Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Why is it so difficult?

I blogged in my 2015 review that the theme of the year was letting go. While I thought I have let go all those which do not belong me, God has tested my will once again. This time, He wants me to let go something which was probably the dearest of 2015. 
And gosh, why is it so difficult to let go?

I would like to blame my friend for his constant 'likes' on some Thought Catalog articles. See here and here. Though how much I want to agree how cliche and non-critical those articles are, I could not help myself but to nod all over. Those words perfectly capture the sulky and bitter mood of mine.

Not a day goes by that I am not thinking about it. Not a day goes by the heart does not sink when I think about that very day. I have so many questions floating in my head, but I am convinced the answers do not matter. It would not have changed anything. 

The grace period of 3 months is up, and your wake-up call came reminding me the other day. I said enough! for that day, I will have to say enough! to this state. I wish I could stick to the idea to remember the good times, but perhaps it's not that easy when you are hurt so badly, by someone you have cared so much.

I have seen it coming and played it in my head, but I did not expect it to come true, at least not this way.

Wen Xin