Friday, December 31, 2010

Biddin' Farewell to 2010.

A year is going to pass in about 12 hours. People says time flies. Personally I don't think time flies in a blink of an eye, the ups and downs in a year are definitely a roller-coaster ride, filled with events, smiles, tears, successes, falls. Most importantly, changes and growths.

To me, 2010 is definitely a change. Change in study environment, personality and life. This post is a summary of 2010, enjoy.

No doubt, this is the most significant one. A two-year scholarship to study in an international school which I would never thought of going (never knew it existed too!). Although New South Wales Higher School Certificate (HSC) is a longer course, but what matters to me is the process of studying. The international curriculum, is a difficult one to adapt. But it all paid off when I became prefect and the Dux of Year 11 which came totally unexpected. Furthermore, a trip to Penang and Langkawi with schoolmates is a bonus, not to mention, it's free of charge ;)

HSC's English as Second Language (ESL)'s area of study focuses on 'Belonging', while year 11 focused on 'Journey'. Both themes imply to my situation as a newcomer in this foreign environment in Australian International School Malaysia (AISM). My ESL teacher Mr T said in order to feel belonged in a group, one must forfeit something. I cannot agree more, because I am reluctant to give up my focus and to be involved in high school dramas, I don't really feel belonged. But this earns me peace that I have craved for long.

With my very first visit to Gold Class cinema watching Twlight Saga: Eclipse and a grand birthday dinner, my 18th birthday was a blast. Thanks to this bunch of girls, family, Negar and those who wish. People says 'I feel old during birthday'. I hate that statement, birthday is a blessing. Even though it does not have to be a great celebration, at least, feel grateful.

2010 is definitely remarkable when it comes to this. 5 concerts in 1 year. 3 concerts in July, a crazy month indeed. Not to mention, all 5 are free of charge! As a die-hard fan of Tokio Hotel, 50 minutes of showcase is a satisfaction, though I chose concert over International Award Practice Camp :P A win to Usher's concert is an early birthday present :) Another win to Jason Derulo's showcase plus a Meet & Greet session pass are a major bonus. Not to mention I met JD in person and hugged him for a second! MTV World Stage is the main bomb, having to see Tokio Hotel again and Katy Perry performed, if I survived World Stage, I can survive any concert! The last one would be Paramore, a treat from Jelica, rockzone!

The previous 17 years of my life, I NEVER camp before. For a person who never been to a camp, I went 4 camps this year! That is not really much, but it is a great achievement to me. Back to Nature camp at Awana Genting is a lucky win, slept in longhouse, abseiling, buffet-styled meals, flying fox, trek, winning team.... International Award Kayaking Camp, the real camp. Horrible campsite during monsoon season, the heat, a visit to Orang Asli village, 83km in 4 days 3 nights. And I survived. Although being looked down by a comrade, but it motivates me, I will never give up! AGC's Church Camp, it's not for me, but it is insipiring. Kiwanis Youth Camp, the great deal. Escorted by Emergency Unit, had fire rescue and water rescue, rappelling...

Nothing to say about success. Failures! First driving test, Grade 8 piano, handling problems. But it's part of growth isn't it.

Oh yeahh I worked for a week! My first part time job! And the pay was pretty =)

Oh yeahh LOVE. Oh well, no love but crushes. It has been pretty fun having crushes. Like mom said, observe first and have fun ;)

Goodbye awesome 2010. Hello great 2011!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Resolutions. Done!

I did not blog for almost 2 months, busy occupied with work is an excuse, the power of Facebook is overcoming Blog is a fact, lack of blogging desire is a contributing factor.

But my blogging urge is back, and I hope it continues =)

As the end of the year is approaching, as a yearly tradition, I reviewed my resolutions which I made a year ago and throughout the year.

An AWESOME 2010! ✓
AGC Youth Church Camp [1112-1412] ✓
Back to Nature Trip @ Awana [0708 - 0808] ✓
Cake Marathon [0210] ✓
Excel in academic [1012] ✓

Exercise regularly and consistently [FAILED]
I certainly did go to gym quite often, but not regularly; involved in school sports, but not actively; workout and exercise at home, but not consistently.

Excursion @ Sunway Lagoon [2804] ✓
Face problems with optimism and rational ✓
First Part Time Job [0410 - 1010] ✓
First Paycheck [2910] ✓
Food Marathon @ Klang [0607] ✓
Get my driving license [0503] ✓
Hair Straightener [0408] ✓
Happy 18th Birthday [0807 & 1007] ✓
Ice-skating [3006] ✓
International Award Camp [2011 - 2311] ✓
International Award Practice Camp [0105] ✓
Jason Derulo Album [3007] ✓
Jason Derulo Showcase [2107] ✓
Kayaking ✓
Kiwanis Youth Camp [1712-2012] ✓
Learn to play violin ✓

Lose weight [FAILED]
Obviously a fail, and I gained weight. Fullstop, need not any more elaboration. Haha.

Meet Greet Hug Jason Derulo [2107] ✓
MTV World Stage 2010 [3107] ✓
Music Showcase [1509] ✓

Pass Grade 8 Practical Piano [FAILED-2908]
This is sort of expectable but I did wish for a miracle. Only have 6 months to prepare plus lack of contributed effort from me myself, I am not upset with the failure.

Paramore LIVE in KL [1910] ✓

Read 18 novels [FAILED]
Achieved a total of 14.

Senior Production [2306] ✓
Straight 1A's in SPM [1103] ✓
Study hard & smart ✓
Tokio Hotel Concert [0105] ✓

Upgrade my piano skills [FAILED]
Obviously a fail. BUT I did try produce some videos and compose some songs =)

Usher Live in KL [0707] ✓
Year 11 Trip [1608-2008] ✓

So, 5 fails. I am satisfied and no doubt, 2010 is an awesome and incredible year =)

Friday, October 22, 2010


After all, we are just a bunch of online narcissists, who are searching the belonging of identity in the cyberspace.

That's my latest facebook status, inspired by CLEO's article. I couldn't agree more after reading the article, only to realise, how much our society's mindset is shaped through the existence of social networking sites nowadays.
The study of the level of narcissism said:
  • Facebook provides an ideal setting for narcissists to monitor their looks, permitting them to thrive on shallow relationship while shunning genuine warmth and empathy.
  • Those who spend their time updating their profile on the site are more likely to be narcissists or suffer from low self esteem
  • The study is defined as a “ a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for administration, and an exaggerated sense of self- importance.”
  • From the gender prospective ,men displayed more self – promotional content in the ‘about me’ and notes section, whereas women demonstrated more self- promotional in the main photo section.
  • Those who scored higher on the test checked their facebook more often each day than those who did not.

Interesting facts aren't they?

The statuses I post are mostly inspired by observed happenings in daily life, daily complex emotions and inspirational people or things. I just don't agree on posting up private details, random and normal happenings, lovey-dovey wall posts, whining complaints, sympathy and attention seeking statuses.

Using Facebook is like staring at yourself in an online mirror. Statuses that you post, games that you play, profile informations that are available, pages that you like, those self-taken photos of you, all of those reflect your personality. And somehow, it is interesting, or rather annoying to see people post up stuff that makes me wanna click the red X button at the top right button.


Though how much I want to deny this, I just couldn't lie to myself to admit that, I am one of them, I am a narcissist. But, not a huge one.



Sunday, October 3, 2010

It's all about Glam.

What do I love about Adam Lambert?
What is there not to love? He was already outstandingly flamboyant in American Idol with his crazy arrangements of song choices and high octave vocals. He is no doubt one of the greatest Idol contestants although he lost his crown to Kris Allen. He is not afraid to be himself, to tell the world about his sexuality and not being embarassed about it. That is really inspiring because he leads his life with eloquence and honesty. He dares to be different although it is controversial and might not be accepted by the public. Most importantly, he promises to be there for the fans' entertainment and he never let the fans down with his awesome rock music.

Why you should win the exclusive tickets from DiGi?

Because I am a loyal DiGi user since 2004 when I first awarded a handphone after scoring straight A's in UPSR. I have never changed or lost the number ever since 6 years ago. Till now I still love the number, and of course DiGi as my telecommunication supplier. Digi had given me a chance to see All American Rejects for free last October, and I hope I will have the chance again from DiGi too see Adam Lambert's Glam Nation Tour. Because I want to be part of the glittery glamorous concert which I know will be awesome with such flamboyant entertainer.


I remembered blogging about 'I Dare to Dream' in June about admiring Adam Lambert as a truly inspiring entertainer.

Partially thanks to Adam Lambert, I am inspired to compose piano songs melody and produce videos for fun and leisure. 'Whataya Want From Me' is my forth video and I am dedicating it to Adam Lambert as one of my inspiration source. The video is a remix of an acapella version and my piano melody. Although the aftermath of the remix does not really work, but I am satisfied because it's my first time remixing :)

FYI, this is a contest blogpost for Adam Lambert's concert contest by DiGi.
For more information, please visit:

Wen Xin

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Testing 1 2 3

Hallo people, I know it has been awhile since my last update. I just cannot seem to find the time to update though I got the blogging materials and loads of things to whine.

Year 11 is going to end by next Friday with exams, seriously cannot wait for the 2 weeks break. There are loads to plan, tonnes to do, and a messy life to fix.

Yesterday was musical showcase, I was fortunate to perform in a string ensemble, playing violin after 6 months of learning. Though my part was just some simple chords, but it was a lil scary to perform as a unskilled learner. But overall, I was really inspired after watching other performances, to realise so many talented people doing impressive stuff.

But Malaysia day, which is today, have been really very unproductive and uninspiring. It started with an Adam Lambert dream, I hope it comes true though. But at the moment I opened my eyes, things were awful and I wasted my day watching teevo and using the internet.

Oh well, not regretting a thing here :P Okay, shall end here, see y'all soon. Y'all? Do I even have readers after the Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr's domination?

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Getting back up.

Picture taken on 22nd August 2009, 5.10pm.

As posted as my Facebook status: A failure came knocking my door today. Yes, I failed my Grade 8 piano practical exam with 93 marks, 7 to go to pass. I am not upset, not mad, not disappointed. I kind of expected it, although was hoping some miracle to happen. Regarding to the failure, a few parties to be blamed including me and a few solid reasons to explain it. But, after all, I thank God for failing me this time, as I learned the lesson and gained the experience. Now I know, what to do for the next attempt. Thank Jeremy Kimber, the examiner, for failing me. *not sarcasm!*

Failure happens all the time in our life. Yes, it is surely depressing at times, think of the time, effort and sometimes money that you have given out. But what matters, is the process of failing that makes you get back up and shape you to be a better person. Yes, it is painful, sleep with teary eyes, become moody till there's hormone imbalance, lifeless with no direction and aim, and so on. But so what, sometimes it is just sad that you allow failure to conquer and control you, knowing that you should get over it and aim for the next success with a stronger and smarter you.

No fail, no success; no pain, no gain. I vow not to waste time anymore and start to deal with life. Pals, I hope you can face failures whole-heartedly with optimism and never give up. Fight for your life and be the winner.


Friday, August 6, 2010

MTV World Stage 2010

With continuous luck and loads of winnings, the month of July had been the craziest in 2010 by far. It began with going to Usher's Live in KL, winning Eclipse limited edition merchandises, celebrating birthday with Gold Class movie experience and a bunch of girlfriends, going Jason Derulo's showcase, meet and greet him, winning his album and at last, the highly-anticipated MTV World Stage Live in Malaysia 2010!

The crowd is covered with disposable ponchos during the heavy downpour. I think I can spot the umbrella I was holding, the tiny silver one at the middle. Though it was raining cats and dogs, the crowd's enthusiasm was still at a high level.

Local band, Bunkface was the first act. And they rocked the crowd with their popular catchy hits in both Malay and English. They have certainly made Malaysians proud. No doubt they are one of the best bands in Malaysia, Imma getting addicted to their songs now :)

Next, we have the gorgeous quintet from Korea, Wondergirls. Seriously, even with their big hit Nobody, I wasn't captivated by them. But after watching them live, these hot girls can dance. Their singing still doesn't appeal to me. But I was entertained really well by their nice outfits, sexy dances and catchy tunes.

They were the reason why I wanna go to World Stage so badly. After attending their concert in May, it's just almost impossible for a Tokio Hotel fan to not attend World Stage. The German rock band thrilled the 15000 fans after a long hour of wait. The boys shocked me with props from their European concert tour, thought I would never have a chance to see. The song choices were almost similar with the one in May, except 2 or 3 new songs and a few new elements into the performances. Overall, it was great to see them twice in 3 months. But it was just sad they didn't perform my favourite song, Alien. But still, I love them!

Alas, with a titbit of energy level left in me, I almost give up on continue the concert after hours of standing and dehydration, Katy Perry rocked the house! Though I wouldn't wanna admit this, but it was true that she owned the night! Dressed in a ballerina costume, fans were not excited to see it. But the stage set up was great with candyland as the theme. She sang a few of her new and old songs. And she thrilled us with guitar performances, both acoustic and electric guitars. She is no doubt, a great performer and entertainer!

The concert left me half dead and I cannot walk straight after that. It even landed me a week of being sick. There was even a point I felt like I am done with concerts. But no! World Stage is definitely worth it and I am not done with concerts. LOL.

But for these 2 months, I am gonna stop the craziness and head for a recovery, both physically and mentally. Not to mention, finals is around the corner. But, I am really excited for the getaway next week :)


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Crazy Frenzy.

For almost a month or so, concert goers, inlcuding me, have been spending endless hours on MTV website and organisers' website/facebook, tryna win the money-cant-buy passes to the highly-aniticipated MTV World Stage.

After countless attempts of spotting Junior and Bee on MTV website, which I failed and gave up. I tried other organisers' contest. Thank God, I won KLue magazine's contest with high pride. Because I won it with Tokio Hotel's help.

Challenge: Love Katy Perry, Tokio Hotel, Wonder Girls or Bunkface? Show us how devoted you are to music act via photos, illustrations, poem, etc - whatever it takes to catch our attention.

My Entry. Read it if interested. I am considered really lucky for this, as people are really dying for the exclusive passes. I participated on the last day, found out the contest on the last day, there are 3 different challenges for 20 pairs of passes, I suppose the competition is high and tight. But ya, thankfully, my effort isn't wasted and here comes MTV World Stage 2010!

I am really looking forward to this World Stage, to be part of the second consecutive World Stage that is going to be held in Malaysia. But it is just sad to see fans are just being too crazy, too extreme, too stupid.

The facebook of Xpax has become a trading place of sellers and buyers. People are taking the moeny-cant-buy condition as an advantage, sell it with a high price to those unfortunate one who wants to be part of the 15000 fans who are going to rock on this Saturday. But is it worth the fan's craziness for a glimpse of their idol? Perhaps it is a yes. There are people who actually bought 32 Tokio Hotel albums for 3 meet and greet passes who entitle them only 1 minute close up with the band.I would never do that. Other than cannot afford to, it is definitely not worthy.

People these day are really crazy and being fanatic for their idols, until I can say, they lost themselves living in the world of idol fantasy, waste their hard-earned money, precious time, hard effort, and many more.
Me myself is an example.

1st July - 16th July, I had mentally travelled to 15 countries around the world, getting 15 different puzzle pieces and participated in a Tokio Hotel worldwide contest, Humanoid Scavenger Hunt. The contest was really driving me and many die-hard fans to locate the puzzle pieces in different countries fansites with unreadable language. This is crazy I can say, to win 1 of the 15 prizes that are offered among hundred thousands or even millions of fans. But what I am impressed are co-operations of all fansites around the world, unity of fans giving hints each day and the international level of fans pariticipations.

Tadaa~ The 15 puzzle pieces!
I am deifinitely not going to win it, but being part of it, I am glad and not regretting it.

Call me crazy? There are more people are even crazier. I am just being crazy in a normal way and I wouldn't let my craziness affect what I am fighting for my studies, future and life now :)


Friday, July 23, 2010


It was like I have striked on some lucky charm, I won passes to Jason Derulo's showcase, made it as my second in this month, with a third one coming up in 7 days!
Once again, same as Usher, I am not a big fan, not even a normal fan, but just merely try my luck for the contest. Unexpectedly, I got it :)

Attending this showcase marked my very first time visiting a club. With my legal age now, I still not officially allowed for clubbing yet, oh dang another 3 years. But being able to experience it for a while, I am all satisfied :)

The place I stood wasn't really a good view, due to my height and being late. But somehow, I still enjoy standing concert which gives me the mood and the atmosphere to rock and to dance along with the crowd who goes crazy with Jason's well-toned body, professionally coordinated dance moves, unique vocals and charming personality.

This is what I wrote on my previous blogpost:
I was too engrossed in finishing this book until I miss a few calls, one of it is a pretty important as it is an once-a-lifetime golden opportunity. Oh well, I am really nervous yet exciting about, will reveal it soon :)

Attending a concert is not really an once-a-lifetime-golden opportunity, but THIS is, continue reading :)

I wrote this to AstroHitz:
I would like to meet Jason Derulo in person because I want him to be the first celebrity that I can get close with and the moment will be the most memorable one.

Winning the passes is already a surprised gift, but having the chance to meet and greet is certainly not beyond my expectation.

So, this is my experience and feelings:

With the media crew yelling 'HitzTV winners', I rushed to the front alongside 4 other winners. Then, our group was the first and I was the first to go in. It was a small backstage room, the air-conditioning is cold. Jason is wearing his leather jacket, looking extremely macho and big-sized in it, just like those athletics.

He dranked a cup of water and turned around to see us. 2 fan girls standing on the edge squeled, I was too shocked to utter a word and scream. Jason said HI, and came near us, squeezed to the centre, wide arms around five of us, but sadly, did not reach me. A few shots were taken, we were rushed out by the media crew.

I was the last to shake his hand, my tiny hand on his large palm, it was warm :) Deep inside of me, I know this is not the meet and greet session that I want. I took a deep breath. Can I have a hug, I said. Of course he would not refuse. 'Sure' he murmured. I was already hugging him, with my left side of my face lying on his chest, touching his silver studded leather jacket. I can feel one of his arms was on my right shoulder back. His body is really well-built and macho. Oh gosh, it was definitely a memorable moment, as I stated in the slogan.

Yes it was just a short one second hug, but that marked the climax of the day. 'The show was really awesome' I said after the hug. 'Oh Thanks Ya Sweetie...' This totally made my day, there was a big grin on my face when I slept and I could not stop thinking about him. The media crew shoo-ed me out, maybe it is actually forbidden to hug him :P But, I don't care.

Meeting a talented celebrity like Jason is such a golden opportunity and a privilege, I will not let it be, just like that. Haha. One of my moto of life is 'go crazy while you are young'. Because we might not be having these chances to party crazily and attending concert energetically after some time. So, enjoy your life with controlled entertainment, and work hard on achieving a good study path at the same time.

This is what I have to learn and apply for my life now.

I'm caught in a Love Hangover,

Monday, July 19, 2010

Life and Death.

As the movie, Eclispe did focus a few scenes on her, it was interesting to find out about this
newborn's life and death.

I read this book at Kinokuniya in about 110 minutes on Friday last week. I was too engrossed in finishing this book until I miss a few calls, one of it is a pretty important as it is an once-a-lifetime golden opportunity. Oh well, I am really nervous yet exciting about, will reveal it soon :) Back to Bree Tanner, after reading this book, I finally know what had happened to her. It was kinda dramatic, fun, romantic and sad to read.

'Do you want a burger?' The way she changed to a vampire is funny. Oh well, wouldn't reveal it, not gonna spoil the surprise.

Jodelle Ferland.

She is the 16 years old girl who plays Bree Tanner. Googled for her pictures, it was frightening as she acted in some horror movie, gosh I couldn't look at her.

There are so many questions and wonders in my head about Life and Death. How to lead a good life? How will my future life be? How should I improve? How does death feels like? Is it painful when I heave the last breath? Is there an after-life? Reborn? Whatever I did in this life will just be gone? How many years can I live?

I have a whole long lifetime to find out. Perhaps it is better to not find out the answer, because what matters, is enjoying the current life and expect the unexpecteds. Life is so much more fun when you do not know what will happen next. Lead a healthy, fun, excellent life, while you can. Oh well, you always can.


Thursday, July 15, 2010

I am Usher-ed.

Yes, I might be updating blog quite frequent since I got the blogging material lately. I found my passion of blogging back and hopefully, I can find my life back :)

Oh yes, I won 2 tickets to see Usher live in Kuala Lumpur on 7th July. I tried my luck on the Galaxie Magazine website, just for fun. I've never win anything big before. Perhaps it was my birthday luck, I got a call from them on the Sunday, I missed the first call actually. Lucky me though, he called again. Finding the company was a disappointing part, but thank God, I found someone who gladly I knew, had enjoyed the concert.

The view wasn't that bad, though Usher was tiny. But I was all satisfied, ain't complaining as it was free and it was a great way to finish the last day of being seventeen :) I should not complain these days because I know there are more people who are less unfortunate than me.

Back to Usher, I am not a die-hard fan, not even a fan of his. I cannot even remember I participated in the contest until he called and cannot even recall what I wrote for the slogan. But perhaps God want Usher to inspire me. His dance moves were great, well-coordinated, slinky and smooth, sexy and flirty. It worthed the guys' attention and the girls' screaming. Not to forget I was not feeling well on that day and lost my voice the next day.

A souvenir for the concert. I certainly enjoyed his one and a half hour concert. The crowd was great, loads of screaming, Usher was charming and no doubt, a world-class entertainer, the King of R&B. I am glad I am part of his first-time-in-Malaysia. You ROCK, Usher :)

I dreamt about him this morning. Michelle, you are in it too (let's see if you are my blog reader). I was in a workshop with him and he was giving away MTV World Stage passes. It is a hint isn't it? I need the passes! *Fingers-crossed*

Oh ya, I remembered. I wrote something like this to win the tickets.

I want to see Usher live in Kuala Lumpur because I want to experience this music legend as my first concert and make it a memorable night.

P.S. Oh yeah? First concert? So..not. Usher is probably my fifth though. HAHA. Beautiful lie isn't it?


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Hair Evolution.

A Haircut! After 6 months.
Love the frenzy curls, too bad it only lasts until my shower.

Throughout this 6 months, people asking me questions about my hair. I sighed and answered with my well-trained speeches because I have answered for only-God-will-know-how-many-times.

Why did you chop your hair?
Because I wanna have a change after 5 years of long hair and cure my serious dandruff problem.

Did you perm or curl your hair?
No, never, it is natural curl.

Do you wanna go rebonding again? I reckon you should, you look nicer with straight hair.
No. Somehow I like the natural curl, though I used to hate it.

Ya, I like my curls somehow, after not accepting for years. Perhaps because I have learned that natural is still the best look, rather than those fake stuff =)

I would try dreadlocks and cornrow someday! Watch me!


Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Inspiration. Where?

For 1 month or so, I've been craving for inspirations and motivations.
'Come on Wenz!' I tell myself through the mirror.
'Fix your life!' A voice inside my head tells me.
And yet, wasted the holidays and time.

I've turned 18 recently, but I don't feel 18.
Definitely not emo-ing now.
Just wondering, how to fix my life, fix myself.

More updates to come!
Loving my TokioHotel-inspired layout?
Hopefully yes :)


Thursday, June 17, 2010

As the time passes, tick tock..

They say, time is precious, life is short. You cannot afford to miss a single moment of your life. But no matter how hard I encourage myself to do something, I just cannot seem to find the momentum to kick start my work. Bad news are it will be a gruesome Production week and a totally unprepared piano practical exam the following week after next to deal with. Good news? July is here soon =)

As you can see, my June month is revolving around these. Not much, but these, are enough to take my breath away. Yes, still pretty much addicted to Tokio Hotel. The hottest topic of 2010, World Cup, but I am not that crazy about it. MTV World Stage which features TH, which I had about 5 tries to win the passes since yesterday noon. And sites like facebook, youtube, not to mention, blogger.

The bold words are pretty much my life now. I am not under depression, not moody, not down, not upset. The phrase 'Cheer up' does not really applicable to me. It is just I need motivation, the force to start the momentum (mass x velocity), I certainly have the mass (fatness), but where's my velocity?

I seriously cannot wait for the 3 weeks of holiday. But I have the feeling that, I might waste it, again :P

Fixing my life,

Friday, June 4, 2010

I dare. To dream.

It was a great theme for ARGS 39th International Understanding Day.
As it was actually inspiring to me, and it inspires this post.

Let's get back to the typical definition introduction. Dream can be defined in two ways. Dream is the success of images, thoughts, or emotions, passing through the mind during sleep or a vision voluntarily indulged in while awake; daydream; reverie. Dream is an aspiration; goal; aim.

The dream can be in any form, let it be pursuing a career, have a good life, travel around the world, be famous, have a skill that impress people and so on. But so far as what I observe, people dare to dream, but dare not pursue. Some even dare not dream, due to fear and restrictions. That is just so sad, because life is all about YOU pursuing YOUR dream.

Dare to dream but dare not pursue, your dream is just a dream, not a dream that will have a slight chance to come true.

I dream to be a famous performer. Yes I dare to dream, but not going to pursue it because I certainly don't have the talent, the guts, most importantly, the showmanship! Those performers can perform in front of hundreds or thousands of crowd, millions of television viewers worldwide. Whereas I don't even have the guts to perform a presentation in front of 20 people that I know. Yes I was glad that my 40 minutes of persentation was over, but I wasn't please with the outcome, lack of showmanship!

In my cubicle (room!), I've dream to be a powerful vocalist like Adam Lambert, to reach those unbelievable notes, to play guitar like Tom Kaulitz, to fool around with drums like Gustav and to play the piano well like Lady Gaga. Yes, I've been spending a lil of my time to watch live performances at YouTube and I am very amazed by them as a great performer on stage as they bring the audience what they want to see. Something different and unexpected all the time.

You might wonder, lost? Not again?! Yes I am lost, not emotionally this time, but academically and physically. Studies have been left out far behind, I am not working out and leading a healthy life. But I know I am going to find back the momentum, it's just the matter of when and how.


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Bieber Fever.

I often heard:
'I hate that kid!'
'He cannot sing!'
'He's gay!'
'He's just a boy!'
'He sounds like a girl!'
'Damn it's Justin Bieber!'

I shaked my head when I heard or saw all those comments. Why people are acting so cruel to him? Is it because of the fact that he is only 16? The late Michael Jackson starts his career when he was five! Is it because he sounds like a girl? It is fact that he hasn't reach the age of puberty. Bill Kaulitz sounds like a girl for the songs in their first album about 5-7 years ago when he was 15, the late MJ sounds like a girl too in 'I'll be there'.

For now, I don't have any reason to critise him as a singer, an artist, a celebrity, a teenager. No doubt teen girls will fall for his charming smile, his hair-flipping, his catchy tunes, his dance moves, his hip-hop style, but his songs aren't bad, and he got the talent. If he cannot sing, you can? We can? It's not easy to live as a celebrity, to attend those events daily with hectic schedule, to worry about popularity, to perform perfectly everytime. I just don't understand why people don't appreciate his effort and just decide to hate him because apparently they think this KID is too young to be idolised and is trying to be a dude. That's bullshit.

It's not that I am a Bieber fan, it is true that I downloaded all his songs in school for my brother during IPT period. I dislike him at first glance, critising 'all the girls in his music videos are taller than him!'. But on second thought, I learnt to see things in a different perspective, I choose to see the better side of things. Why choose to live in a world full of hatred and sin? Why wasting time hate this and that while you can fill love and happiness for yourself in so many meaningful way? Why making your life revolves around other people when it is your life? Why being so eager to compete, to fight, to win while you can enjoy life?

I believe
Two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.


Friday, May 14, 2010


When you fall, you will get back up, in your way.
When I fall, I try get back up, searching back myself and get back my focus, in my way.
My way is like isolation, alienation, and self-review.
It does not mean like locking up myself in a room, avoid any contact or communication.
Yes it is kind of less socialising (oh well, I am an anti-social type of person also) and uses time to heal the mixed emotions of lost, confusion, sadness, dissappointment, anger, etc.

I was addicted to Facebook, log on almost every 5 minutes when I am online-ing and frequently check the status updates. For two weeks till today, I restrained myself from visiting the social networking site, in order to find back myself. Self-discipline and self-control, I've learnt.

Shopping! Is never a crime for females. With the annual mid-year Mega Sale is coming, or actually is already here, I am prepared to shop for what I need. I perfectly know what I want.
Flip flops
And the list goes on and on :)

Studies! As mid year exams had just passed, I am kinda relax now. Well, was relaxing throughout the week, thanks to flexible timetable and the preparation wasn't hectic, maybe I learn to take it in a rather easy way, and surprisingly, it worked and I wish the grades would be satisfying. But I've also know consistent revision is needed, gotta work on it then. Oh ya thanks to the dark chocs :) and those wishes (you know who you are :] )

Friendship, I was pretty uncertain about this for the past weeks. A quote from a forwarded email:
which I find, true. Perhaps the treatment I get will never be the same as before, and probably will not getting better, but I do still believe, and will never give up. But I know, I will be tired of trying. When it is the fate to finish, I will get the hint and move on. *Smile*

I am pretty sure Facebook homepage is full of the news of the newly-crowned Barclays EPL champions of 2009/2010 this past Sunday. To me, blue does not seems nice on the trophy :P I google-imaged for a picture of Chelsea winning the trophy for 5 minutes, still failed, if not mistaken, the picture above was from 2006. Though disappointed as ManUtd cannot win for a 4th straight title and overcome Liverpool as the most cup holders, but it does not affect me that much, perhaps it is the fact that Cristiano Ronaldo wasn't there anymore, I am no longer an avid fan of football, but I still catch the news!

Novels! I set myself a target of reading 18 novels for year 2010. For now, 6 is down, 7 is half-done. Maybe it is too hard to achieve 18, with studies and packed activities, but I will try, hope I can. The bunch of untouched novels that bought for ages must be finished by this year!

MUSIC! Most of you will agree on this, music plays a vital part in our life. Songs with so many different genres, with so many talented singers, performers, producers, musicians, songwriters.. Music is an important entertainment in our life. My playlist has been revolving around Tokio Hotel's songs for about 2 months, I am still addicting to 1000 Mere, Rette Mich & Spring Nicht. And I started on composing their sheet musics and currently working on a song, might be giving up half way, haha! But most importantly, my Grade 8 practical! With about a month away, many aspects are not covered at all, and my progress has been really 'adagio' (slow), damn I gotta 'allegretto-lise' (faster-lise) myself on the pieces, scales, oral, sight-read.. God bless me, please.

Watched this today. Wasn't attract to it at first, but it turned out to be good. An inspiring and touching thriller, the first movie collaboration from Singapore and Malaysia. It was heart-wrenching, mentally-torturing, physically-abusing, electrifying and exhilarating at most of the scenes. Thumbs up, of course you don't compare it to the Hollywood's productions with advanced technology and over-budget. But the movie offers great acting and valuable lessons and inspirations for me :) Bravo!


Sunday, May 9, 2010

Have been a week or so, I have kind of feeling demotivated and uninspired. Disappointment stays beyond me as people seems cold, ignorance towards me like I never exist, never bother to bother me. Sadness is there when I see friends in pain, the pain of love. Anger is boiling within me when I see the irresponsibility of inconsiderate people. Sarcastic amazement is felt when I see how competitive and desperate people are, not knowing what is called 'satisfaction' and how fortunate we are actually. Tiredness is always here, as I constantly fight off these feelings, wanting to get back some optimism. Self-discipline, self control, self-motivating are required to build back myself.

Went Youtube to watch some Tokio Hotel videos, perhaps for now, they are my only source of inspiration I've got. I think it works :) Exams next week, I feel relax, haven't start studying actually, being unproductive for the entire week. But I am kind of positive about that :D

Somehow I wish I am not one of those typical female driver, you know what I mean. Failed the first driving test, banged the car the first time I drove after getting license, made some incredulous turns with great force, engine died at the middle of the junction.. All of these are making me LMAO. Maybe I am just a reckless driver or an inpatient one, or an over-confident one. Engines and me, somehow cannot be connected. That's why, Physics is not my subject, it used to be mine :(

I want to drive officially, to go wherever I want. I can redeem my Tokio Hotel tickets at Petaling Jaya, I can go Fitness First Plant A Tree Campaign at Kepong, I can go Klang for Bak Kut Teh, I can go Sunway Pyramid for Ice-Skating, I can fetch Charissa around in July, I can do so many things. Hopefully the time is here soon.



Tuesday, May 4, 2010

When the boys ROCK my night..

I do feel guilty for skipping half the practice camp, missing the 2 hours hiking and the overnight session. But deep inside, I clearly know if I do not skip, I will regret for my entire whole life. I never thought to go for a concert for free again after All American Rejects last October. But thank God, a rock band was once again brought to Malaysia and I got to go :)

The golden ticket. Thanks to Aadini & WeyYin for it :)
Aadini who was willing to give me, as a facebook stranger to her.
WeyYin who gave me an extra for memory and she was so persistent, making me to go :)

The autograph session, pictured grabbed from Everyone Connect.
Although can see them at a close distance, but I do not regret for not going for their autograph.
It was a great blessing that I can go camp and concert on the same day.

The band. Aww I miss them.

The Kaulitz twins. They are perfectly beautiful, this is a bad sign, I am falling for them.

The interview session.

The 3 hours waiting session.
'It's raining today, the blinds are shut, always the same'

My view with a lil zoom. Blame me height, I got difficulty to see. BUT I managed to sneak here and there :)

I think I spotted SuMin's hand and Charlotte at second row!

Pop Shuvit, again for the opening act.
Once again, I enjoyed Mara Bahaya, the only their song I knew.

Bunkface, again. I prefer his hairstyle last year. But they kept us entertained with strong hits like 'Through the Window' and 'Prom Queen'. Great job guys, once again proved that local bands aren't bad.

The long anticipated one. They kicked off with Noise, the crowd clearly gone crazy with female fans screamed with high-pitched voice, camera flashes and jumping along the rock music. It was crazy as people kept pushing, I was being pushed towards the front, till 5th row, and lastly 2nd row. How amazing!

The energetic frontman, Bill Kaulitz who sang about 11-12 songs, interacting with fans, running for sides to sides. Good vocals, but I wish the volume is greater, it will be much better for the rocking mood.

Oh my.. I am melting..

Tom Kaulitz the guitarist! Oh oh TOMM :)

Grabbed from Facebook.
An awesome shot of him!

My Georg Listing shot!

Georg the bassist and Gustav the drummer. I particular like this band's bass and drums which is significant in their electro pop rock songs.

WeyYin. I suppose this is the shot that you are talking about.
Would be better if the mic stand aren't there.

My shot of the band. OMR. They rock!

Bill impressed us with his vocals, brought the fans to frenzy with their hits!
I was surprised I was the only one who sang Forever Now along, clearly others didn't know!
Haha, my current ringtone!

Tom with the guitar. Popular with girls who fall for his charm and style (me! over here!).

Georg Listing the bassist. I was amazed by his hair! It's just oohlala sexy! HAHA!
How sad there isn't any picture of Gustav :(

The Meet & Greet session. Charlotte is in the first picture! There are people hugging Tom and Bill. Yes although I am jealous, but having a chance to see their concert, I am satisfied already.
And the boys will be back for MTV event.

I proudly announce, I am PROUD to be one of the fans of German Tokio Hotel who revel in the rain for them. It was absolutely worth it and no regrets.

For now, I am still damn addicted to their songs, perhaps can say, MORE addicted. I cannot believe I actually shedded tears when I heard 'Rette Mich'. Although I don't understand what does it mean at first, but the mood of the song suited my mood for now. Thanks TOKIO HOTEL for a great night and inspirational songs.

Song titles jumble up time! The bold ones were the songs performed :)

Hey You! Yes, I am talking to you, Desiree. Yes I know you are Screamin' at the top of your lungs, wanting a Breakaway. As Human Connect to Human, there will be cold people who just seems to use you to satisfy their wants or needs. They seem Automatic, to ignore you like you do not exist, whatever you did for them just seems nothing, not even bother to reply, to thank or to apologise. I can feel The Pain of Love, the pain of loving someone so much, and yet getting a harsh payback. Tears are flowing down like monsoon season, quiet sobs are accompanying you to sleep, even affecting your study mood. But so what? Yes it hurts, perhaps it's time to let go. Move on and never give up on what you want, the journey of life is never meant to crush you, but to build your own unique identity and a stronger you. So Ready Set Go, act like Dogs Unleashed, and just go for what you want by listening to your heart. I believe in this, I believe that as long I go for what I want, I can see the World Behind My Wall and it will be beautiful. Make some Noise, brightened your life and make your journey an interesting one.

P.S. Though I am banning myself from Facebook, but blogging is an exemption. But don't think I will have blogging materials till next Friday, half yearly exams!

Rette Mich,