Sunday, December 8, 2013

Start of Summer

I met an acquaintance today, he asked me if I regretted going to Australia. I frowned, going to Australia is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me to date. However, I am afraid I have regretted coming back for summer break.

It has been 2 weeks since I came back, it started off rough and dull, but is going on a really good pace. I got what I have wished for. An internship, a healthy family, a group of lovely friends, a commitment with my volunteer work, weekly gym, a couple of projects in hand and a satisfied semester result.

I never gotten homesick during the four months, but I do think about the people occasionally. I love seeing the faces I used to hang out with. But at the same time, they remind me of the things that I am unhappy before. 

I realised my love for city life has faded during my Sydney trip. I dislike the traffic and the crowd last time but I didn't mind, I thought that was normal. Until I see Canberra, I see life. I was a little shocked to realise, when I was Canberra, I lose the grip on reality. Canberra is a beautiful paradise, and I guess I have really fallen in love deeply with Canberra. Coming back to Kuala Lumpur, I get back in touch with reality. And reality is harsh.

I landed myself an internship that I have always wanted, it reminded me of the competition and corporate rules to live with. I returned to the gym workout I loved, only to find out all the familiar faces are gone. I went back to my volunteer work, and it reminded me of the discipline and conformity despite the rewarding returns and sense of pride. I was at home, and it reminded me of the hardship of kinship.

I wonder, what is wrong with me.

Wen Xin