Sunday, October 16, 2011

The End of a Beginning

Seriously, how many ends will we have? There is only one which is death. But through the journeys and chapters of life, there are countless beginnings where it starts from countless ends. For example, when my mother gave birth to me, it's the end of a 9 month pregnancy with the beginning of a new-born's exploration of life. When I fell while learn to walk, it's the end of babyhood with the beginning of childhood where things are magical. When I finished from UPSR to PMR, from PMR to SPM, it's the end of an exam which I would thought it's the hardest at that stage with the beginning of a harder one. Funny yet ironic. When you first get a boyfriend, it's the end of singlehood with a beginning to a relationship with someone, a special someone whom you would wanna share your life with. When you have broken up with the first boyfriend, it's the end of a relationship with a beginning of another relationship with a better approach and a tougher heart to love.

And now, with the example which is relative to me. When I am going to have my finals in Tuesday, finishing in 3 weeks time, it's the end of a winding journey with the beginning of the path to undergraduate studies, to a hopeful happening journey outside home. The manual countdown on my room indicates there's only one day left :S

You might wanna ask, are you prepared? I wouldn't say yes yet I wouldn't deny. Perhaps it have been a year long difficult journey, my confidence level is gradually decreasing, with a negative thought that 'no matter what I do, it's just not enough!' I have not worked hard to the utmost, I have not been studying day and night (but I do have my afternoon nap with books sharing half of my bed, it's just some peculiar habits I have, and yes, you may laugh), I have not been disciplined and motivated. I am afraid it might cost me my dream, a dream that I dreamt since I was Form 5.

I do believe God is fair. He will give you the returns you deserved. I know my degree of effort isn't worth my desired ATAR, but I do pray hard that He will bless me for the next 3 weeks. I thank God for showing me the motivations and blessings I need. Cristiano Ronaldo whom I idolised for years, yes I would try my best from now, eventhough it's just 3 weeks, to show my dream. Oprah Winfrey whom is so inspirational and powerful, where her show gave me strength to achieve, the heart for love and the will to continue. Mr B.L. whom is the true idol whom I met last Saturday (so starstrucked!) whom wished me with his words and a pat on the waist. My gym instructor who reminded me to 'chill, mate'. Family and friends whom show support, advices and love whom I am so grateful to have them.

Complaning about the lack of effort is no help to the battle, I pray for the best and I hope God will show me the path and the right way. Thank you, and thank you for all. Good luck to all of my comrades, may the best is with you.