exam the following week after next to deal with. Good news? July is here soon =)

As you can see, my June month is revolving around these. Not much, but these, are enough to take my breath away. Yes, still pretty much addicted to Tokio Hotel. The hottest topic of 2010, World Cup, but I am not that crazy about it. MTV World Stage which features TH, which I had about 5 tries to win the passes since yesterday noon. And sites like facebook, youtube, not to mention, blogger.

The bold words are pretty much my life now. I am not under depression, not moody, not down, not upset. The phrase 'Cheer up' does not really applicable to me. It is just I need motivation, the force to start the momentum (mass x velocity), I certainly have the mass (fatness), but where's my velocity?

I seriously cannot wait for the 3 weeks of holiday. But I have the feeling that, I might waste it, again :P

FML,

Fixing my life,

Wenz

I dare. To dream.

2010-06-04T21:20:00.000+08:00

DARE TO DREAM

It was a great theme for ARGS 39th International Understanding Day.

As it was actually inspiring to me, and it inspires this post.

Let's get back to the typical definition introduction. Dream can be defined in two ways. Dream is the success of images, thoughts, or emotions, passing through the mind during sleep or a vision voluntarily indulged in while awake; daydream; reverie. Dream is an aspiration; goal; aim.

The dream can be in any form, let it be pursuing a career, have a good life, travel around the world, be famous, have a skill that impress people and so on. But so far as what I observe, people dare to dream, but dare not pursue. Some even dare not dream, due to fear and restrictions. That is just so sad, because life is all about YOU pursuing YOUR dream.

Dare to dream but dare not pursue, your dream is just a dream, not a dream that will have a slight chance to come true.

I dream to be a famous performer. Yes I dare to dream, but not going to pursue it because I certainly don't have the talent, the guts, most importantly, the showmanship! Those performers can perform in front of hundreds or thousands of crowd, millions of television viewers worldwide. Whereas I don't even have the guts to perform a presentation in front of 20 people that I know. Yes I was glad that my 40 minutes of persentation was over, but I wasn't please with the outcome, lack of showmanship!

In my cubicle (room!), I've dream to be a powerful vocalist like Adam Lambert, to reach those unbelievable notes, to play guitar like Tom Kaulitz, to fool around with drums like Gustav and to play the piano well like Lady Gaga. Yes, I've been spending a lil of my time to watch live performances at YouTube and I am very amazed by them as a great performer on stage as they bring the audience what they want to see. Something different and unexpected all the time.

You might wonder, lost? Not again?! Yes I am lost, not emotionally this time, but academically and physically. Studies have been left out far behind, I am not working out and leading a healthy life. But I know I am going to find back the momentum, it's just the matter of when and how.

Dreaming,

Wenz

Bieber Fever.

2010-05-20T21:13:00.003+08:00

I often heard:

'I hate that kid!'

'He cannot sing!'

'He's gay!'

'He's just a boy!'

'He sounds like a girl!'

'Damn it's Justin Bieber!'

I shaked my head when I heard or saw all those comments. Why people are acting so cruel to him? Is it because of the fact that he is only 16? The late Michael Jackson starts his career when he was five! Is it because he sounds like a girl? It is fact that he hasn't reach the age of puberty. Bill Kaulitz sounds like a girl for the songs in their first album about 5-7 years ago when he was 15, the late MJ sounds like a girl too in 'I'll be there'.

For now, I don't have any reason to critise him as a singer, an artist, a celebrity, a teenager. No doubt teen girls will fall for his charming smile, his hair-flipping, his catchy tunes, his dance moves, his hip-hop style, but his songs aren't bad, and he got the talent. If he cannot sing, you can? We can? It's not easy to live as a celebrity, to attend those events daily with hectic schedule, to worry about popularity, to perform perfectly everytime. I just don't understand why people don't appreciate his effort and just decide to hate him because apparently they think this KID is too young to be idolised and is trying to be a dude. That's ~~bullshit~~.

It's not that I am a Bieber fan, it is true that I downloaded all his songs in school for my brother during IPT period. I dislike him at first glance, critising 'all the girls in his music videos are taller than him!'. But on second thought, I learnt to see things in a different perspective, I choose to see the better side of things. Why choose to live in a world full of hatred and sin? Why wasting time hate this and that while you can fill love and happiness for yourself in so many meaningful way? Why making your life revolves around other people when it is your life? Why being so eager to compete, to fight, to win while you can enjoy life?

I believe

Two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.

Liebe.

Wenz

Awake.

2010-05-14T21:51:00.008+08:00

When you fall, you will get back up, in your way.

When I fall, I try get back up, searching back myself and get back my focus, in my way.

My way is like isolation, alienation, and self-review.

It does not mean like locking up myself in a room, avoid any contact or communication.

Yes it is kind of less socialising (oh well, I am an anti-social type of person also) and uses time to heal the mixed emotions of lost, confusion, sadness, dissappointment, anger, etc.

I was addicted to Facebook, log on almost every 5 minutes when I am online-ing and frequently check the status updates. For two weeks till today, I restrained myself from visiting the social networking site, in order to find back myself. Self-discipline and self-control, I've learnt.

Shopping! Is never a crime for females. With the annual mid-year Mega Sale is coming, or actually is already here, I am prepared to shop for what I need. I perfectly know what I want.

~~Shorts~~

~~Flip flops~~

Swimsuits

Stilettos
Jeggings
Bags

Sneakers

And the list goes on and on :)

Studies! As mid year exams had just passed, I am kinda relax now. Well, was relaxing throughout the week, thanks to flexible timetable and the preparation wasn't hectic, maybe I learn to take it in a rather easy way, and surprisingly, it worked and I wish the grades would be satisfying. But I've also know consistent revision is needed, gotta work on it then. Oh ya thanks to the dark chocs :) and those wishes (you know who you are :] )

Friendship, I was pretty uncertain about this for the past weeks. A quote from a forwarded email:
I BELIEVE
THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE FRIENDS IF
WE UNDERSTAND THAT FRIENDS CHANGE.
which I find, true. Perhaps the treatment I get will never be the same as before, and probably will not getting better, but I do still believe, and will never give up. But I know, I will be tired of trying. When it is the fate to finish, I will get the hint and move on. *Smile*

I am pretty sure Facebook homepage is full of the news of the newly-crowned Barclays EPL champions of 2009/2010 this past Sunday. To me, blue does not seems nice on the trophy :P I google-imaged for a picture of Chelsea winning the trophy for 5 minutes, still failed, if not mistaken, the picture above was from 2006. Though disappointed as ManUtd cannot win for a 4th straight title and overcome Liverpool as the most cup holders, but it does not affect me that much, perhaps it is the fact that Cristiano Ronaldo wasn't there anymore, I am no longer an avid fan of football, but I still catch the news!

Novels! I set myself a target of reading 18 novels for year 2010. For now, 6 is down, 7 is half-done. Maybe it is too hard to achieve 18, with studies and packed activities, but I will try, hope I can. The bunch of untouched novels that bought for ages must be finished by this year!

MUSIC! Most of you will agree on this, music plays a vital part in our life. Songs with so many different genres, with so many talented singers, performers, producers, musicians, songwriters.. Music is an important entertainment in our life. My playlist has been revolving around Tokio Hotel's songs for about 2 months, I am still addicting to 1000 Mere, Rette Mich & Spring Nicht. And I started on composing their sheet musics and currently working on a song, might be giving up half way, haha! But most importantly, my Grade 8 practical! With about a month away, many aspects are not covered at all, and my progress has been really 'adagio' (slow), damn I gotta 'allegretto-lise' (faster-lise) myself on the pieces, scales, oral, sight-read.. God bless me, please.

Watched this today. Wasn't attract to it at first, but it turned out to be good. An inspiring and touching thriller, the first movie collaboration from Singapore and Malaysia. It was heart-wrenching, mentally-torturing, physically-abusing, electrifying and exhilarating at most of the scenes. Thumbs up, of course you don't compare it to the Hollywood's productions with advanced technology and over-budget. But the movie offers great acting and valuable lessons and inspirations for me :) Bravo!

Awake,

Wenz.

2010-05-09T11:06:00.002+08:00

Have been a week or so, I have kind of feeling demotivated and uninspired. Disappointment stays beyond me as people seems cold, ignorance towards me like I never exist, never bother to bother me. Sadness is there when I see friends in pain, the pain of love. Anger is boiling within me when I see the irresponsibility of inconsiderate people. Sarcastic amazement is felt when I see how competitive and desperate people are, not knowing what is called 'satisfaction' and how fortunate we are actually. Tiredness is always here, as I constantly fight off these feelings, wanting to get back some optimism. Self-discipline, self control, self-motivating are required to build back myself.

Went Youtube to watch some Tokio Hotel videos, perhaps for now, they are my only source of inspiration I've got. I think it works :) Exams next week, I feel relax, haven't start studying actually, being unproductive for the entire week. But I am kind of positive about that :D

Somehow I wish I am not one of those typical female driver, you know what I mean. Failed the first driving test, banged the car the first time I drove after getting license, made some incredulous turns with great force, engine died at the middle of the junction.. All of these are making me LMAO. Maybe I am just a reckless driver or an inpatient one, or an over-confident one. Engines and me, somehow cannot be connected. That's why, Physics is not my subject, it used to be mine :(

I want to drive officially, to go wherever I want. I can redeem my Tokio Hotel tickets at Petaling Jaya, I can go Fitness First Plant A Tree Campaign at Kepong, I can go Klang for Bak Kut Teh, I can go Sunway Pyramid for Ice-Skating, I can fetch Charissa around in July, I can do so many things. Hopefully the time is here soon.

Liebe,

Wenz

When the boys ROCK my night..

2010-05-04T21:58:00.011+08:00

I do feel guilty for skipping half the practice camp, missing the 2 hours hiking and the overnight session. But deep inside, I clearly know if I do not skip, I will regret for my entire whole life. I never thought to go for a concert for free again after All American Rejects last October. But thank God, a rock band was once again brought to Malaysia and I got to go :)

The golden ticket. Thanks to Aadini & WeyYin for it :)
Aadini who was willing to give me, as a facebook stranger to her.

WeyYin who gave me an extra for memory and she was so persistent, making me to go :)

The autograph session, pictured grabbed from Everyone Connect.
Although can see them at a close distance, but I do not regret for not going for their autograph.
It was a great blessing that I can go camp and concert on the same day.

The band. Aww I miss them.

The Kaulitz twins. They are perfectly beautiful, this is a bad sign, I am falling for them.

The interview session.

The 3 hours waiting session.
'It's raining today, the blinds are shut, always the same'

My view with a lil zoom. Blame me height, I got difficulty to see. BUT I managed to sneak here and there :)

I think I spotted SuMin's hand and Charlotte at second row!

Pop Shuvit, again for the opening act.
Once again, I enjoyed Mara Bahaya, the only their song I knew.

Bunkface, again. I prefer his hairstyle last year. But they kept us entertained with strong hits like 'Through the Window' and 'Prom Queen'. Great job guys, once again proved that local bands aren't bad.

The long anticipated one. They kicked off with Noise, the crowd clearly gone crazy with female fans screamed with high-pitched voice, camera flashes and jumping along the rock music. It was crazy as people kept pushing, I was being pushed towards the front, till 5th row, and lastly 2nd row. How amazing!

The energetic frontman, Bill Kaulitz who sang about 11-12 songs, interacting with fans, running for sides to sides. Good vocals, but I wish the volume is greater, it will be much better for the rocking mood.

Oh my.. I am melting..

Tom Kaulitz the guitarist! Oh oh TOMM :)

Grabbed from Facebook.

An awesome shot of him!

My Georg Listing shot!

Georg the bassist and Gustav the drummer. I particular like this band's bass and drums which is significant in their electro pop rock songs.

WeyYin. I suppose this is the shot that you are talking about.

Would be better if the mic stand aren't there.

My shot of the band. OMR. They rock!

Bill impressed us with his vocals, brought the fans to frenzy with their hits!
I was surprised I was the only one who sang Forever Now along, clearly others didn't know!

Haha, my current ringtone!

Tom with the guitar. Popular with girls who fall for his charm and style (me! over here!).

Georg Listing the bassist. I was amazed by his hair! It's just oohlala sexy! HAHA!

How sad there isn't any picture of Gustav :(

The Meet & Greet session. Charlotte is in the first picture! There are people hugging Tom and Bill. Yes although I am jealous, but having a chance to see their concert, I am satisfied already.

And the boys will be back for MTV event.

I proudly announce, I am PROUD to be one of the fans of German Tokio Hotel who revel in the rain for them. It was absolutely worth it and no regrets.

For now, I am still damn addicted to their songs, perhaps can say, MORE addicted. I cannot believe I actually shedded tears when I heard 'Rette Mich'. Although I don't understand what does it mean at first, but the mood of the song suited my mood for now. Thanks TOKIO HOTEL for a great night and inspirational songs.

Song titles jumble up time! The bold ones were the songs performed :)

Hey You! Yes, I am talking to you, Desiree. Yes I know you are Screamin' at the top of your lungs, wanting a Breakaway. As Human Connect to Human, there will be cold people who just seems to use you to satisfy their wants or needs. They seem Automatic, to ignore you like you do not exist, whatever you did for them just seems nothing, not even bother to reply, to thank or to apologise. I can feel The Pain of Love, the pain of loving someone so much, and yet getting a harsh payback. Tears are flowing down like monsoon season, quiet sobs are accompanying you to sleep, even affecting your study mood. But so what? Yes it hurts, perhaps it's time to let go. Move on and never give up on what you want, the journey of life is never meant to crush you, but to build your own unique identity and a stronger you. So Ready Set Go, act like Dogs Unleashed, and just go for what you want by listening to your heart. I believe in this, I believe that as long I go for what I want, I can see the World Behind My Wall and it will be beautiful. Make some Noise, brightened your life and make your journey an interesting one.

P.S. Though I am banning myself from Facebook, but blogging is an exemption. But don't think I will have blogging materials till next Friday, half yearly exams!

Rette Mich,
Wenz

The soulmates. The inspirations.

2010-04-30T18:20:00.004+08:00

It was raining drizzly this morning, which is unsual but usual because of the unpredictable weather nowadays. With one side of my ear plugged, listening to Tokio Hotel's, I looked outside the window, to see droplets of rainwater, Tokio Hotel filled my mind at the moment. But one natural phenomenon captured my attention, the rainbow! It was a big semicircle of the 7 colours. As if God is trying to tell me, today will be a great day and tomorrow's concert will be the best concert I will have, to date :)

The video of this amazing boy inspired me deeply. A 13 year old boy who dressed in punk rock style, singing in a competition confidently with a nice voice and accompanied by cheeky moves. What I feel is his passion, his confidence, his determination and his handsome-ness (LOL).

You might critise his style, which you think it is overdone.

You might dislike his body, which is super skinny like a stick.

You might get annoyed by his hair, which is outrageous and over-edgy.

You might doubt his sexuality, which you say he is gay, but he is NOT.

Who are us, to judge somebody, who you do not know.

You might never heard of him and his band.

Yes, I am talking about BILL KAULITZ & TOKIO HOTEL!

Yes, him, the lead singer from Tokio Hotel.
No doubt he is overdressed, one of those typical guyliners, feminine in a beautiful way, but you cannot deny the fact that he is talented as he composes songs, translated all their German songs to English version for international market. And most importantly, he does not afraid to show his true side, going for what he wants, and does not care how people critise as long as it is harmless.

'I won't let anyone stand between me and my brother.'

'I can't - we can't - live without each other. We are always together. We are like one person and like soul mates. We don't have to talk.'

Yes, he is talking about his identical twin brother, TOM KAULITZ!

Yes, at the first glance, I like him more than Bill. But why decides to like one of them, when you can like both of them? HAHA! Dress in hip hop style with extra large tops and baggy shorts, cool hairstyles like dreadlocks and cornrows, with caps which he reportedly had a luggage of caps during tour, flawless features and manly looks, he clearly is a heartthrob =)

'When I look at Bill I know instantly what he thinks. I can feel it when he has a problem, even if he is not with me. I cannot imagine that I could ever trust a girl like I trust Bill.'

'I couldn't live without Bill. We do everything together, we tell each other everything, we are inseparable.'

'The best birthday present I ever got was 10 minutes after I was born.'

The Kaulitz twins had numerous controversial pictures, but it is true that all of it are nice to see, as you can see how strong their bond is. And they are insanely and inhumanly beautiful with flawless features and great fashion sense. From the quotes, it can be proved that they love each other a lot, that is not what I can do. A soulmate is not easy to find, let it be friends or relationships, it is difficult to find somebody to understand you. But you know, you are there to change your own life, the power is all on your hands, what you get is what you deserve, regarding to the effort that you put and the right attitude to carry on.

You might say that I am once again obsessed. (The last obsession would be Cristiano Ronaldo, but I still like Ron, OMR) But those people that I like, not just depending on looks but also the personality, the passion, the effort and the attitude that they have.

Thanks BILL for the inspiration on my life and the ESL presentation.

Thanks the KAULITZ twins for the inspiration on love.

Thanks TOKIO HOTEL for the wonderful Humanoid album which I am addicted to.

Thanks SUMIN for sharing such a great band.

Thanks WEYYIN & AADINI for the tickets.

Thanks WEYYIN again for making me go for the concert.

Thanks NEGAR for borrowing the album.

Thanks MALAYSIAN TODAY, which I won my tickets from but did not redeem.

Ich Liebe Dich,

Wenz

When the world comes down.

2010-04-28T20:53:00.000+08:00

When the world comes down, we move along.

But how do we move along in a world that you barely exist or you are suffering?

Suffocating as the air you breath is not sufficient.

Whining as all the frustrations keep rushing on you.

Sobbing as the world is no longer has a place for you.

At first, yes, an emo post this should be. But perhaps now will not be emo.

But with anger and frustration. But first, a tribute to Sir Wayne Wagner.

If it wasn't you, who selected my Cristiano Ronaldo essay in my scholarship application, I will not be in AISM. If it wasn't you, who be part in the interview and might be the one who cast a vote for me, I will not have a chance to study in an international school. If it wasn't you, who wants me to do Chemistry, I will not discover that Chemistry can be so fun and cool. If it wasn't you, the journey of life would be less interesting than now.

Thank You and may you rest in peace, Mr.Wagner.

The tribute last Tuesday really touched my heart and made me shed tears. I am a very emotional person, when it comes to looking at people crying or listening to people sobbing, it makes me wanna cry along with them.

A couple of issues appeared on my mind recently.

I don't understand why people don't appreciate your great effort for doing thing or a thoughtful act for them. I don't expect gifts or cards or over-exaggerate expressions, just a simple 'Thank You', is it hard?

I don't understand why people choose love over life. Perhaps I do not know what love is, but making other people as your centre of life, for now, I call it stupid.

I don't understand why people just crush your hope when you need support. It is hard to keep fighting to stay strong, but disappointed to see some close ones are not at your side.

There are more to say but I should not be blogging now actually.

I am not emo at all, just wondering. Thanks to Jann, I realised what I need now. This is the word that I've been looking for since 2008, Form Four. This is the attitude I need to carry on and gain true satisfactory and honourable success. This is what I need to work on to gain it back. This is what I need to move on my life.

DISCIPLINE

Love,

Wenz

Back to business.

2010-04-18T21:20:00.004+08:00

16 days of holidays. You can say it is short, and also long.

It is enough for me, it is productive in entertainment way, unproductive in academic way.

I planned to post 16 pictures for each day, but I think it will be a bore.

Chose 10 significant ones, to summarise my 16 days.

4th - 5th April.

Annual Genting trip with family
Enjoy the breeze and an escape from the city.

6th April.

A rest day at home, my first bake since Chinese New Year.

Just a simple Chocolate Chips Cookies, it does not taste like Famous Amos's, but it is delicious enough when the chocolate chips melt in your mouth :P

7th April.

Yes finally. Watched this with Fiona and Negar.

This thriller is bit slow moving but I like the theme of it, Life and Death.

Inspires me somehow, I got emotional when watching this *tears*

8th April.

Reunion outing with Ley, Cass, SooYee and YunSun.

Miss those sweet moments together XOXO

9th April.

A last minute visit to ARGS Sports Day.
I dress in purple top, purple flats, purple bracelet and purple scarf.

Obviously it wasn't good enough to please someone *as if I care*

10th April.

A sweet dinner with the beloved gang.

Cass Maya Angie Joanne Michelle Phoebe Roxanne.
A nice and simple catch up dinner @ TGIF, Wangsa Walk.
Oohlala, my purse is featured there too, lols.

13th April.

My first cake since only-God-knows-when. I've been baking cookies, tarts, brownies and muffins last year till now, but not cakes.
Although the icing is way too sweet, but my first icing cake, Honey Chocolate Fudge is a success :)

14th April.

While mom was doing her haircut, I wandered around Pavilion and met Ley.
Aha, spot us at TopMan changing room :)
Had a nice lunch at TGIF (again... but :] )

16th April.

Another catch up outing with Tyng and Ming.

Watched When In Rome and dined at Sakae Sushi.
The movie was funny but I don't really like it.

18th April.

Captured before I blog this. This picture explains 4 facts.

ONE

'Thanks' to a fall in Topshop, my phone sustained an 'injury', there is something wrong with the screen, but others are SURPRISINGLY functioning well.

Time for a change, hopefully yes but maybe not.

Gotta survey some phones, iPhone, SE's Elm, Nokia's X3, so far these 3 capture my attention, but a survey of more phones is still needed.

TWO

Spot my new phone deco, the heels, got it for free at MiniToons :) Matches me as a shoeaholic :)

THREE

My leftover reminder proves that I am unproductive academically this holiday. That two are the ones I didn't touch during this break :(

FOUR

My playlist, TOKIO HOTEL. I've been addicted to their Humanoid album for about a month long. Their music truly inspires me and brings me back to life, yes I was moody for a day or two :(

School is reopening in Tuesday and I am not prepared, but my mind obviously was preparing for it, I dreamt about returning to school, and it was awkward.

Shall prepare myself tomorrow, physically and mentally.

Next post: A tribute to Sir W.

Love,

Wenz

SHOEaholic, I am.

2010-04-12T12:08:00.006+08:00

Yes, you've heard shopaholic, chocoholic, cleanaholic, alcoholic, workaholic, foodaholic.

-aholic is a suffix added to a word to show addiction or obsession.

Yes I love fashion.

Call me a fashionista? NO, I am not qualified.

Call me a trendsetter? NO, I don't have the influential power and the cash to be one.

Call me a fashion researcher? This is my first 'research'.

Call me a fashion blogger? Not qualified also.

Call me a fashion victim? No, I am not materialistic.

Call me a fashion lover? Sounds good :)

Throughout my 'googling' about shoes last night, I came across 20 types of women shoes.

*Drum rolls* Let's start, shall we?

My favourite combination of all.

Wedges is a bomb since last year and I am glad I owned strappy wedges and gladiator wedges. Wedges proves to be a comfy wear and a good beginner to wear heels.
With Hollywood celebrities like Fergie and Victoria Beckham wearing God-knows-how-many-inches-high stilettos, stilettos is a big hit too. I owned 4 inches high stilettos and my feel hurts after half an hour of wearing them. I salute those celebrities.

Sandals, a casual wear. Kate Moss started the gladiator trend, gladiator sandals are easily spotted on the street nowadays. I owned a purple sandals, and I'm loving it :)

Flats time.
Loafters and Moccasins seem like the same to me *dislike* Now I know, my leather school shoe is a mocassins! Haha. Mom's favourite type of shoes though, Hush Puppies *Eww*
Ballet flats look good on women feet, girly and simple. But it hurts everytime I wear it, wrong size and perhaps, not my type.
Saddle shoes/oxford shoes, look like golf shoes and guys shoes. Perhaps it is modified from those two ways.

The comfy combination!
Sports shoes accompany me to gym and jogging. An expensive branded one is proven to me worth it.
The Nike-Addidas sneakers is probably guys sneakers, but it looks cool on girls :)
The Converse sneakers is by far the best sneakers, but Imma fan of Everlast :P I do not have one yet, and shall be getting one, waiting for the sale :)
My favourite, slip on! To date, I've owned 4 slip ons, currently thinking how to decorate my latest plain black Everlast slip on.

Ankle Strap looks fine, something like Stilettos.
But *shaking my head* towards Mary Jane shoes and T-strap heels.
The first one is starting to take the trend but just, I dislike.
The latter looks nice on OL (Office Lady), but I dislike too.

Pump heels, elegant looking and formal for office work. Pip toes heels is a trend last two years. But I will only get it when I start working, I think, haha.
Suede Mules, reminds me Pn.Suaida, my first thought. It looks fine, but I don't really like it.
Normal heels, have been developed to so many other types of heels. Now, there is vehicle-inspired heels. Fuyoh.

The WOW combinations.
Platforms. I cannot stand the height. I once wore a platform wedges, about 4.5 inches, beh tahan! But you cannot deny the fact that it is awesome!
Lady Gaga-inspired heels, where she wore in Bad Romance music video. To date, I haven't seen a real one, would like to find out how the feet fits in.
BOOTS! Oh my beloved. Boots lengthen women's leg, make you looks slimmer and taller. I owned 4 boots, 2 of them were free of charge :) Aren't we just love free stuff?

A shoeaholic definitely needs a shoe closet. There are some celebrities' shoe closet examples.

Featuring Jesscia Alba, the hot bombshell, just look at her heels collection, darn!
Next, Mariah Carey with her oh-my-God-I-could-die-for-this shoe closet, matches her fabulousity. Although how much I dislike her, no doubt she has the best shoe closet.
Lastly, Kim Cattral's simple closet. Featured her because she's my favourite in Sex and the City, at the age of 50 but still fabulous :)

Their closet are probably bigger than my room. It's okay, who knows I might own my own unique shoe closet in the future :P

It will look like this and that woman will be me :P

Yes it is a dream but it might come true, it might not.

On second thought, will I spend that much on shoes even if I have Donald Trump's wealth?

I said NO for now, but if I own that much, perhaps YES, WHY NOT??!!

They said DIAMOND is a woman's best friend, but SHOE is clearly my best friend!

Love,

Wenz

We are the world.

2010-04-03T21:17:00.005+08:00

As you can see, I changed my layout theme.

Fiona wouldn't like the theme colour though :P

As you can see, it is about 'ENVIRONMENT' and 'SAVE THE EARTH'.

I wanted to do this theme for quite long already, but postponed due to my laziness and hectic schedule.

But it is term break now!! Thank God I survived the first term, I am on track on catching up the Australian style, dealing with assignments and trying to love the syllabus. Let's see if my holiday plans work, will update it next two weeks I think :)

Back to my layout theme, I can declare myself as an environment lover, well, not a devoted and commited one, but at least, a stubborn one. Why? The Ampang Point's Royel's cashier INSISTED on giving mom plastic bag because they don't have the sticker tape, eventhough there is a proven piece of paper called RECEIPT and even after my mom said 'DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT IS SAVE THE EARTH?'

I HATE plastic bags. Everytime I go out shopping, the Perth bag from Edu Fair, the beloved 5 Anggerik bag and my favourite Forever 21's Paris bag will surely be with me. I insist on no plastic bags but am really disappointed to see those people on the next counters have trolleys full of Tesco or Jusco's plastic bags. I just wonder when will people actually realise to bring their own shopping bags, even with all those 'No Plastics on BLAday' campaigns and whatsoever.

So people, start doing your part today! There are still a lot of ECO habits other than shopping bags, I am still clearly not good enough. Perhaps I will start researching about it. Just get some cool shopping bags. You can save plastics, save resources, save money, save lives and SAVE THE EARTH!

Holidays = Paint fingernails!

As you may see, I am into these mani-pedi. I am surprised to see the left ones lasted about 3 weeks already. And my fingers, don't really like the metallic grey and bronze combination, but it is okay :)

Going Genting tomorrow with family. A runaway from books :)

Upcoming post: Footwear

Love,

WENZ

So what if.

2010-03-23T10:19:00.003+08:00

As soon as we grow up, we will soon realise the path that we are taking are no longer smooth. As if we are climbing a hill, to achieve the hilltop is not in a blink of eye, it requires a long journey. There will be so many obstacles to stop your way to the top. The true colours of people, the difficulty of challenges, the harshness of reality life, the changes in yourself and more.

So what if I am not sociable?
It is not that I am all alone,
It gives me more peace that I need.

So what if I have short fingers and tiny hands?
It is not that I will be refrained from playing instruments.
I am working on final grade of piano, starting as a violin beginner and hopefully learn guitar as well.

So what if I do not own an iPod?
It is not that I will die or suffer,
I can still survive on my Express Music, laptop and radio.
And I can still get albums from Negar :P

So what if friends are not there when I'm down?
It is not that they abandon me,
It is just that I choose to face matter myself,
Learn to get up whenever I fall down.

So what if I don't have a boyfriend now?
It is not that I am desperate for guys.
It is just I enjoy being single and not want to be tied up so soon.
And my focus now is still on my studies.

So what if I hate my studies now?
It is not about winning top spot,
It is just about the process of learning and how I take it,
Everything will not be as easy as I think.

So what if my life is miserable now?
It is not the end of my life,
Because I'm still learning and changing.

Hooray,

Wenz

*updated this in Mathematics class :) *

Rejuvenated, finally.

2010-03-06T22:16:00.002+08:00

Most of you know, my so-called favourite number/lucky number is 7. So what's so special about number 3? On the 3rd of the week (if you count Monday as 1st day), 3rd day of the 3rd month, I was having my second driving test at 3pm and completed it at 3 pass 3 (suppose to be quarter past 3), my test was scheduled at the 3rd section of the 3rd session, and coincidentally I was the 3rd person to be tested. Honestly, I am not joking. There are easily 9 threes already. No big deal perhaps, I was just amazed.

I gratefully thank God for granting me a 'lulus' at last. I passed the driving test with much self-encouraging, average expectation, a little fear and nervous, not to forget, in a dramatic way as I nearly fail, again. Frankly speaking, I was glad that I failed on 5th February, because I finally learned some valuable lessons and rejuvenated to a better person, I think. With much more positive attitudes now, I learn to face challenges with better aim :) The failure opened my eyes to many things, things that I neglected last time, because my both eyes were just on the prize, but not the real effort and the process. Oh, I just love being inspired.

5th of March, 4.06pm.

I was on my way back from school, in school bus with unfamiliar people, heading to the mall to meet my buddy, you know who you are :) Throughout this journey, I stared out of the bus window, looked at the raindrops, enjoyed the view of Kuala Lumpur, witnessed a deadly lightning strike from the sky to no-where at enormous speed, and I was trying to review myself for having already 6 weeks in school. What did I see? I saw nothing, I still cannot feel the sense of belonging, everything is still so blank and I nearly lost myself, forget who I actually am. Yes, I am still working on it, and no worries, I am facing with optimism, really.

The bus stopped at this luxurious condominium, I went down the bus. It was raining cats and dogs, raindrops were covering my glasses, my vision became blurred and I was lost. With two heavy bags on both of my shoulders, I glanced to the left and to the right, not knowing which direction to go. A guard was looking at me, perhaps wondering why was I walking to and fro under the rain. I finally recognised the building that I supposed to enter, crossed the road with much fear. Ran really fast on the sidewalk and I made it finally.

Standing at entrance of Convention Centre, I was all wet, soaked with those acid rain. It was like I bathed with my clothes on. After finished using the packet of tissue, I had this long walk through the Aquaria-parking-KLCC tunnel. Soaking wet with red top, long jeans and a pair of Everlast slip-on, I sensed some passer-by were looking at me. I felt the chilling cold with the air-conditioning blowing towards me as I walked. But I was fine and I met her, alas.
*

Meet the Year 2 boy, Watanabi.

Isn't he the CUTEST CREATURE in the world?

It was love at the first sight with his cute act, big eyes, chubby face, etc. I think he loathes me as I always demand a 'Hi' and 'Bye' from him, poked and pinched him, insisted on having a picture with him, he refused :( Anyway, this picture is enough to melt my heart :P

Rejuvenated,

Wenz

Love is in the air, definitely.

2010-02-14T21:27:00.004+08:00

You might wonder why is this picture of christmas tree appearing again. Well, the decoration changed. I used the red and gold theme for this festive new year season, added with some CNY decorations. Imma kinda satisfied, my hard work :)

Just so you know, I only have a four days break till Tuesday. Ain't complaining but the more the better of course, because after 3 weeks of school, I am already physically and mentally exhausted. Perhaps is tired of running up and down for classes. Perhaps is the pressure of trying hard to get use to new environment. Perhaps is the difficulty of assignments and familiar but seems different syllabus. Perhaps is the antisocialising of mine. Gahh, four days break, perhaps enough for me to rest, better than nil.

Had a great 2 days so far :)

Watched this on Friday after school, although it was tiring to rush, but worthy it was. In my point of view, the movie is awesome with straightforward plot, thunderous sound effects, hilarious scenes, amazing visual effects, ultra-cool worlds, hot guys :P Now I wish to get the Percy Jackson's books, but not until I finish my unread collections.

Joanne, my movie date for Percy Jackson. How last minute was it. But a last minute YES is more than enough for making my day. I had forgotten when was the last time I talked that much :) Great day it was.

Oh, watched this on New Year Eve. OMG it was one of the sweetest movie I ever watched. With strong cast starring those great actors and actress, super funny plot and heart-warming scenes, it is one movie that I smiled all the way throughout the 2 hours. And I watched with the right crowd, they went OOH during the gay scene, AHH when Taylor Swift appears , AWW when the little kids kiss, HAHA during the funny scenes, CLAP when Jennifer Garner violently crushes the love cushion, SQUEL when Taylor Lautner appears (I think I know who squels :P). The atmosphere is totally right, love is in the air, definitely.

Warning, spoilers ahead. Jessica Alba is GORGEOUS but does not stand out with limited scenes. Kathy Bates is MOTHERLY as a news supervisor. Jessica Biel is HOT with killer heels and tight-fitting dress but WEIRD with I-hate-Valentine-Party. Bradley Cooper is HANDSOME but with unexpected ending, the crowd OOOOHs! Eric Dane is super HOT with his awesome bod. Patrick Dempsey is a JERK in the movie. Jamie Fox is not suitable as sports commentator, but he is OKAY.

Jennifer Garner is AWESOME with her revenge plan and smashing skills. Topher Grace is CUTE. Anne Hathaway is DESPERATE and SEXY. Ashton Kutcher stands out with most scenes and looks good in PINK, he is darn FUNNY. Queen Latifah is COLD but HOT. Taylor Lautner is HOT but is overshined by another Taylor. Emma Roberts is BEAUTIFUL and a NAUGHTY teen. Julia Roberts is PERFECT and I nearly shed a tear for her last scene. Taylor Swift is totally CRAZY.

Go watch it, you will get what I mean :P

My date for Valentine's Day. Lol, sounds wrong eh, Negar? Haha.

Watched this with family at New Year Eve night. 14 Blades is my first choice but I have 2 lil brothers. Little Big Soldier is super funny at certain parts, a lil boring but there are two sizzling HOT guys.

Wang Leehom. He is totally different with his MusicMan image. He turns to a perfect man with coarse voice and martial art skills. Ahh, he is just almost perfect and super talented.

Ahh, this. Searched high and low for a picture of him. Steve Yoo, a Korean-American who portrays Prince Wen. His chinese slang is unique, he is hot and he has six pack! Or eight?

Yoo Seung Jun. Told cha he is hot. Or maybe not your type. Not really a Korean fan, but this is you-know-what-am-I-gonna-say :P

I got 2 weeks to play with this, my new toy and my new babe, violin!

Having problems with the posture and notes playing. I need a tutor (Haruka!) or I shall google 'how to play a violin in 2 weeks' :)

Just ignore the messy hair and focus on the Tiger. Yes it is the one that I redeemed from Guardian. May the Year of Tiger help you to pounce on opportunities, prowl against danger and purrr with love, health and laughter! Kong Hee Fatt Choy!

Love,

Wenz.

You better bloody pass.

2010-02-05T13:59:00.003+08:00

Dear Desiree,

You heard the tickling of the clock,
You heard the pounding of your heart,
You heard spinning of the fan,
And the loudest among all,
You heard the screaming from your heart.
It does not matter if you are alone,
If you lost your one and only cubicle,
If you only scored 6.5 marks,
If you have no one to turn to,
If you cry till your eyes swollen,
If you are longing for bear hugs,
Because no matter what happens, I am here with you.
Yes, you are all alone in these,
You cannot expect help to survive,
You have yourself, you have me,
I know you had tried really hard, stayed very strong,
It is easy to say ‘just continue to stay strong’,
I know perfectly that how hard is it to do it,
I love you, is all I can say.

Desiree who?
Wenz.

(I typed that on 2nd Feb, when my internet was down)

Back to the blog title, you better bloody passed, Mr James joked. For now, I just can hope that he doesn't ask me on Monday, because I bloody half-failed! Sorry to disappoint you guys, things just went wrong. I am still depressed over the moment that the officer asked me to come out. Darn! Failed on Ronaldo's 25th Birthday and no license before Chinese New Year. Darn, I wanna swear #%*#%%*&%#%*$#*#%*#!!

Perhaps if the lesson didn't cancel last minute yesterday, it will be better.

Perhaps if I didn't go gym & bake till night yesterday, it will be better.

Perhaps if I plan everything earlier, I need not to skip 2 days of school & wasted it.

Perhaps if I can maintain my momentum, everything won't be so screwed up.

Perhaps I just have to shut up & stop blogging this!

It is just not my day, not my week. Blame no one but myself. For years, there is no 'failure' in my vocabulary. Accepting failure is always hard because I am confident in myself that I can win, perhaps is over confident. That's why I felt so shitty during last year's academic failure, during SPM and then now. Lesson learnt, gotta install 'accept-failure-with-open-heart-and-not-overly-confident' in my brain. Do the very best each time with the very best effort but no pressure. Sounds hard, but that's my new resolution :)

I guess I am fine,

Wenz.

Meet me new babe.

2010-01-24T08:51:00.007+08:00

Well, it is not the stunning yellow Camaro, it is not the gold Lamboghini that I dreamt, it is not the purplish blue Jazz than I want, it is not the cute but odd-looking Porsche, it is not sporty Aston Martin which James Bond got to drive, it is not the grand Mercedes which rich people travel with, (You might think: Get into the point laaa!!), it is a metallic silver Perodua Alza. Haha. Oh well, I don't mind, as long as it is a car to drive. Though it is not entirely or officially mine, but at least, it is half mine. Haha.

Meet me new babe, Gucci.

You might wonder, why Gucci? If I have a dog as a pet, I will name it Gucci, it's just sound great and cute to me, ha, call me crazy. The plat means something for my family. WTK 8827. At least not WTH and WTF, Lol. W stands for Wen, the middle initial of me and my brothers. TK stands for Tan Kiam, my dad's name! How coincidence. 8827 with the double 8 means prosperity, hopefully it brings my family wealth, haha!

I am not allowed to drive yet, but I can drive, just not good enough for the instructor, darn. After 4 lessons, I have confidence for road driving, but drive then brake on the slope was kinda dreadful. Reverse parking and 3 point turn was okay, but not that good yet either. Hopefully everything will be fine by 5th February, my testing date. Oh what a coincidence, same day as Ronaldo's and King Nanie's birthday! Awww..

Oh well, something random here, this is the Form One Literature, belongs to Gerard. I spent 15 minutes of my evening reading this, since it is about Sherlock Holmes, as the movie was my first movie in 2010 :) Look at the cover, the left one is Sherlock Holmes and the right one is Dr.Watson. Kinda big difference huh, compare to the goofy attractive Robert Downey Jr. and the thin good-looking Jude Law.

Omr, read the first chapter. How much it differ from our literature five years ago! We got selected poems and short stories, I remembered something about Bunga Telur, pencil, candle. But in 2010, it appears to be comic-like, colour pictures illustrated and in a form of dialogue. The

textbook even has all the reference about the themes, settings, characters and so on. I ended the book with a question mark and exclamation point, like this: ?! Things change.

XOXO,

Wenz.

Coming to an end.

2010-01-22T13:42:00.004+08:00

Holidays are coming to an end after a month plus, I guess it is pretty enough for me to regain the strength and rejunevate to a better person. As the Year 11 of AISM starting next Monday, I think I am quite mentally-prepared. But still I cannot get rid of feeling nerve-racking for the orientation. Grr, I was not nervous for the previous assessment and interviews, but I just cannot stop gripping my hands tightly and fussing about my attire before the orientation session.

My overall attire for the Year 11 in AISM.

Blue-white stripe shirt and navy blue skirt with black leather shoes.

As you can see, I chopped off my long straight hair. One, to fulfill my vow that I made. Two, to try something new. Three, to solve my dandruff problem. Yes I had received comments, both delightfully funny and annoying harsh ones. I have no regrets of cutting it, returned to my natural curl hair which I inherited from my mother. Entering Standard One and Form One with the short curly hair. And I wished to enter AISM with the original me also :)

Back to the orientation, the speech was brief and the tour was great. Met another scholarship recipient and 2 more Year 11 new students. And some former scholarship recipients seniors who gave some guidelines and shared some stories.

This school is really something very different. It takes time to be used to this environment and the people around. Will see how things go for the first week *fingers-crossed* I gotta feeling, school is gonna be *to-be-continued*

With love,

Wenz.

A brand new year.

2010-01-01T13:00:00.002+08:00

I was walking along the super crowded Bukit Bintang walk. Passing by many people whose faces with smiles and laughters. Everyone seemed to be in a high mood to celebrate the last day of 2009. Observing at people like I always do, I saw couples arm in arm, girlfriends hand in hand, boy gangs (not linking arms and holding hands, for sure, haha) chatting for the countdown plan, family members - parents holding children's hand, walked along the crowded street.

Many 2009 memories striked on my mind suddenly, like a flashback. How time flies, I still remember typing the last post of 2008. Then now, a brand new year is here. I did not celebrate new year eve with countdown parties in KLCC, Merdeka Square, Pavilion, Sungei Wang, 1 Utama & Sunway Pyramid. Though I would like to attend one, to roar with thousands with remix songs from DJ. But I am sure I will have one in the future :)

It was one peaceful New Year Eve, which was all I wanted. Just a quiet day then a trip to Pavilion at night with family. Had a delicious meal & brief shopping. Then headed home for an unsual snack supper and popped the red wine. BOOM, the clock striked 12, the fireworks began. From my parents' room window, I had a good view of Merdeka Square's and KLCC's view. Looking at the colourful blooming fireworks, it marked the start of 2010, after the first call in 2010, I continued to watch with a sigh of relief that 2009 was over and a big smile on my face which a brand new year is here.

For all the SPM leavers. We were no longer in secondary school, no tradition teaching, no boring repeating schedules for years, no certain subjects (ahem!) and many more. We are going to be introduced to pre-university/college life which certainly seems fun and pretty challenging. The study path is still so long, still require years to reach the career that we chase, the future that we are awaiting is still so infinite. We certainly need to renew our energy and prepare for the next stage of life, but whatever we learned for SPM, is definitely not a waste!

New beginnings, as in the beginning of our future. A-levels, Diploma, South Australian Matriculation, Foundation, International Baccalaureute (Grr, how to pronounce this?!), and so on. Many options to lead to the future. And the end of SPM marks the beginning for the higher education, harder and fun-ner life.

Lol, blue-ish enough, I guess.

I hereby wish all of you a good rocking year ahead.

New resolutions, updated at the left column and it will always be updating whenever there's an addition. Hopefully I can achieve it and fully checked at the end of 2010. Haha. It sounds impossible but will try my best. :)

Happy New Year,

Wenz.

Finale of 2009.

2009-12-29T15:26:00.003+08:00

The tickling clock indicates there is only 2 more days till the end of 2009. What a year.

My resolutions for 2009:

A rocking year (checked)
Consume very healthy diet (failed)
Discipline Advisor duty (checked)
Distinction for piano theory (failed)
Excel in academic (half-checked)
Exercise regularly (half-checked)
Full scholarship (checked but no proof of black and white yet!)
Handle problems wisely and optimistically (checked)
Maintain good friendship (checked)
Play the piano really well (half-checked)
Read more (half-checked)
Rocked with AAR (checked)
Shop less, save money (checked, failed. LOL!)
Slim down (Obviously, failed)
Successful and memorable I.U. Day (checked)
Study hard and smart (half-checked)
Straight A's in trials (checked)
Straight 1A's in SPM (Proceed to Resolution 2010)
Sweet memories with Japanese friends (checked)
Watch Malaysian Tennis Open finale live (checked)
Watch ManUtd vs Malaysia live (checked)
Wonderful 8th day of the 7th month (checked)

I can see there are more 'checked'sss. Hehe.

It is a tough year, not just for me but for everyone. Have SPM to face but with dropping results and unstable mood. Have family and friends to care about but with disappointing incidents at times. Have no-scholarship-no-future issue to deal with but lack of help and support. Am tired of everything but there are more to come, more to face.

Discovered many human qualities and I've learned a lot, oh well, still in a state of learning. Lessons of 2009:

Attention seeker who wants to be under the limelight, using manipulation to get popularity, to show off whatever are unnecessary, in other term, childish!
People who do not show appreciation and care but demand love in return, just does not deserve anything!
Promises are made to be fulfilled, think twice before making one, empty promise is a lie!
Dishonesty ruins a relationship, both love and friendship but lies are needed to protect ones, learn to make wise decision after rational thinking!
Depression does not mean the end of one's life. Those who whine a lot and think pessimistically with I-am-so-pitiful-till-I-wanna-die thought, one word: stupidity!
Those who spend without knowing how hard to earn a single cent, thriftless and ashamed!
Jealousy does not worth a second. Instead of spending time feeling green-eyed, spare yourself with better things to do!
Stepping into the world of adolescent, it is time to reach upon maturity thinking. Some people just tend to stay in the world of a 12 years old, how sad!
High school allows us to hold some responsibilities. Those are minor only, but some carry irresponsible attitude and shrug off the duty, just like that!
Hypocrisy, a hard thing to say. I feel that I am a hypocrite at times. Be yourself at every single moment, be a double-faced agent? That's so unprofessional.
People pleasing, it still creeps in me. To do everything in my own will, sounds cool but perhaps, not possible all the time. Bear with everything you face and stop complaining!

I am not trying to judge anyone with the statements above, just things that happened are just ridiculous. I am who I am. You are who you are. Only I can judge me self and decide what is the best for me. So do you. Everyone has their own personal issues to deal it, and it is not you-are-not-me-then-you-would-not-know-how-I-feel.

♥Do not compare your life with others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.♥
Quote by Regina Brett who sent the forward email.

P.S. Jeremy, if you are reading this, I am the 93%!! Haha!

Wenz

Say Peace.

2009-12-25T18:14:00.008+08:00

All I want for Christmas is P.E.A.C.E.

Just a little quiet festive day, relax and rest.

And to think ahead, the future and my own behaviour.

Gotta do an evaluation of 2009 and resolutions for 2010.

I've checked out some shopping malls christmas decoration.

And did some window shopping too!

So here are the pictures!

One Utama.

The White Lyrical Christmas!

It is white and silvery, grand and elegant.

Shop for christmas presents for my family. This was the first time I did that.

It was kind of great actually.

KLCC!
The theme is colourful and candy-ish, cute and kiddy.
KLCC will never be a shopping paradise for me.
Limited suitable shops and not much variety.

Mid Valley!
Once again, white and silvery, but with candles and castles.
A different concept with 1 Utama's.
Visited the Edu Fair, and my questions for my further studies were solved.
But there is still a need to consider and research again.
Did not shop anything there too, perhaps I got enough of stuff already.

Pavilion!
One of my favourite mall. The deco wows me every festive season.
I would say it is a more traditional christmas.
Nice combination of red and gold. The lights played a significant role.
Not to mention the man-made snow!
Oh, how much I love winter and snow!
A nice place to shop, just bought some lil stuff.

Sungei Wang!
Okay, actually I just passed by Sungei Wang when I was walking to Times Square to Pavilion.
Blue-ish and snowy. Simple with some rotating swans.
Never been a good shopping place for me. :P

Sunway Pyramid!
Magnifique Christmas.
I've always loved this place.
I did not pay attention to it's deco, kind of rushing for shopping.
Did not get anything, but at least my mom did.

Times Square!
A large rotating Christmas Tree with S&J underneath.
It's like snow world. Nice but I did not walk around there. :(
Never been a good shopping place for me too. :P

Wangsa Walk!
White and Blue. Not very special but it isn't bad.
Went there for dinner only. Though it is not a great shopping place, but how I wish my housing area has a mall like that with cinema, bowling, karaoke, fashion and food!

Guess what, me home sweet home!

I set up this tree and put on the decos!

And prepared some fake presents too.
I think it's much nicer than last year's but should have set a theme.

Okay, done with malls, check out me and friends!

With Michelle @ Times Square!

So it makes me the tiny, Michelle the medium, Snowman the large!
HAHA!

Cupcake Chic!

6 cupcakes at $25!

Not worthy, I can make 48 cupcakes with that money!

But the $25 goes for the unique flavour, nice decorations and good quality ingredients.

Oh this last glance of my ~~school~~ ex-school!

It contained a lot of sweet memories with friends and satisfying achievements.

But also a harsh place to learn about people.

Oh, shortly after watching 爱德华. 朱仁 (Edward Cullen! Lols!) The Twilight Saga: New Moon and bumped into LuEe my long lost friend, I caught up with the snow!! Ah, fake soapy snow, but better than nothing. Passed Undang that day. Great day it was.

A large bunch of people gathered at Pavilion for him.
Jay Chou, ChiLing.Lin and The Treasure Hunter's crew were there for the movie promotion.
After some squeezing, only snapped this picture and the back of ChiLing.
Gave up and went for some brief shopping instead.

Chocolate Foudue @ Chocolate Lounge.
Oh how finally, been dying to go to this cafe.
We finished this in 10 minutes to rush for movie. How funny.
Chocolatey! Yum! Fatty! Oh no!

Ya, we as in we, Cassandra and me. Celebrated Christmas Eve with 2 movies, Sakae Sushi and Chocolate Lounge. The crazy plan does not work :( But at least it was an unusual Christmas Eve :) A kind lady snapped this for us, she offered automatically to do it. It was so rare, I think only 1 out of 10 will do it. May God bless her.

Okay, with flowers. But it's not mine, just grabbed it and snapped.
Sunflowers and roses. Easily cost about $50.
Hmm, sooner it will wilt, $50 gone.
It's not worthy, but it charms the girls' hearts.
Lives of the flowers are sacrificed to win someone's heart.
Worth or not, the boy will decide.

Merry Christmas!

Wenz.

Perhaps, a dream comes true.

2009-12-18T16:01:00.003+08:00

19 November - The second day of that '3 alphabets' battle, I came across about this Australian International School Malaysia (AISM) Scholarship's advertisement. Honestly, I never heard of this school, but I had decided to try my luck. Glanced at the closing date, oh shit it's next friday! I gotta get my forecast result and testimonial!

20 November - While my comrades were resting at home and recovering from the first 2 days war, I headed to school while feeling not well, requested for my predicted forecast result and testimonial.

23 November - Got hold of all the documents, thankfully.

24 November - Document file sent via courier service which charged $7, hopefully worth it.

1 December - Received an email from the administrator from the school to inform that I have to sit for the scholarship examination. Okay, I was flying sky high with that news. Did not waste that $7! HAHA.

12 December - Went for the scholarship test. I nearly went home without sitting for test as the guard wouldn't let me in. Thankfully, after some phone calls, the test is on. Mom went back, I was alone there, along with 8 'competitors' and their parents. The school surrounding is nice, modern building with swimming pool, playground for juniors, super cold air conditioned classrooms, lockers! I always want lockers in my school. HA. The assistant principle conducted the test and explained many things about the school. But it was hard to catch his Australian accent, ha. English, Mathematics, Science and Social Science, it were okay, a bit confident, ha.

14 November - My merdeka day and the day that I am awaiting for the interview call. Unfortunately, no call from them, yes I was left a lil disappointed.

15 November - Shortly after returning the textbooks, I received the call. Squeled when I saw the 'aism calling', the screen showed. Hello, Bye. Oh yes, I made it to the interview.

17 November - Woke up very early and put on my mom's white formal top and my black formal skirt. A lil nervous when I got there. Sat at the office, waiting time to pass, I knew 4 people were selected for the interview and I was the first to be interviewed. Suddenly my name was called, walked in to the meeting room, my white wedges pumps was killing me, my feet was in pain. Greeted the 4 interviewers, they were all high-profile people from the school and the Taylor's Education Group. Okay, talked for about 20 - 30 minutes, a lil awkward silence at times, but phew, I survived. And a lil confident at the same time. Hehe. I was informed that the result will be out on the next few days.

18 November - Perhaps it is the right decision to stay at home, while I was watching Jennifer's Body, suddenly the familiar annoying house phone rang, it was right beside me, glanced at the number, I recognised it! Hello....a long conversation it was.....Bye. THANK GOD! I GOT IT!! I got the full scholarship offer from them to study Year 11 and Year 12 of Australian Education. Will sit for the Higher School Certificate which is equivalent to A-levels and others.

A couple of people to thank here - The 4 interviewers for the golden opportunity! Mom and Dad for the help of applying this! Gerard Nick for the accompaniment and noise, haha! Cass Sumin Micha Jo for the support! All subject teachers for being in school for the forecast result! Cik Suzana for typing the forecast result! Pn.Chin for the testimonial! Cristiano Ronaldo for being the hot topic of the interview, hilarious! God for the blessing! And me myself for doing this!

All these happened so quick until I cannot believe this. Although it is not confirm to go for AISM, but I am totally flattered and delighted right now. At least, there is a confirm option and perhaps, a dream comes true.

Jumping around,

Wenz

It has just begun..

2009-12-14T22:01:00.004+08:00

别让生命留白！The last sentence that I wrote for last paper. I was in a rush, kept glancing at the clock and my watch, I wrote that exclamation mark with a great force, it was the last thing I wrote on my SPM booklet.

Similarly to what I did during the last Geography paper for PMR, I countdowned with my hands gripping tightly at the last minute. Finally ''masa sudah tamat, calon......'', I heaved a sigh of relief as a heavy burden had finally lifted off on my shoulders.

No more filthy white ribbon, yellow-brown uniform..
No more piles of books and countless papers..
No more restriction on visiting the cinema..
No more watching teevo and using lappy with guilt..
No more waking up in early morning..
No more excuses for not going to jungle trekking..
No more worrying about not studying and being lazy..
No more school, gonna start get use to it..
NO MORE SPM!

I can do manicure and pedicure on my nails!
I can start my novels! 30 novels awaiting!
I can start watching dramas and movies!
I can sleep like there's no tomorrow!
I can start doing exercise and keep fit!
I can read Galaxie and Seventeen after buying them for weeks!
I can update myself with all those latest songs!
I can spend time thinking about my future!
I can continue my shopping! I never stop as long there is sales!

Now I can finally take the countdown timer off. As today is the officially end of SPM for me.
For now, I just wanna rest my mind and soul, something is on my mind recently..

Happy MERDEKA and Happy HOLIDAYS!

Flying sky high,

Wenz

C! It's your birthday.

2009-11-23T00:00:00.001+08:00

Need not much elaboration..

Simple and straight to the point..

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY, CASS!!

Memories of 2008!

Memories of 2009!

Hope you like all the surprises..

The cake, the gifts, the cards, the posts.

Wish you happy always..

Okay, this suppose to be updated automatically on 12am, I thought it will.

It does not work, now I know. Lol.

Love,

WenX

The battle is on..

2009-11-06T20:24:00.003+08:00

31 October 2009

I rocked out with All American Rejects!

With about 18 more days left to THE ONE, I was not locking myself up in my room, studying like mad with piles of books and chocolates to munch. In fact, I was at Bukit Jalil, with more than 10,000 rock fans, enjoying ourselves with the R.O.C.K. band, All American Rejects. Naughty girls we are, we cut the line, headed straight to the main entrance queue, yes, just like that. That earned us a few seconds on TV with Natalie the Astro Hitz VJ recorded part of the Digi Top 20 there. And got ourselves a front nice view of ~~guys' hair~~ the stage. How lucky we were?!

Waited for hours for them. But the one who entertained us first was not AAR. An unknown guy sang My Cristiano Ronaldo (MCR!), oopsie supposed to be My Chemical Romance's Teenager. It turned out not so bad, but some showed the middle finger to him as a disrespect and rude act!

Disagree! I love the lead singer's shiny silvery guitar! And that reminded me glitter! Before the opening act, I was covered with glitter, thanks to the girls beside me.

Pop Shuvit! OMR the song that I liked and searched for a long time, actually sang by them. What 'Mara Bahaya'. I enjoyed the song a lot and it got the temperature of the atmosphere risen. Yes local bands are not that bad actually!

One Buck Short! Eh, I don't really remember them. But I remembered 'HANDSOME GILER!' for one of the lead singer/guitarist and 'COMEL' for Liyana(Estrella).. Some people shouted that.

Half an hour wait for AAR! They came out at 9.40pm but it worth the wait! The crowd went crazy and rocked with the band's catchy tunes and deaftening music. The 10,000 strong crowd was singing all along, and that was what I enjoyed. Sang at the top of the voice, hearing nobody but just your own voice and Tyson's voice, what an experience. It was totally different with Avril's, it's the view, the rocking zone, where people jumping around and screaming, it was just FUYOHHHHLY HIGH!

Tyson the world-class entertainer with the errr, red indian crown, entertained us with his goofy chicky moves and sissified voice.. Oh I missed him a lot! The front man made the crowd went HIGH and I enjoyed a lot. Time flied, they sang about 13 or 14 songs with the encore song, Gives You Hell, they ended their one and a half hour appearance.

This was my third time visit to Bukit Jalil this year. First was ManUtd's, with 80,000 super strong crowd, made your way to the LRT? half an hour! How much I miss that moment!! Second was Proton Malaysia Open, the tennis final, with about 1,000 crowd, not that bad, but not high either. And AAR marked my third, and thousands sat on the road pavement after 6 hours of standing, to rest their sore feet and have their ~~dinner~~ supper.

Freshen up with a shower and put on my pyjamas, I went to bed at 1am with a big smile on my face. I woke up in the morning, and the first thing I thought, I miss them hell a lot!

I made a conclusion that it is a MUST to be at the rocking zone or the most expensive zone in a concert. Because it is totally different atmosphere and feeling, and it is definitely worth it. For the future concerts which I have the chance to go, I will get those front seats, if I can afford! Ha.

6 November 2009.

I had buffet lunch with the School Editor Team.

With teachers and the team, we had the Thai buffet at Intai Intai. Oh, a person who does not actually okay with spicy food, fuyohh, H.O.T! It will make my few days old ulcer worst. Ha. But the food was not bad, just not much variety and it costs! But neh, we don't have to pay, which is the good thing and the main thing. Ha. With nice peaceful scenery and the area is just for us, we enjoyed our meal.

I wanna update more concert pictures but I am running out of time, with 12 days left and my unsteady study mood..So I'll share something with ya, instead of AAR's pictures, it's AAR's jumbled-up song titles. The last time I did this was during Standard 6 with Jolin Tsai's song, when I was a fan of her. This consisted of all the songs that AAR sang that Saturday, maybe I missed out one or two.

Dear Damn Girl,

You swing swing, when the wind blows, fallin' apart when the world comes down. Thinking that it's Doom's Day, and it ends tonight. Oh C'mon, this is the real world, a fast pace, challenging and unpredictable world. I wanna tell you a dirty little secret, everyone faces challenge every single moment, a new difficulty where God creates for you, for you to learn and gain. My paper heart isn't that strong either, but no matter what happens, I move along, I hope you too. And, more has yet to come. Remember, this isn't the last song of your life. I hope this gives you hell, a hell boost of confidence and energy to strike on and to win the upcoming battle. People, the battle is on for us on the 18th. And we can do it, we can conquer it! Good Luck to all of ya..

Lots of Love (LOL)

WenX

3-in-1 post..

2009-10-29T19:37:00.018+08:00

Okay, it had been a while since my last update.

I am under my restriction to online, yes, I forbid myself..

So, this will be a 3-in-1 post..

3 memorable events which took place in this two weeks time..

Beware: LONG POST AHEAD..

Well, it did not take ages to upload this 68 pictures, I am efficient after 2 years of blogging, HAHA! Facebook uploading was smooth too, thankfully..

Date: 24 October 2009 (Saturday)

Time: 2pm - 4.30pm.

Venue: Olympic Hotel.

Compared to the previous years' prefect hi-tea and the hotels' hi tea that I had tried, Olympic Hotel obviously did not meet the criteria and quality, but due to those tiney winey problems, it was understandable, and I appreciated the juniors and Pn.Rahayu effort, thanks! Though I left in hurry and stressing about being late for piano lesson, it was still an enjoyable hi-tea, but I did not eat $20 value food!!! Ah, fine...

First picture I took, with SooYee and YunSun, the BFFs..

With bestie Tyng, it had been a super duper long time since we take a picture together..

MayG, Apple, Tyng, Wenx
enjoyed camwhore in the toilet.

There are a few more pictures but I am lazy to upload. Hehe.

Date: 24 October 2009 (Saturday)
Time: 6pm - 9pm
Venue: Villa Wangsamas, Wangsa Maju.

Rushed from Ampang Point after 40 minutes of piano lesson, yes wasted 20 minutes for being late. Met up SuMin and Quiero and started out journey to the condo, it was a hilarious ride though and funny things happened when we headed to the party site.

It was drizzling when I reached there, but nevermind, we were in dunno-who's-umbrella-ella-ella, enjoyed our meal under the rain with protection of umbrellas.

Papa Yus came! Nice group picture.

Cik Aishah bought us a cake from Secret Recipe with red icing 'GOOD LUCK IN YOUR SPM'. Aww, that was so sweet and kind of her.. But I only got a small piece of the cake! ISH!

Undoubtly, one of my favourite picture of the day!

WenX and the Lee Small Dragon!

Nice picture! Lee Small Dragon was emo-ing?

Me and Cassie.

I should have uploaded another one which your face looked bigger than mine!

Okay, I really got no idea what were we doing..

My another favourite picture.

But it wasn't perfect. I need the one on the camera which was holding by Lainy!

My flabby arm caught in camera, hate it!

Oh, how good if I can do split like Jolin, then it can be perfect. Ha.

The gang hangs on the see-saw, finding our balance and we did.

We hold on together no matter what, and it will last, forever and ever, hopefully.

Me and Wern, the hottie.

P.S. Whoever had the pictures of the Anggerikian party, kindly exchange with me, thanks!!

Date: 29 October 2009 (Thursday)

Time: 8am - 1pm

Venue: ARGS

After 5 schooling years in Ampang Road Girls School, it is going to come to an end, and the Graduation Ceremony on 291009 marked the unofficially end of our high school life. (The official one is on 14th of December for me). Honestly, I did not feel like 5 secondary school life already, to me, it is just about like 3 years. I am actually eager to start my future education, to start stepping into the unimaginable future, although my future path is not clear yet.

A night before today, I was having imsonia, reason? Don't know. Excited perhaps. At the same time, of course, the ceremony marked the unofficial end of studying together with my dear friends. We are going to our own separate ways after SPM, feeling sad? Definitely got, but I am confident that we will keep in touch and have gathering once a while.

For the very first time in my 17 years, my first time of wearing baju kurung.

Thanks so much to SuMin, who borrowed me hers, it was a dream come true. Hmm, precisely, is two dreams came true. One, wearing baju kurung. Two, wearing student's uniform. I had been longing to try on student's uniform for years since becoming prefect since Form 2.

It was really nice when I wear it, kept hopping around in the morning, dancing Miley's Hoedown Throwdown. Well, no kidding. HAHA. I was hyper when I tried on the kurung.

CCY, the Harry Potter in Slytherin!

SuMin. WenX. YiEn.

SuMin the BFFs. You have been a great friend ever since we met. Started to get close in Form2 and we had many sweet memorable crazy moments! My personal favourite: last 2 years at KLCC, just the two of us, taking hilarious pictures around KLCC, still rememering. I still laugh like mad everytime I see the pictures. I hope our friendship bond will be strong as always, and we must stay in touch, definitely.

Cassandra the Buddy. Hmm, what can I say about you. I cannot recall much about us during Form1 and 2. I remembered our craziness over Harry Potter saga till we went to Tesco in 7am to buy the 7th book. 21 July 2007, I remembered it clearly. You gave me a feeling of like being protected, maybe because you are 'manly'. Yes, a protective friend and a caring one, just sometimes doesn't show it out. A funny one too, with squels and laughters. And I hope I can see you transform to a feminie side, I saw before in January this year. And I noticed you are changing now.. :P

Elaine. The pretty girl next door. I am envy of height and slim body. A great rival to compete with in Add.Maths and the Science subjects. Though we aren't that close, but we shared some funny moments and stupid jokes sometimes. Wish you all the best in SPM and in your future.

Sorry, blurred picture of you,Micha. It was the only picture I had that you are looking towards the audience. The speech was good, not bad. Have confidence with yourself and you can overcome the obstacles that challenge you. Oh well, this is not the speech for you yet.

Dikir Barat performance.

It was okay, it reminded me so much about Melatian. And I missed it a lot.

Sang out loud the Anti Dadah lyrics and the hand movements, it was a great experience. And the last performance we had during Teacher's Day in 2007, it was nice too.

The group singing. I never know Kimberley can sing. And it was good.

Perform more often okay.. Thanks for it..

The 1-Malaysia Choral Speaking by the Form 3.

Led by Roxanne. It was good enough where you all had only a week to prepare.

And funny too. Good job.

Although have been watching it for countless times, but I still enjoyed it.

Because it's INTERACT's. Haha..

All the best to the juniors, and hopefully you guys can do better.

The last minute performance.

Ain't about how fast I get there,

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the Climb.

I sort of forgot the lyrics, but it was a great satisfaction, sang a song in the graduation with all the graduates stood and sang together. The atmosphere was great, people were waving their hands high up and joined the singing. Love it. Enjoyed on the stage and the breathtaking view of Gryfinndors and Slytherins. It really looks like Hall of Hogwarts. HAHA.

Yvonne Low. Thanks for the harddisc. Honestly, addicted to it already. But I will still control myself, don't worry. After this 20 days, then I can watch the movies and dramas. All the best to you.

Kimmy the Egg. Hmm, thanks for the advices, you 'appeared' on the right time when I need support.

Deidre my lui. Thanks for the Fererro Rocher. It's in the fridge now but I shall digest it tomorrow. Hehe. Cutie pie, I will definitely miss you! Stay strong no matter what and don't give up in whatever that you are doing. Mama Lui relationship never end!

Habeeba! The trouble maker. HAHA. Melatian won't be the same if without you, your funny acts and your annoying burp and deaftening sneeze. Ha. Stay cute! Haha. And you create roars of laughter whenever you 'AH CHOOO' in your class, we heard it..

Although my real mom wasn't here today, but I got my 'kai-ma'. Haha.

Although I dunno whether it's real or not, but it's good to have a picture with her. Ha.

PingHui & WenX.

Oh, the time where we took bus to school everyday during Form2 and Form3, it was fun!

We played games in bus, made noisy like crazy kids. And our visits to the night market, although just a few times, but it was memorable. The black ManUtd shirt which you encouraged me to buy, I am still wearing it, hehe..

YiEn. The one who gave me the name: Wenx.

I admired your narrative essays and blog posts, which usually and always wow me. I should learn from you. Hmm, we aren't close at all, although we go to Chinese Class together last time, but we slowly become friends in Form Four, and we stayed back together at time, well, not that often. Wish you stay happy always, and you are not alone.

Savina the Hottie! Aww, don't be upset about the magazine page. In our eyes, you are the BEST!! Everytime when we flipped the 3 pages of ours, we will bear in mind, it's your hard effort and your artistic designs left us the sweet memories that Anggerikians had together.. All the best in your bright future.

Cheng Ying! Hmm, firstly Sorry if I offended you at times when I ejek you, it was just jokes and I never meant to hurt you. Hehe. Your presence have created much laughters, although sometimes I do not agree with you. Hehe.

Wish you all the best in pursuing the future studies in the One, or any One of the design universities. Remember the bring along History and Morale textbook, make historic or morality advertisements for Puteri UMNO, okay? HAHA.

Penny! We aren't that close but the time where we stayed back together was totally enjoyable. I liked listening to your love stories. Haha. And I admired your bravery in talking and doing things. Stay beautiful!

HueyWern the pretty girl. Hmm, another great competitor. Losing to you, yes of course is upsetting but is totally 心服口服.. I am open-minded about this. Congrats on the achievement and I am sure you can perform very well in the SPM. Thanks for the competition that inspired and motivated me.

SwerLie! Funny friend and you are having a steady happy life already.

Happy always!!

With Quiero and his trademark smile in school.

With Pn.Rahayu!

Well, I know I had been a naughty prefect with pierces and student's uniform, but I enjoyed being naughty a lil while. Sorry, teacher. Ha.

The gift given wasn't perfect, everything came off somehow. But cannot do anything, hope teacher can fix it. Hehe. It suppose to look like.........

THIS!

The gift from us, Prefectorial Board form 5 class of 2008/2009 and the sesated half prefect, Cass. This 3D crystal heart shape consists of 45 pieces of 3D peculiar shapes puzzles, took me 2 days to 'kaji' it but half an hour to 'gao dim' it.. It was really nice and a great feeling of success after pushing the support stick into the middle. Feel like buying other shapes to play, but it costs. One of my activities after SPM, puzzle solving!!!

Isn't it the most perfect heart shape you ever seen?

Well, it is for me. It's really nice under the lamp light.

Oh, I want a piece of it...

Bestie LEY!! How much I miss our moments in Form2 and Form3. And the SMS craze. Although we did not contact each other that often, but I know deep inside, our friendship bond is still very strong. I miss all the crazy moments which we shopped from morning till night, walked a long distance just to shop. Ha we were really crazy that time. Next trip again? Hopefully, you can drive me around after SPM. Hehe.. BFFs!!

Nabila Eyla the cutie pie. I admired your passion towards Japanese and your determination to go to Japan. Unlike me, although I vowed to learn French two years ago, but I gave up. I wish you can fulfill your dream to go to Japan!!

Nanie KING! And I am the QUEEN! Wait, how we crowned each other already? Since Form3? Related to Phantom of the Opera? Hehe.. You created countless and endless laughters in class, and for sure, Anggerik will not be the same without your presence. I will miss your joke most definitely. And your Covergirl advertisement always cheer me up when I am down. HAHA!
I hope you EASY BREEZY BEAUTIFUL as always, my COVERGIRL!

Princess Joanne Chong! Though you think it's geli, but I still like it. HAHA. You are the one who I can pour gossips on, Ha, gossipers huh. We shared, we laughed, we chatted, we had fun. Oh I will miss you as my neighbour in class for two years. Without you, it'll be much quieter, boring and meaningless. Keep in touch, pal! And I wanna see you in that tube, first time giving clothing as present. Stay beautiful, my princess. HAHA!

Me in green robes!

Of all colours, why green? I wish we got black, formal and standard.

But it's okay, it wasn't that bad, just oversized and HOT!
Not that H.O.T is just HOT. LOL!

Dyana! Thanks so much for your accompaniment whenever I stayed back. And I miss the meals we had together. The pizza, lasagne, Mcd.. You have been a supportive and caring friend to me. You have so much passion for your friends which is an admirable point. Your giggle, your laughter, your scream, your squel, will be always remembered in my heart. Stay happy always and don't let anything push you down.

And I, I gotta be strong, just keep pushing on....

Bestie TYNG!! Oh, how much I miss your presence. But, to see you happy and cheerful right now, I am happy too. The sweet memories of us and the pretty face of yours will always stay in my heart. No matter what happens, I hope you can stay strong. And if you need me, I will be there, just call my name. Hehe.

Aww, like this! Congrats Micha on becoming the Puteri Graduasi of 2009. Being crowned like a Miss Universe eh, HAHAHA.. It was a proud moment..

I will definitely miss all the smiles in this picture. And all the faces too.

All the best to all of us!!

Phoebsie! Hmm, enjoyed listening to all your stories.. Hehe.. Funny, exciting, dirty.. HA.. Stay sexy, girl.. HAHA..

Failed jump shot.. But nevermind, we got this pre-jump shot picture.. HAHA..

SOOYEE!! My long long buddy.. I remembered we are close since Standard Five, where we took the same school bus. During school holidays, we sent letters to each other although our houses were just 1km away, well, no kidding at all. And I still keep the letters. What no1 and no2, Connie and bla bla, aww, how childish we were but it was really a fun thing to do. Thanks for being a great friend. Stay in touch ya.

SUMO.. Eh, spell correctly??

HAHA.. SuMin is funny!
I guessed we are really stable in this position.

The larger the surface area, the more the stability.

The Threesome!

We are all this together!!

The Melatian Gang.

It was a successful jump shot but the picture is with Ley.

Long long pal YunSun. We did share secrets at times, just once or twice. Maybe not counted as secrets, just heart-to-heart talk. For me, it was. And you are a great friend and a trustable one. Hope you can pursue the career you want and be successful!

Another gang pic! Nice!!

US!

With Dyana again!

Yea, CCY the female Hercules!

And Yeah, I am wearing white shoes! Me brother's.

Totally student look, and I like it..

Me and Princess Michelle! HAHA.. I look tiny. HEHE.

For this 2 years long, you have given me so much accompaniments, during school, after school, during the weekend and holidays. It will be a thing to miss after you go for your national service and we part away for our path later on. You are different from others, as you are responsible and hold on to your own principal. I may not understand some of it, but you are unique in your own way. Sorry if I hurt you at times. Just bear in mind, stay optimistic all the time, don't cover yourself in a negatively-charged centre, bring out the positive vibes of yours. Chill and relax, and everything will be fine and nice. Remember ah, Sausage. HAHA, I remembered how we got the terms already. I am the Hamburger.

Aww, spot me? The tiny one. Blame my height!

Huggiessssss!! LOVE this!
Haha, Micha was crushed again!

With Kimberley!

Wow, she got the strength! Hehe, proved that I am light!

Neh, I must exercise already!

MOM, bring me to Fitness First!

My class monitor, Lava! A nice and responsible person. I used to call her name by singing Mamma Mia song instead of Mamma Mia, it'll be Lava-Niah. HAHA...

Angie, there ain't any picture of us in my camera, but there are a few in yours. Thanks for being a caring friend, and I will surely remember your cheerful smile, warm hugs, funny giggle, amazing singing voice and many more. Stay happy, my friend...

I shall end this here. Took me hours to update this. And I never touch a single book today, got la, a bit of Moral this morning. I gotta catch up tomorrow and do everything according to plan. Hope it works. Okay, I gotta catch up with some sleep..

ZZZzzzzz,

WENZ

15 Oct..

2009-10-16T15:49:00.007+08:00

A day with much anticipation and adrenaline rush..

A day to be celebrated with joy and happiness..

A day which took a month to plan..

A day which was just so meaningful for her and us..

A day which we had fun taking hundreds of picture..

A day which we laughed and enjoyed so much..

~~A day which I lost my voice, okay not related!~~

A day just for HER!!

A day which she turns 17 officially!

To her, JOANNE CHONG!

One of the most unique cake I ever seen.

From Coffee Bean.

Worth every penny as she likes it very much and we enjoyed it.

Classy and special, just like her.

''How come the box so big?''

''Oh, it's our Coffee Bean trademark, so whenever you go, everyone can see our brand.''

Oh, I was holding it walking with 2 plastic bags of McD and the promotional gigantic box, crossed all the 5 escalators with heart attack, because I was wearing the 3 inches high boots, HA!

Group pic! Oh poor SooYee.

NICE. Oh-not-so-poor CCY, haha, joking!

Pyramid shape! Yay, tallest me! But I was standing tip-toeing, Mich & Sav saw, LOL.

Us!

Oh, like this, but lack of one..

Your day, from the 27 of us!

Oh, Phoebs was here! PERFECTTT!!!

Love this.

Phoebs's shocking presence was a truly unplanned significant surprise for Jo.

Love this too.

Darn, I want rebonding!

Awesome Agent Rudolph 007 & Princess Joanne!

Her, with a handful of presents and cards and love letter from a special one!
Spot the file, WE ~~MAD~~ MADE IT!

Yes, mastermind 7-20, we can work together and it was a success!

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY again!

May our friendship never end.

Love you always, Hubbie Jo,

Wenz.