The most painful and depressing truth revealed, are the principles that you are holding on to are victimising and dehumanising. Instantly, it feels like a stab in the heart, in the heart of a societys by-product. I think my Sociology tutor has a hidden power, like telepathy from Matt Parker in Heroes or mind reading from Edward Cullen in Twilght. For he, always get me into a deep and dark thinking zone every Monday noon, with each lesson higlighting my questions on life.
A friend of mine once stated, 24 hours a day is not enough, if we have unlimited hours, I can do so much more things. I said 24 hours are enough, for people will do exactly the same thing with more unnecessary things, life will be wasted. I have been asking myself to study since last week, telling myself to tidy up the room since 3 hours ago. If procrastination is a power, I am a hero.
Ever since studying Economics in pre-university, I stand by the point that efficiency and productivity should be what we are doing to solve problems in this complicated world. I have been practising to be well-organised in each thing. I have a clothes rotation for college everyday, even my travel mate is able to tell my choice of style each day. Well, the style is not intentional but each piece of cloting is. I have a daily timetable planned so perfectly that I don't follow, since my level of discipline has reduced so much.
I hate delays and being late as it is a form of inefficiency. I emphasise efficiency in family's practices until it annoys my mother. I have been telling myself to be productive as it is a race of time until my Sociology hero said why are people immersing themselves into the pathetic rat race of mankind? Efficiency is the biggest vicitmisation where people are pursuing maximum profit and utility everyday, chasing wealth at the least possible time.
Sarcastically, the arrow is pointing at each of the student because they are the ones studying how to maximise profit for the future. And the institution which is maximising the number of students when students are allowed to study 2 months later after enrolment.
Suddenly, I feel lost than ever, like my life has lost its direction. Before this, the path is winding. Now, there is no path, no principles, no values, no meaning, no soul! 24 hours a day is enough to fix a life and to heal a soul. But there is no substance or a catalyst to initiate it. Even there is, the reaction doesn't last and the counter reactitn is way stronger. God, I am speaking Chemistry, definitely has lost myself.
24 hours again,