Monday, July 9, 2012

Note on Turning 20: Keep it Simply Sweet

Each year, this is the day I can never not post a blogpost about. It is not a very special day, but on this very day each year, it never fails me to have such great pang of gratitude in me. All thanks to people around me, making an ordinary day for them a big special day for me.

I turned 20 on the 8th, auspicious they said, agreed I would ;) Look at this blogpost posted in conjunction with the Beijing Olympic 2008, the characteristic of a 8th person. I flushed with embarrassment with my childish usage of English at my tender age. But I still say, I still fit in the mould of a 8th person, in better shape after almost 4 years.

Turning 20, I am finally able to drop the 'teen' behind my age. This year in particularly, whenever people ask about my age, I hesitantly said 19, most of the times I said 20. Why? Because I am sick of being a teen. The teen years are rebellious and naughty, nevertheless dramatic. High school dramas, little boy crushes here and there, puberty, pre-menstrual syndrome, exam stress...

I wanna leave that era behind me. I vividly remembered when Beyonce turned 30 this year, she said something about being 29 is weird, because she cannot address herself as a woman. Being 20 is definitely something signficiant, well of course 21 is the age where you are officially an adult with the golden key. But to me, 20 is the age where I officially became a lady, advancing to the adventures of adulthood with thrilling excitement and full throttle. This year so far, has been a great year of experiences and opportunities, has well-prepared me and still preparing me for the next decade of defining my future.

The next decade, will be years of pursuing tertiary studies, building a career, finding love, building a family of my own, and owning assets, etc. Responsibilities are piling up, but intimidating yet exciting. Sometimes, it is not that you cannot do it, it is just you don't know how to do it yet. I heard complaints from friends, 'Oh I felt so old'. No offence to my dear friends, I have to disagree that statement very much. At 20, you have almost everything in the world at your feet. I felt younger than ever, being able to venture into a couple of adventures this year, such as the real world of business and economics and the greatness of volunteerism.

On a rather pessimistic-but-not-quite note, this year has been a series of uncertainties for me. Having to recover from a shocking pre-university result which takes months to recover, to facing the real world of hidden hypocrisy and the much-feared office politics, to involving in business and management opportunities, to drastic change in degree course preferance, to no scholarship to fund my overseas dreams.

Of course, it is not all gloomy all way, I have learned so much and so fast. Sometimes I really wish time can slow down at times, for me to grasp all things and reflect myself. I was going to Keep this appreciation post Simply Sweet, but I cannot help it since I don't blog often nowadays :P Okay, I shall proceed to dedicate tokens of gratitude to all people that I cannot thank enough for their effort for my day.

First and foremost, to my family where my home is and my heart lies. My parents have fought hard to ensure a good life for me. It has been difficult for them, where they will have to hide all problems. Thank you and I ensure you I will try my utmost best for your lives ahead. To my rebellious baby brothers, thank you for all the hard and fun times. I know I am fat, but I am healthy and fit as ever.

Secondly, I really have to give it to my girlfriends, Joanne, Saik Ley, Su Min, Shu Tyng, Angie, Michelle, Phoebe, Cassandra, Cheng Ying, Diyana Azman, Yi En, and Deidre. Whom all came together and celebrated with me a night before. It was a heartfelt occasion to see my gang of good friends, just to share time over a meal. Though it was scattered group conversations, but it was a heartwarming catching up with a great camaraderies of high school! Additionally, I had a complimentary firework display in conjunction with my birthday! (Oh well, it was actually in conjunction with Settlers Day 2012 and the launching of Felda Tower). I cannot thank them more, they never fail to make the day extra special for me every year <3

Thirdly, to Joanne, Su Min, Angie and Roxanne. Whom gave me a hair makeover for the night. Thank you for the surprise and I really love the hair. It was a warm glow of contentment to be able to dress pretty together, I did feel like a princess, you guys pampered me too much :P

To special gifts (you know who you are), I love it all, and will treasure it whole-heartedly.

To MVFRA team, thank you for the birthday song and allowing me to serve alongside great people like you, the true unsung heroes of the country. Although I have not officially qualified to contribute and serve, but it is of my great honour and pleasure to learn under your guidance and supervision. There are much more to learn, skills, gestures, attitude, courage and communication. There are still much more to learn to catch your language ;)

Nextly, to birthday texts and calls, Joanne, Lee Fun, Miss Yeap, Aunty Mimi, Ben, Huey Wern, Soo Yee, Rebecca, Fiona, Michelle, Hanani, Zack, Saik Ley, Yun Sun, Cheng Ying, Brian, and the MVFRA team, a sincere thank you for wishing me and being a part of the first day of my new chapter, I truly appreciate it. To all the Facebook wishes, thank you so much, I am sorry for not replying on the day, I made a vow 2 years back, I will never check Facebook on my birthday and holiday trips. It is a need to reply each of you one by one with a better time because if you spend 10 or 20 seconds writing on my wall, I will have to thank you personally with more time. Reading each wishes made me swelled with warmth and joy, thank you for all the lovely wishes.

My sincere apologies to you if I have left your name out, I thank all of you for reading this far. But I am not done updating my day yet :P

8am. I was widely awake for quite some time on my bed, just waiting for the door bell alarm. Three and a half hours later, I was in this house at the so-called upper class area for a birthday party, dressed in a very hot outfit. Not my birthday party, but her party. It didn't hit me about 'that should be me', because I really did have a great time serving and observing. Seeing the smile on the birthday girl and her friends surely had inspired and touched me in some ways.

12pm. 'It was AWESOME', this boy told me. He was soaking wet in his sweat, but he was smiling so wide, that I can't help but to smile with him. He was really cute.

'Come, pass it to the lady', the mother was referring me as the lady. I didn't really know why but the term 'lady' hit me. As mentioned, a new decade of new things, I can't really imagine how it would turn out but heaving a deep breath, I will try.

They were playing water, spraying water with powerful hose for a long 10 minutes. I surely need that to reduce heat. Their faces showed they were having the time of their lives. Relating back to me, this is the time of my life. It has been a while I am lost, it has been difficult to get things back on track, to fix a life that is aimless and directionless. It is not as bad as it sounds, yet, I think the description is appropriate.

Finishing my event, the next hour I was in this house of a powerful and influential man who served the country his whole life. I was deeply inspired when he spoke in a ceremony 2 weeks ago. I shook hands with him and got a pat at the back from him. Pride and success come in all form, I don't know him in person, but he speaks with pride and integrity, celebrates with success and fame.

1pm, the journey back home was a little torturous, the rush of heat was killing me inside out under the suit. But knowing it was fruitful and fulfilling, it was worth it.

2.30pm. Reaching home, freshen up and had a quick rest. I was settled for shopping, just as what I enjoyed on my last birthday. Hit the mall, by myself. Except for this year, it was a shopping spree, not window shopping :) A quick meet up with the bestie and shared half an hour of shopping together.

7pm. My family joined me for a cozy dinner, ordered Macaroni and Cheese after an overhelming craving :) Got a cake, it was a really simple yet costly cake.

10pm. Spent the rest of the night at home, watching Wimbledon finals, it would be better if it was Djokovic in the finals. Nevertheless it was a great match in a stars-studded Grand Slam finals.

11pm. Then it was the political debate. I am not a political person but the debate did spark up something in me. Of course the political content matters, but it was the poise of a leader should possess makes me give me a sudden shaft of determination, that I need to change something in me. There were moments of powerful adrenaline for me as a politics dummy, that me as a Malaysian, knows nothing about the country.

2am. I was watching the crowning of the Wimbledon. Darn it, Andy Murray, you made me cried on my second day being 20. His sheer emotion in delivering an emotional speech, to me, overshadowed Federer's win. Congrats Federer. Murray, one had fought so hard for the finals, overcome and face the immense pressure of Englishman to be crowned as champion since 1936. It was heart-wrenching to see him paying tribute while glistening with tears. Thank you Murray, you have shown what a great fighter should be and what a man should cry for, for great loss, but not for girls.

Thank you if you read it till here. It was a really long and winding one. It took almost 3 hours to write this in front of teevo and 2 hours of editing. It's another slice of life in a brand new chapter, another decade of growing and era of building, hoping for next level of enlightenment and chains of events.

Thanks to you again, for those who care and love.

Much love,
Wen Xin