Monday, September 22, 2014

Arthur Boyd

During my November trip to the Museum of Contemporary Art in Sydney, I regretted for not visiting Yoko Ono's exhibition because I was too stingy. Thou shalt not repeat a mistake twice, hence with no second thoughts and no hesitation, I went for Arthur Boyd: Agony & Ecstasy at the National Gallery of Australia. I shall skip telling the story on how I get there, because it is Boyd's work that I should be writing on.

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One of the art that captures my attention, The Mining Town. He pays attention to all details with careful consideration in his art. There are happenings at different places at one time which reminds me of what I am doing right now.

His art is dark, most of his arts are with dull colours. Even the ones in white canvas, it is drawn with dark colour as a vast contrast. For some of his art, there is a sole imperfect stroke which I think is intentional. For some of his arts, there is always a second, third or fourth mysterious unknown figure, acting as an invisible support which I think is what he craves for during his life.

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He tackles love and despair, desire and guilt, cruelty and compassion, life and death with profundity and a sense of adventure. The message in his art is simple, but presented dramatically. Interestingly, Boyd also makes sexual organs something very distinctive for gender and sexuality.

Mr Security told me I could download and read the story online, but I couldn't find it. Thank God I made some notes. The Nebuchadnezzar series depict his interpretation towards the ruler. For this art, 'The fallen king is the very image of vulnerability and animality."

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Boyd uses cage and window rails as a metaphor in the series 'The Cage Painter'. Probably the darkest series of all, he tells his personal agony of the artist's creative struggle. Some of his drawings are never complete, as in a show or an eye is missing, half of the body is never shown, etc. He leaves spaces for the viewers' wild imagination and interpretation.

So much wisdom from a man who is in pain but blessed with a loving family. He is observant to details and alert to current affairs. Mr Security's words "You'll never know" is still echoing in my head. The spontaneous day out is fruitful and inspiring.

Thank you,
Wen Xin

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Words in the Black Ink

I wrote this short poem on the 23rd August. I remembered it was another aimless Friday evening where I just came back from a fruitless task with a friend. We were walking around campus and asking around to try our luck. Now at three weeks later, I still have not followed up with the task. Once again, if Procrastination is a nation, I am the Queen.

Back to this poem, well it wasn't a poem; it was telling 10 stories I had, or rather 10 feelings I had at that very moment. It was not difficult to come out with when you were inspired or in the mood. I guess I shall take explain about it, even though I know what every single character means.

My grandmother has her mood swings occasionally, and she will ask 'If people were to die, why being born at the first place?' I answer, 'it's Destiny'. This phrase captures what she or myself thinks.

一路坎坷,已心如止水; I am tired of fighting, knowing that I'd still need to fight to get to where I want to be. I am not giving up, but it is exhausting to keep up with the dreams and wants.

人性险恶,乃走火入魔; Looking at the current affairs, home or foreign; people are blinded by power and evilness. Being a bad person is so much easier to be a good person.

Looking at people around me, colleagues or acquaintance; it is despicable on how one will manipulate for their personal agenda.

Looking at what I've signed up, I don't mind doing extra. But I would appreciate it if you make it easier for me by being decisive, at least a Yes or a No.

Friendships are very much like a relationship. You need time and effort from both ends to make it work. It was disappointing when a friendship fades unexpectedly. What's left is nothing but memories.

A one-sided forbidden crush, where I couldn't afford the risk and drama, not at this critical moment. It's heartbreaking to let go, but if it's meant to be, it will be.

I hope the loved ones are doing well at home.

A life changing deed will take years to repay. Until then, I am obliged to play their rules to stay in the game.

On how am I tackling the 9 stories above? With the principles of staying true to one self.

Wen Xin

Friday, September 12, 2014

To the Moon and Back

Under the shining moonlight, we were walking towards the city for an impromptu dinner. Fate brought us together for the second time in five years. You embodied both charming and cool in one. We talked about friendship, relationship, academics and life. The dessert platter we shared and the hot chocolate we drank accompanied the two hours we had.

It was comfortable and relaxing, where I made a couple of unexpected confessions; both are guilty, secretive and highly personal. It was the night of mid-autumn festival, same lanterns, same moon, same place; but things were so different as the year before.

Different companion, where people come and go. Different friendships, when you learn further about them. Different mindset, with what you learn from your work and life. Different world, where wars and disasters flood the daily news.

Listening to Savage Garden's To the Moon and Back while writing this, so would you be my baby?

Wen Xin

Sunday, September 7, 2014

20 Facts about Myself

1. I am picky but not fussy when it comes to food. It is better to ask me the number of food I eat. But I don't mind eating food I didn't like, I just need to shut one eye, or two.

2. I turned semi vegetarian in April 2012 after a dining experience. It was a good gathering but it changed my life. I never look at meat and animal the same way as before.

3. I had a huge crush on Cristiano Ronaldo for a good 3-4 years when I was 12. He was a huge source of inspiration and I cried once when my family members insulted him.

4. I currently own 21 shoes in Canberra and probably more than 10 shoes in Malaysia.

5. I have been baking since I was 12. It all started with my mom's weekly baking until I took over. I don't bake often recently, but if I do bake, it must be for some special occasions.

6. I can never play team sports, because I am never good enough and am very conscious under the watchful eyes of team members and spectators.

7. The food that will make me cheat on the vegetarian diet would be chicken.

8. I have been working out consistently for the fifth year and I am loving every single minute of it. It's the only time where I don't think.

9. I own 4 musical instruments. Mastered 1 of them, self learned and abandoned 3 of them.

10. My first best friend is Vicky from kindergarten. She has straight hair with a pony tail, thin and slim figure. I was jealous of her.

11. I have a pair of very tiny hands. I was called 'Baby Hand' by a friend in high school. Reaching an octave on a piano and holding chords in guitar are huge pains.

12. I believe in numerology and Feng Shui for I believe everything happens for a reason and can be explained.

13. I talk to myself occasionally/frequently and I know I am not the only one.

14. My body clock sets at 7-8am, no matter what time I sleep.

15. I used to hate my natural curls. Now I learn to embrace it but I still straighten it whenever I go out for events/parties.

16. I wish to know a bit of every single thing instead of specialising. But I am still a confused child in this.

17. I first learn how to ride a motorcycle with a cruiser, I felt like the coolest rider ever. But I have phobia in cycling or riding a bike, for I fell once as a patron when I was 12.

18. I like to plan and organise things but I am a bad follower, for my planning is unrealistic and ambitious.

19. I had been to 10 concerts and I feel too old for concerts these days. I simply don't have the energy.

20. I am a Malaysian and I miss home dearly.

I did not get a tag but for some reason I want to do this tag. I tag friends who are reading this, I know there are a handful of you. Share with me 20 facts about yourself, in any form will do. Blog, Instagram, Facebook, etc. Leave me a link with your post, for I would love to know more about you, old or even friends who aren't close.

Wen Xin

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Mid Semester

Amidst the procrastination and in the state of demotivated, the semester is coming to a 2 weeks break. Not too much has happened or developed for the past 7 weeks, but it is definitely somewhat life defining. The first step is difficult, I can't seem to bring myself to walk forward and never look back.

I am still torn with choices and desires. Though I might have an overwhelming desire and deep passion to change or create things, I am being limited by financial constraints and constant worries about the future. I lose freedom where most of my compatriots have. I looked at them with a twinge of jealousy, yet I have to constantly remind myself that I have to be grateful.

One does get tired of fighting, I have been fighting since I was 12. It has been a decade, there are darts of pain, jolts of panic, cold times with failure, drenching guilt and waves of emotional breakdowns with tears of frustration. On a positive note, an extraordinary chain of events did make the decade filled with jumble of memories, surge of excitement and a sense of pride.

What is ahead is a ferocious challenge, it is something that I need to figure out and once and for all, convince myself for good. I am hit by a sudden shaft of determination, but I will have to make up my mind, and stop the other thoughts or actions.

Looking at my annual dedication on National Day, it hit me deeply that I miss home. At current point, home is unreachable and home is the future. Home is where I continue my fight, but whatever I am building here, is my weapons for the future. My next task, is to choose a weapon and polish it.

This is War,
Wen Xin