The moment you are hit by waves of realisation, you are so angry at yourself for making such stupid and silly mistake. The thing is the thought appeared on my mind: 'leave it here and you will lose it'. But you thought: 'nahh I won't. I'm smart enough not to lose it'.
Half an hour later, the jolt of awareness came to your mind. Oh sh*t, only to think that 'oh I should have listened to my thoughts'. It feels like my mind is teasing me 'I told you so'.
I feel lost, in myself, there's an alien in me. Who are you, who am I, blood is all I see. The alien voice in my head is talking to me all the time. I tried hard to reject, tried hard to fight, but....
I tried to be someone else, but nothing seemed to change. I know now, this is who I really am inside, finally find myself, fighting for a chance I know now, this is who I really am.
Mistakes have been done. It's the past. Redemption is to be done. It's the key to future. Sorry is invalid. Making a change is appropriate.