Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Shaken, Not Stirred

Being able to relive a dream after it was crushed a year ago, I am still in state of unbelieving that I made it to an overseas dream. One of the significant realisation was, a growing patriotism burns in me. I realise I love my country more than ever, even though I am not politically aware or socially active.

Despite all the complaints we have for our country, one can't question the love for the country for which it is Home. The nation is probably shaken, by the recent ruling of He who must not be named. I am not shocked, for I have expected the outcome. Truthfully, the outcome is saddening.

Me, myself is a free thinker. I wouldn't classify myself an atheist, as I do believe in God exists in general, but not in specific form. I pray to God occasionally and ask for His blessing. When my wish is granted, I thank Him before I retire for the night.

Being in the multi racial community, we are particularly exposed to a few Gods. I have the utmost respect to each religion and God as it spreads good values and enhances the beliefs of humanity, despite with all the negativities going on. I have always been interested listening to my friends sharing their religion stories, for I have zero knowledge and exposure on. But the decision has sadden me because it has shun me away from understanding the religion, and further dividing me from the community.

The outcome has made it exclusive, and made me felt as if I am inferior for not belonging to that category. 5 years in my secondary school, I listened to the daily prayer. I could recite the whole prayer back then, I could still remember phrases of it. Whenever there is a formal event with prayer, I look down and have my hands held together as a form of respect. I was particularly reluctant to hold my hands up during a ceremony with comrades because I don't truly relate to the act at that point. But I learned, it was nothing insulting, it is a form of honour as a nation's practice.

It is a shame if the outcome is made for other intentions. It is also an insult to the religion, country and countryman if the decision is made not for the nation's best. This reminded me of my fate last week. I was rejected by fellow countrymen despite expressing my best interest and best ability to serve. We can all go hoo-hah for democracy, but can we trust the majority to go for how things should be done, rather than how things are asked to be done? 

It is a shame if the outcome has been manipulated. It is also an insult to me and the constitution if the decision is made not for the organization's best. I don't question the outcome but I am evaluating my beliefs. Some spend a lifetime defending their values and beliefs, some fight for it relentlessly deserves a salutation, some remains in doubts, like me. I believe in my beliefs, but happenings have shown me it might be a lost cause.

Do we just give in and say 'this is dirty ol' politics? Can we continue our beliefs but fight no more for it? 

'I believe in nothing, not in peace and not in war.
I believe in nothing, but the truth in who we are.'

100 Suns - 30 Seconds to Mars

The belief might have been shaken, but definitely, not stirred,
Wen Xin