Wednesday, September 21, 2011

In the Reign of The End

How time flies, I have been in college for almost two years. Remembering when I delightedly accepted the scholarship, pursuing a course I never heard before. Now, I am on the verge of graduating, in the reign of the end. What is left are two days of non-studying and 6 days of final exams.

To be honest, I looked forward to the last day. Yes, it is indeed an upsetting news that there are friends you wouldn't hang out with. But, what matters more to me, is crossing the finishing line after almost two years of hard work, ending a road where it is winding all the way, and starting a new journey.

Perhaps it is really wrong in the very beginning, I have expected so much. I remembered spending time daydreaming life in a new school, embarking on a perfect college life, being friends with people all around the world, things not surrounding gossips and dramas. However, it all turns out the opposite. I blamed no one but be grateful to God, after all, this is a worthy scholarship, what else should I complain?

Two years, I have made some valuable friendships, I see different people from different parts of the world. I have to say the students' superior social status and financial background (yes, it's peer pressure) have made my life a bit harder. Not that I am jealous (oh well, a bit), but I was educated in a way that I learned to see faces and psychological aspect of different people. Perhaps I inherited my mom's genes, we read faces through gestures and mindsets. Not that I read minds and moods like the Twilight heartthrob does, but more to reading one's personality.

Probably in these two terms, I saw so many new things, you may call me observant =) From immaturity, poor leadership, backstabbing, alienation, emotional, racist, double-face agent, spoiled brat, to maturity, multi-talent, good follower, independent, decisive. The list goes on, I would say the bad exceeds the good. Don't get me wrong, I am not critising people, making me God-like, I am many of the bad qualities too. But sometimes it disappoints and annoys me much to see, yet I wouldn't make a voice to it.

Today, pretty much an emotional day. I wasn't, till I reached school and things triggered my bewildered mind. I saw more and more stuff today, not sure if it's stuff I want to see. I found out something as well, which upset me at first, but I felt relieved after being blindfolded for months. Yes, it's definitely feeling relieved and good. Come to think of it, I am stupid and narcissus to even think of that way.

Nevertheless, a cute lil 6 year old Spanish boy tried to console me in the bus, having a lovely chat about issues in the bus and a blossom red rose given by a birthday girl and a short nap, managed to put a smile on my face. Yes I am not doing any revisions for now, and probably not tomorrow, and on the mock up day. But I am feeling good and positive this way.

Thanks for reading till this far, it's quite a long and whiny one.