Tuesday, March 23, 2010

So what if.

As soon as we grow up, we will soon realise the path that we are taking are no longer smooth. As if we are climbing a hill, to achieve the hilltop is not in a blink of eye, it requires a long journey. There will be so many obstacles to stop your way to the top. The true colours of people, the difficulty of challenges, the harshness of reality life, the changes in yourself and more.

So what if I am not sociable?
It is not that I am all alone,
It gives me more peace that I need.

So what if I have short fingers and tiny hands?
It is not that I will be refrained from playing instruments.
I am working on final grade of piano, starting as a violin beginner and hopefully learn guitar as well.

So what if I do not own an iPod?
It is not that I will die or suffer,
I can still survive on my Express Music, laptop and radio.
And I can still get albums from Negar :P

So what if friends are not there when I'm down?
It is not that they abandon me,
It is just that I choose to face matter myself,
Learn to get up whenever I fall down.

So what if I don't have a boyfriend now?
It is not that I am desperate for guys.
It is just I enjoy being single and not want to be tied up so soon.
And my focus now is still on my studies.

So what if I hate my studies now?
It is not about winning top spot,
It is just about the process of learning and how I take it,
Everything will not be as easy as I think.

So what if my life is miserable now?
It is not the end of my life,
Because I'm still learning and changing.

*updated this in Mathematics class :) *

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Rejuvenated, finally.

Most of you know, my so-called favourite number/lucky number is 7. So what's so special about number 3? On the 3rd of the week (if you count Monday as 1st day), 3rd day of the 3rd month, I was having my second driving test at 3pm and completed it at 3 pass 3 (suppose to be quarter past 3), my test was scheduled at the 3rd section of the 3rd session, and coincidentally I was the 3rd person to be tested. Honestly, I am not joking. There are easily 9 threes already. No big deal perhaps, I was just amazed.


I gratefully thank God for granting me a 'lulus' at last. I passed the driving test with much self-encouraging, average expectation, a little fear and nervous, not to forget, in a dramatic way as I nearly fail, again. Frankly speaking, I was glad that I failed on 5th February, because I finally learned some valuable lessons and rejuvenated to a better person, I think. With much more positive attitudes now, I learn to face challenges with better aim :) The failure opened my eyes to many things, things that I neglected last time, because my both eyes were just on the prize, but not the real effort and the process. Oh, I just love being inspired.

5th of March, 4.06pm.
I was on my way back from school, in school bus with unfamiliar people, heading to the mall to meet my buddy, you know who you are :) Throughout this journey, I stared out of the bus window, looked at the raindrops, enjoyed the view of Kuala Lumpur, witnessed a deadly lightning strike from the sky to no-where at enormous speed, and I was trying to review myself for having already 6 weeks in school. What did I see? I saw nothing, I still cannot feel the sense of belonging, everything is still so blank and I nearly lost myself, forget who I actually am. Yes, I am still working on it, and no worries, I am facing with optimism, really.
The bus stopped at this luxurious condominium, I went down the bus. It was raining cats and dogs, raindrops were covering my glasses, my vision became blurred and I was lost. With two heavy bags on both of my shoulders, I glanced to the left and to the right, not knowing which direction to go. A guard was looking at me, perhaps wondering why was I walking to and fro under the rain. I finally recognised the building that I supposed to enter, crossed the road with much fear. Ran really fast on the sidewalk and I made it finally.
Standing at entrance of Convention Centre, I was all wet, soaked with those acid rain. It was like I bathed with my clothes on. After finished using the packet of tissue, I had this long walk through the Aquaria-parking-KLCC tunnel. Soaking wet with red top, long jeans and a pair of Everlast slip-on, I sensed some passer-by were looking at me. I felt the chilling cold with the air-conditioning blowing towards me as I walked. But I was fine and I met her, alas.
Meet the Year 2 boy, Watanabi.
Isn't he the CUTEST CREATURE in the world?
It was love at the first sight with his cute act, big eyes, chubby face, etc. I think he loathes me as I always demand a 'Hi' and 'Bye' from him, poked and pinched him, insisted on having a picture with him, he refused :( Anyway, this picture is enough to melt my heart :P