Saturday, October 17, 2015

Goodbye My Friend


The news came shocking
Unprepared of you leaving
It's your choice I would accept

Your update came through
Unaware of your problem
Can't help but I couldn't accept

Hello my friend
Goodbye my friend
How are you
I cannot care

I know it's painful, 
Regretful of your doings
If you could you would rewind

I was in pain, 
Struggling with my sorrows
How could you did this to me

Hello my friend
Goodbye my friend
How are you
I cannot care

There is a fire in me
Wanting to forgive and forget
You know I did try
But I cannot pretend

Hello my friend
Goodbye my friend
Hold on to fate
Let go I said

I am sorry I have to end this
What we had was broken, gone, move on
It's over

*

I was saving this song for a relationship. Once in a blue moon, I play with the second-hand keyboard I bought, not fancy but decent for a release. I listened to the snippet of the recording I did on my birthday this year. Strangely I don't remember creating that melody on that day. Anyway the birthday is forgettable, which is probably the reason by I did not write a dedication post this year.

Around midnight, I dreaded to the end the unproductive evening. Somehow I got inspired, some rearranging and trying out lyrics later, it was done in 30 minutes or less than that. It's funny how all the songs I have written are about guys. I wished I continue pursuing piano to learn proper composition. I wished I can read and learn to write better. The recording process was surprisingly quick, usually it takes more than 10 takes in 1-2 hour.

The story behind this song, was quite unexpected. I guess I was not surprised that it happened. But I was certainly surprised at how I reacted to it. I had said the theme this year is letting go. I had never thought that I would let go a friendship. 

I did have some content to write for the birthday post. One of it would be 'Somehow I don't feel 23 at all, but a young adult being lost in quarter life crisis: spiritually challenged, academically poor, intellectually empty'. But of all the negative things, I think at most least, I learn to be mentally prepared for things, I was rational and calm in dealing with this. There were a lot of emotions involved this year. This was a difficult decision and I was afraid of the consequence. 

I guess I have grown a lil matured, and probably selfish in dealing with people and happenings. I realise things, can be and should be as simple as it can, despite the world being so complicated with motives and emotions. I do know my focus for now, and there is much more that I want to do before ending this chapter in Australia. At least I end a chapter with this song.


PS: If you are reading this, please don't take it personally, just found a way to express this. Remember my last text to you, I mean every word I wrote.



Wen Xin