It takes losing to realise how much you want a thing, same goes to a person. The whole night, I have the Frozen's Let it Go ringing in my head, almost as a mantra for myself for years but I ignored it all the time. I hold strongly to my own principles and to finish whatever I worked in the past, and accumulated a list of to-complete.
This break is coming to an end, it was somewhat a mixture of productive and procrastination, enjoying and stressing, recovering and sacrificing, thinking and trapping, expectation and realisation. It wasn't an exciting break but quite enlightening. The directions were very clear from the start but the drive, energy and passion were divided to three heavy commitments, that often it was imbalance. Somehow it was juggled well between two, but not the third. Why did a threesome pop into my mind? Oh my... Well, just a bad metaphor.
I'm glad that I am letting go the person in my head, but now to convince myself to let go the thing in my head. It is pretty evident that it is healthier and happier for myself to let the thing go. It is something I'm emotionally attached to since October last year when Malaysian Night 2014 ended. But being someone who documented almost every single thing I possibly can, I will try to document this.
And now, I'm insomnia, with my mind occupied with this. Wide awake with my eyes wide open, I should be feeling tired but I'm not. At 4 in the morning, I was at the kitchenette cooking. At 5 in the morning, I was showering. Until a power outage, I was forced to bed.
A meeting solved it all and it's truly over. Ain't sure what I feel about this to be honest as my mind simply couldn't think any more.
Off to shower and bed,