Tuesday, May 3, 2016

My Dear Friend

It was not difficult to walk out from the relationship. In fact it was easy. There was not much to hold on, other than my stubbornness on a couple of things. God had given me the training to let go, and it did feel much better as compared to last week. I had accepted that it was an outcome I expected, just in a harsher way. I loved the honesty, but the truth hurt too much. 

But it was difficult to walk out from the friendship. Maybe plainly because the friendship was real. The feelings were sincere and the effort was evident. I opened up the side of mine, which is dark, insecure and innocent; something I do not think I did it before. I am blessed with a handful of girlfriends whom I can confide in with girly rants, juicy gossips, stupid thoughts and weird confessions. But I peeled off the side of mine which was secretive, a side that I didn't want to acknowledge.

A friend of mine said 'aren't you afraid to open up anymore?'. I said 'not really, in fact, I quite like it this way'. To be honest, I am grateful to have met you. I really am. I learned to open up to you and myself, to be honest with myself, to peel off the layers I tried to hide. I learn to be honest and deal with my disadvantages, my failures, and my insecurities. You were an example I looked up to, a shoulder I lied on, and a listener I counted on. 

I hate that I am writing this in past tense. I did not regret anything, not even for that day, but I would regret if I do not say this 'thank you'. I do wish you all the best. I hope you had a great time as much as I did. If there is anything I can wish for us if God allows me to be a little more greedy, I hope there is still a tad bit of friendship for the future if we ever crossed path again. 

Wen Xin